I used to always give money to "hungry" people and folks who were panhandling...And then I unfortunately learned that most of those people aren't even all that "down and out." I used to volunteer for this air force charity organization because I wanted to help people after my husbasnd got his commission. I KNOW what it's like to be really poor and to have no one willing to help...So I wanted to help others! So we had this food closet for "needy airman" and their families and we provided $25 checks to the commissary if someone was REALLY needy that month.

Anyway, I started noticing that the same people were coming to the food closet and requesting the checks every month and I thought this rather strange, because it was only supposed to be like an emergency thing that people did. So I went and talked to the first seargent in charge and he looked into it more deeply and discovered that several of the airman were just getting the food and checks just so they could SELL it!!! Yes you read that right...SELL IT! The worst part was that some of the airmans families actually NEEDED the food they were selling and their children were going hungry. Anyway, the First seargent was so horrified that he actually abolished the food closet and stopped giving out the commissary checks. This charity was his own project...Most first seargents wouldn't even bother.:(

I bet a lot of those "homeless" and "hungry" people just are too lazy to work or something. I'm not saying that there aren't people who do need charity...Like I volunteer once a month at the VA hospital and those guys actually need help and I wish there was more I could do for them. But someone who is able bodied and not crazy or anything...Most of those people are just making bad decisions and then expecting the rest of us to take care of them.

Anyway, I started noticing that the same people were coming to the food closet and requesting the checks every month and I thought this rather strange, because it was only supposed to be like an emergency thing that people did. So I went and talked to the first seargent in charge and he looked into it more deeply and discovered that several of the airman were just getting the food and checks just so they could SELL it!!! Yes you read that right...SELL IT! The worst part was that some of the airmans families actually NEEDED the food they were selling and their children were going hungry.

That's sick. I hope those people got punished. Canceling the checks just made the situation worse for the kids. Did ChildSupport get involved?






A few years back, when my mum kicked me out, Absoulutely no one would help me.
I went to the "Young homeless offices" and I explained my situation (young and homeless, oddly enough) and they said they couldnt help me.
I wasnt on drugs, I wasnt pregnant, didnt have any kids, wasnt being abused, and wasnt getting beaten up.

There's a tip for you if you're looking for help people, go for one of the above and people will fall over themselves to help you.

My boyfriends mum wouldnt let me near her house, my brother didnt have the room, and so on. It was only through sheer luck and determination on my part that I managed to get a job and find a landlord nice enough to understand that the deposit would be in the form of some items of jewelery I had tucked away.

No one ever helped me.

I'm sure that should be telling me that I need to help other people in that situation, but in this area the majority of people who need a home or money just get pregnant and solve the problem by getting the government and tax payers to pay for a home for them.

The airmen did get punished, but not severely enough! No one ever helped me back when I was really poor either, which is one of the reasons I have little sympathy for panhandlers. If I could get through it...Why can't they?

I really hate this whole 'deserving poor' notion.

One if the few rows I ever had with my Ex was about my giving to beggars. Ain't my job to judge whether or not they are somehow to be considered deserving of my £1. Maybe they are just able bodied scroungers...does it matter?

So i aid and abet someones elses lazyness a couple of times, but the next maybe my £1 will mean the difference between life and death.

You can never tell.

Okay, next time give them £1 worth of food and see their response.


When I worked at this fried chicken shop, there'd be a homeless guy who'd beg outside, and as most of the customers were drunk/high, everyone would throw their change at him. Also, if they were coming out with bags of food and this skinny sick looking guy was begging, they'd feel really guilty and give him even more.
Fair enough, he was a very nice guy. I'd allways give him the chicken that was left at the end of the night.

Thing is, he'd also come in at the end of the night to change his begging funds up into notes.It worked for us because we needed the change, and it worked for him because he didnt need to drag £40 of pennies around with him.
Yeah, £40. A night.

