 Tired of things (Very long, rant.)
I'm posting this from my Dad's house...but...
here's my problem.
I got caught sneaking out last night...in fact that's why I'm at my Dad's house. Fuck going home right now.
If you don't want to read the whole story...scroll down to the bold part. It's not going to make much sense if you don't read it though. I've always had a problem with keeping short things and my mind sometimes seems to wander. It takes a lot of writing for me to express a simple concept.
Anyways. I was with my girlfriend all night. We were with her sister, mom, and step dad. We were at this bar/bowling alley. Her mom was there drinking at around 6 or 7 and at around midnight I decided to sneak out and hang out my girlfriend. Wasn't too far from my house so I just skated.
The reason I'm posting this topic is because I'm tired...tired of all this shit. I've been going out with my gf for 8 months now and since the beginning I've been sneaking around to see her. Thinking now about it...if I didn't keep everything a secret, none of this would have happened.
The trouble started because my girlfriend got kicked out of school, charged with distribution + possession of a controlled substance, and some other shit. She brought a bottle of tramadol (what a shitty drug to get kicked out of school for) and was handing pills out to people.
Anyways. Few months go by after that, I'm sneaking over to her house on school nights (mom was home on weekends, home alone on weekdays) we'd do whatever, I'd leave an hour before school started for me and I'd pop a few adderalls to stay up. I always went through her window...and here's the confusing part. If we both didn't try keeping things secret, I wouldn't of had to do this.
A few more months go by (actually I have no fucking idea, I have a shitty concept of time) and we get caught. That night we both took vicodin and had a lengthy conversation on AIM about...everything. She passed out but left our aim convo up. Her grandpa decided to read it and he went absolutely ape shit about it.
He called me and told me that my parents would soon find out. Fuck that. I'm on a shitty dial up connection at my moms house...decided to use that to my advantage. Kept that shit on 24/7 - tying up the phone line. My girlfriend lives with her grandpa by the way - this dumb motherfucker decided to call up my school's police officer and tell him about it. So I wake up, this fucking pig is sitting in my living room.
Will cut to the point here, I gotta leave soon and I'm getting kinda lengthy. Basically we talked about how we were each other's first, how I snuck over to her house, doing drugs, buying drugs, and very personal shit in our lives. Her dumbass grandpa decided to tell this pig about everything. The cop is a fucking dick head and ever since he found out I was a person involved in drugs going around at school. It was to the point where I'd get pulled out of class and searched for no reason. When I was being searched, I'd ask why and most of the time they'd tell me that another student told on me for possibly having drugs. Fucking bullshit, on most of those days I didn't tell anyone shit and I didn't have anything. Anyway, the cop tried to take my girlfriend's computer for evidence against me but her grandpa refused to hand it over because of the simple fact that he didn't want sexual stuff between me and his granddaughter to be known. Otherwise he said he would have completely obliged.
While I was at my gfs house earlier I get a call from my mom. She asked where I was and I told her that I was at my friends house. She asked to talk to him but I told her that he was sleeping. Obviously she thought I was doing drugs or up to trouble...and I had just been to court a few days ago for curfew so I just told her I was staying there. I heard her crying because she thinks I'm doing drugs again... that's some fucking bullshit. I've been clean from weed and the other shit I've been doing for awhile now.
I guess she bought the excuse. I had to leave my gf's house at 5:30 because she was leaving to go out of town... I took a cab home and didn't go inside because I was trying to avoid confrontation. So for a few hours I've been skateboarding around. The excuse fucking backfired on me when I was on some random street and I see my dad drive by when he was on his way to work. So he calls my mom telling her that he saw me and basically here I am... sitting at my Dad's house confused as fuck.
I can't believe that I've written all this shit without even explaining what I need advice on. Basically I'm fucking tired of keeping all this shit secret. As far as my mom knows, my GF broke up with me when we got caught for that convo. Fuck that. Since I've met my girlfriend's mom and got to know her and her now husband, I'm thinking about telling my mom. And I need help with this
I don't know what to do. Should I try to keep it a secret, keep going out with my girlfriend, and see how it works? I'm thinking about having my mom talk to her mom. Her mom is the coolest fucking mom ever. She was buying us drinks at the bar and telling us to have fun. She fucking loves me, knowing everything about me and her daughter. What we've done, what drugs we do, etc. The only time she flipped shit was when we went to the back of the alley where she thought we were going to fuck...
I can't explain this without writing a book and that pisses me off. Well, her mom was, from what I've assumed, addicted to heroin. That's why my girlfriend lives with her grandpa. Her mom says that she doesn't touch weed but I have my doubts...a ounce and a half came up missing from her and her husband's room and she was questioning me about it. Her husband also was carrying about 3 grand... if it's not already obvious then I don't know what else to say. This isn't relevant, but he basically told me that if I hurt (my girlfriend) I would get my ass beaten and hearing stories about him I am not doubting this.
This is why I'm afraid. My mom knows about the drugs with her mom...My girlfriend's mom said that she'd gladly talked to my mom but I don't want my mom to start acting like she always. Assuming shit. "Oh you used to be on drugs and you got your kids taken away from you, you're a fuck up in life, stay the fuck away from my son".
What the fuck do I do totse? What would you do in my position?
I guess I'm going to leave now. I'll check this later at my house, after I wake up and after I get a fucking lecture.
|
2007-07-09, 13:26
