We've all experienced each of these, or at least know well enough what they are that I don't have to explain the differences. Thats not what this thread is about.

I find lately that the less I have emotionally invested, the better I am in bed. When its just some random chick I know i'm never going to see again, I have no problem throwing her around and being passionate about it.

But when I actually care about someone, I find that I'm a lot less likely to be sexual at all. And if I do, i'm a lot more timid about it. I guess I've always associated abstinence with respect or...whatever bullshit. This is something of a problem, because you're still expected to step up. And I end up doing it anyways, because it's expected of me. And because it's expected it kind of takes all the passion out of it, and it's more like a chore.

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

yes because im the exact same way, of course im sexually attracted to my g/f, whom i love to death, but im not as sexually attracted to her as i was to girls before i went out with her, or before i fell in love w/ her before we dated, i had more of lust for her, but now since im in love with her, im just not as umm active about it? if that's what your saying, then yeah, if i totally misunderstood im sorry and im a fool. XD

Back when I was just fucking my girl, I was always up for it, it was good, and never had a problem getting it up... but now that we're dating, it seems like every other time we go to fuck I just remain this sad floppy mess...

Amen brother :\

Emotional connections are great drains on desire for sex and what not. Usually since the relationship can run great on other non-sexual things. Relationships based on Love are never purely sexual. That's the simple hard truth of the matter. Relationships based on lust, however, don't have to be. Not to say that if you're not in love with her, you're only into the relationship to fuck her brains out. Some relationships based on Lust do have a strong level of non-sexual intimacy, but not as great as those based on Love.

So, yeah. Love can be a drain on sex. But then again, that's not to say it's impossible for people who are in love to have a healthy and hot sex life. It varies between people a lot.

^What he said, plus if you do have a relationship based on love you should be able to talk about stuff like that. If she loves you and all I don't see how it would be a problem if you guys just had hot raunchy fuck the shit out of her without kissing her every 5 seconds sex.

It's the same on both sides. I really care for my boyfriend, and as much as I do still lust for him, I don't think I do quite as much as I would if we weren't dating. Eh. I really like to be aggressive with sex, too, and I just can't be like that with him.

I've never had that problem. Every night me and my ex were together I would be revving and ready to go. More often than not more that once a night.

But I suppose girls become less sexually appealing when you're a couple, because there's no challenge in it. You can chase anything if its not running (that sounds bad, but you know what I mean). The trying to get the girl is half the fun

Alright, I'm not the one to speak about this since I've generallly had shitty luck with girls and have yet to get laid.

But, the difference to me is mostly respect. If I love a girl, I don't want to screw things up by being too rough and driving her away if she isn't ready. If I just lust after a girl, or just simply don't care about her, all I want to do is just fuck her. Of course, it would help if I had relationships that lasted over a month. But, that's what happens when girls go lesbian, things get akward, she gets clingy, etc.