I knew he was a heroin addict and dealer. But yet I still gave food to him and didnt discourage him from begging there.
He was still homeless, and still helpless.I very much doubt that giving him money or food really helped that much, and it certainly didnt stop him from doing that shit or selling it. I Mean wow, who wouldnt be happy earning £40 for sitting outside a fried chicken shop for a few hours?

That was a very confusing time for me.

I'm still confused.

I wouldnt do that stuff for anyone else ever again though.

A very socialist ideal.:P

Maybe as I get older I'll become more of a philanthrophist...I don't know. Maybe it's because I live somewhere that the poor are scorned as lazy and unambitious./shrug

I feel like if someone's only recourse is begging and depending on the kindness of others...Maybe their life isn't worth living in the first place? But then I remember the man from "Johnny Got His Gun" and how he felt that even a bad life was better than no life, so I don't know.

"Oh but they'll only waste cash on alcohol and drugs"....
*cough* and I won't? *cough*

Fucking perfect.

See, people like yoyo are just proof that no matter how hard shit gets, if you keep persevering, you are bound to strike luck sometime.

Hell, I've lived through war, having 3 apartments completely destroyed, nearly losing my loved ones, and spending a good part of my childhood in a basement with mattresses pressed against the windows and doors.

But did my family just fall over and die? No! We realized the situation was hard, so we spent a couple of weeks on it, and we moved to a neutral country. It was hard for a few years, sure, my dad wasn't there and my mom didn't have the best of jobs, so we made do with a little apartment and not knowing the language too well.

Then we moved again, and it was the same deal, small apartment, crappy jobs, etc.

But we stuck with it for a couple of years, working really hard to get more and more, and now I'm sitting in a fairly big house, overlooking my aunt's big house a street away, writing from a computer that cost more than my family's last apartment, and otherwise enjoying life, because my dad and mom worked really hard when the going got really shitty.

They could have relax and saved themselves the anguish, but then I wouldn't have this, and neither would they.

If you want something in life, go and do it yourself. Sitting on your ass isn't going to advance you in life, at best, you'll make enough to not go hungry tonight, and tomorrow you'll be in the same situation. You have to improve, however gradually. Find a low paying but stable job today, tomorrow get a GED, then work as a mechanic, get a place, and eventually you'll have enough money to live on your own.

It's not easy, but if you get off your ass and kick whatever drug addiction you have, you can do it.

Now leave me and my change alone.

Where were you living back then?

Bosnia (well, when I was born, it was still Yugoslavia) -> Czech Republic -> and now Canada!

I still root for the Czechs in soccer though, it's just less embarrassing that way.

Damn that's rough. Have you ever read "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo? I force myself to read it every couple of years to teach myself to appreciate how good my life is. It's inspiring how your family persevered over such hardship.

I haven't, but I'm going to right now (that means whenever my lazy ass gets on up to the library).

And yeah, my parents have definitely made me a better person for it. I can empathize with homeless people, but I can't justify them sitting there, going day to day like that. It's not that they're homeless that bothers me, it's the fact that they're unwilling to fix their problem by working on it, they expect a quick fix to come and give them what they want.

I sell weed to squeegee punks regularly. They know me and shit and usually give me 10 loonies for a gram. The younger homelesss (15-30) have a chance in hell of making it and they're good fun. The older crazier ones are the dangerous, pathetic ones.

A very socialist ideal.:P

Maybe as I get older I'll become more of a philanthrophist...I don't know. Maybe it's because I live somewhere that the poor are scorned as lazy and unambitious./shrug

I feel like if someone's only recourse is begging and depending on the kindness of others...Maybe their life isn't worth living in the first place? But then I remember the man from "Johnny Got His Gun" and how he felt that even a bad life was better than no life, so I don't know.

Trust me, i'm about as far from being a socialist as I am from being a feminist.

But I've been there. Even after all these years I find it real hard to sleep in a bed. Infact even the matress on the floor that Mrs Ketch and i share is still too soft for me. Left up to me I'd sleep on the floor (better for my neck too).

I've stolen, lied, cheated, sold my body and commited just about every crime and sin going to survive at times. And I always made it.

But

A lot of people don't. And you can't tell by looking or a short conversation, who is deserving of your help.

I stopped giving to those people after I gave one guy $30 and then saw him 20 minutes later buying whiskey.

-NS

Sleep a couple of nights outside, even in summer and you'll start to realise why a lot of homeless people buy alcohol before food.

Aww, I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

Then I remembered that episode of South Park: "Change? Change? Does anybody have some change?"

Folkfest?!

homeless people are cool. Anybody who says "GET A JOB" to one is a fucking retard. They have a job. It's to remind the rest of us to go to schoool and eat our vegtables so we don't end up like that.

I think bums should advertise buisnesses. Give them a sign and tell them if they bring the sign back at the end of the day on their stomach they get $3 plus commission for everybody who comes to the store and says the heard about it from a crazy hobo. Asking people for change for free doesn't make much sense to me. I know a lot of people who've done it and when I was on the streets I just stole as much as I could to support myself. Granted, I probably wasn't as desperate as jackketch here but I didn't find it hard at all to find a place to crash. Basically here's how it works

1. Hustle, steal, beg, borrow, do whatever to get as much money as you can during the day.
2. Get drunk at night, do crazy shit and spend the night with whoever you got drunk with.
3. Wake up the next day whereever and do it again.


Honest living...

Trust me, i'm about as far from being a socialist as I am from being a feminist.

Don't take this as an insult, but without the elements of socialism that have existed in the English political system since the early 1900s, you wouldn't have your house, income, support, etc. I can see you probably have arguements around that but being anti-socialist implies you're essentially laissez faire, and from what I know about you, you aren't exploiting, promoting or even supporting such a system at all.

Don't take this as an insult, but without the elements of socialism that have existed in the English political system since the early 1900s, you wouldn't have your house, income, support, etc. I can see you probably have arguements around that but being anti-socialist implies you're essentially laissez faire, and from what I know about you, you aren't exploiting, promoting or even supporting such a system at all.

As always its a question of how one defines terms . Personally I would claim that the system I so cheerfully and successfully exploit was born of [i]liberalism[/.i]-you know Lloyd George and all that stuff.

Don't forget that I grew up in a time when socialism meant Arthur Scargill, Wedgy Benn and..and...*shudders* R-r-red W-e-dge *cross self*

Socialism is kewl...I wish the USA at least had universal healthcare and better benefits for single parents. That's why my family is moving to Canada or England as soon as my husband gets out of the military.

I hear they're talking about privatising congress...

So are HT and HOZ married yet?

Around here for the past year or so, a large portion of the homeless are so simply for the fact that they can no longer afford housing, so lots of them have jobs but no place to live, it makes me sad :(. And ANYONE can get a job right now, so I've lost quite a bit of sympathy for the drunks sitting on the street begging for change because there's really no reason for it. Seriously, there's companies that go to homeless shelters to recruit guys to work, they work for 2 days, get paid and you never see them again because they're out buying booze/crack/whatever. It's ridiculous.

Come to Canada.

I could list many reasons why it's better to live here, but I'll just mention dental hygiene and leave it at that.

My Daddy started a similar program last year. He interviews each family, going over their monthly finances with them, etc. He helps them to balance out their budget and depending on how severe the situation, allows them commissary checks for certain amounts of money. In more sever cases, he refers them to the Department of Family Services for expedited food stamps. The program has been very successful. There are not many people in the program, and they don't always get checks. They are required to turn in bank statements and schedule and interview with my daddy once a month, though.

Just reminded me.. :) But it is horrible that there are people who take advantage of things like that.

My greatest fear though, is that I will be ignoring the person who truly needs the help.

Oh joy!

Someone else saw sicko...

Excuse me, speaking as a homeless man at heart (I've come back to my parents house for a little while to try to introduce God into their lives so they don't freak out when I leave like last time), I personally never feel that I am being "humiliated". In fact, when I am homeless I know that then is when I am truly being exalted and I see humanity as a whole as being incredibly silly (to put it nicely). Unless they decide to exercise a divine moment of rare love and compassion.

I never feel bad when someone doesn't help me, in fact I almost feel bad when people do help me. I don't really need your help, in fact I don't really even need this body. My sinful nature is always seeking comfort, though, as is yours. So really, we're not all that different...some of us just have faith.

I feel a certain amount of empathy when I see a homeless person. I know how sick and scared I'd feel if I lost my home, and how close to the edge I allways am, mentally and financially, and I feel really bad for those people who did lose.

But then.. The cynical side of me recals all the bad times when giving or trying to help has just gone so horribly wrong or sad. And I think "fuck it "


That's what I hate. That poor skinny guy on the street corner, he's starving and hooked on his drug of choice and probably dying, but no matter what I can do to help him, it's not exactly going to get him cleaned up and in a job. Infact, sometimes, it seems on the occaisions I *do* help someone all I'm doing is delaying their death by a few weeks.

Anyone ever worked in a sally ann shelter? It gets tiring pretty damn quick, when you hear some of people chatting about the benefits they get given.

Again, the few fuckers who are shit people and lie about it, make prospective helpers jaded and bitter, and unwilling to help the genuine people who need help.

Good for you.

My Daddy started a similar program last year. He interviews each family, going over their monthly finances with them, etc. He helps them to balance out their budget and depending on how severe the situation, allows them commissary checks for certain amounts of money. In more sever cases, he refers them to the Department of Family Services for expedited food stamps. The program has been very successful. There are not many people in the program, and they don't always get checks. They are required to turn in bank statements and schedule and interview with my daddy once a month, though.

Just reminded me.. :) But it is horrible that there are people who take advantage of things like that.

My greatest fear though, is that I will be ignoring the person who truly needs the help.

Your dads program is a lot better.

I read the first couple of lines of this, then it descended into yoyobekism.

you know after walking around the streets seeing at least 10 people like that a day you just stop caring. It may seem sad but I've grown immune to the pit in your stomach you get. There are a bunch of guys out there who i really do like. For example there is this one guy i call bill(he only lets people other than me and a few other people call him bill, his real name's william) who usually walks around selling drugs and begging during the day and sleeps on the street corner with a blanket radio and usually beans for dinner.

But then there is the other ones. THe people who follow you into pizza shops and try to sell you lighters after you said no at least 5 times to them. The guys who ask you for money and then try to jump you afterwards. Bums are like everyone else, they are good ones and bad ones. The bad ones made me not care about the good ones.


And another thing i think about, If i worked hard for this money, why should i be obligated to give it to some other guy? I'm not a millionare and neither is anyone in my family. If i had enough damn I'd help people that needed me but why should i feel bad for people that are having money problems just like me? Is it because I'm smart enough to get a job and actually work? Is it because I'm not an alcoholic? well screw it. I'm keeping my hard earned money to myself and if you call me a selfish bastard, then go ahead.

SO???

Heh, I come from a city where the homeless people are hardly ever seen, they don't beg a lot - and keep to themselves.

When I moved north I found that the homeless people were totally different - way more of them, a lot more dominate in the city and not shy at all.

Although, those homeless drunks I see, most never ever beg, one in particular, who's named blanket man is often just given stuff because he's so well known in the city. He has his own wiki page even http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_man People always leave him bags of food and drink, and often hes seen headbanging with an ipod on (no idea who gives him that). I miss his purple blanket.

There are a couple though, that ask me most days I walk through town - I always say no, not out of being a bitch, but I'm a student - every dollar is budgeted for. The government here gives more to lazy bastards on the dole then it does to fucking full time university students trying to improve themselves (and therefore their country). That reason alone irritates the fuck out of me enough to say no.

I always give to organised charity for these people (shelters etc) but I don't have the money to give out to everyone that asks for it.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

I'm a student - every dollar is budgeted for. The government here gives more to lazy bastards on the dole then it does to fucking full time university students trying to improve themselves (and therefore their country). That reason alone irritates the fuck out of me enough to say no.



That reminds me. One time I was at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (??) RMIT and there was a homeless guy asking for money. Did he honesty think students have any money to give?!?

That reminds me. One time I was at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology (??) RMIT and there was a homeless guy asking for money. Did he honesty think students have any money to give?!?

What about all those students sent there by their rich mommy's and daddy's?

What about all those students sent there by their rich mommy's and daddy's?

I'm not sure. I think it was like the dorm district or something. I would have thought rich ones would live somewhere more...rich?

And even if they had money going of the rich parents angle, do they really think young adults who get everything paid for would have compassion for what they have to live through. I wouldn't think so.

I think it was a poor choice.

SO???

No, we're not..

After a lot of thinking, I'm not entirely sure marriage is right for me right now..

He needs resolve a lot of his issues, as do I, before I will actually make that no-cheap-way-out decision.

He's not too happy about it.. but if he wants to marry me, he'll work on getting better..

I hope..

Meh, some I've met are cool. The majority of them aren't actually in desperate need of the money(Well, genuine hobos, but that sounds bastardish), so I tend to not give anything to them.

Yep we have one of those in Oklahoma.
His name is Car Wash Man.
Somehow he makes it to all the venues and hangs out with the kids.
Cool guy.

Yep we have one of those in Oklahoma.
His name is Car Wash Man.
Somehow he makes it to all the venues and hangs out with the kids.
Cool guy.

Seriously?

I live in Oklahoma too, what town is he in?

No, we're not..

After a lot of thinking, I'm not entirely sure marriage is right for me right now..

He needs resolve a lot of his issues, as do I, before I will actually make that no-cheap-way-out decision.

He's not too happy about it.. but if he wants to marry me, he'll work on getting better..

I hope..

What do your parents think?

I think you made a good decision...Probably a lot more level headed than I was at 18!:P So you're being really careful not to have more kids...Right?

What do your parents think?

I think you made a good decision...Probably a lot more level headed than I was at 18!:P So you're being really careful not to have more kids...Right?

I had a Mirena implanted.. I'm good for at five years-ish..

My parents were the ones to more or less talk me out of it.. They disguised it as not feeling right about not being able to give me a real wedding.. They want me to wait until they can..

In daddy talk that means, "Here's more time to make sure you want to deal with this for the rest of your life.. :("

I had a Mirena implanted.. I'm good for at five years-ish..

My parents were the ones to more or less talk me out of it.. They disguised it as not feeling right about not being able to give me a real wedding.. They want me to wait until they can..

In daddy talk that means, "Here's more time to make sure you want to deal with this for the rest of your life.. :("

My advice has always been to take what your parents say...then do the exact opposite.

It got me through high school and it's getting me through university.

In her case though...Her parents sound like a good influence and they obveously really want what's best for her.

If you're going to do ANYTHING for people you see on the streets, just buy them a sandwich or something, because they are absolutely just going to blow whatever cash you give them on drugs or alcohol. Those dirty fucks don't deserve your money! Plus I am acquainted with many people who are fairly well off who just dress up in shitty clothes and go out with signs pretending they are destitute and some of the more successful ones make out like bandits at the end of the day because people fall for that bullshit.

Whys this in S&A..?

Because we take 'affection' to cover the whole rainbow spectrum of human relationships and interaction.

I get sooo tired of explaining this.

Because we take 'affection' to cover the whole rainbow spectrum of human relationships and interaction.

I get sooo tired of explaining this.

I'm sorry but that is no where explained on the site, and it is not something that can be searched for (You cant look when you dont know what your looking for)


To be on topic : I don't hand out freebies ever since I saw that episode of southpark.

There aren't that many hobo's in my area (that I know of) but I generally try to treat 'em nicely and if I did see one in need I'd probably buy them a meal or something.

I imagine homeless peeps as having great stories to tell, but the one guy I talked to on the way to a festival had some sort of fucked up speech impediment. :o
Still cool, though.

I'm sorry but that is no where explained on the site, and it is not something that can be searched for (You cant look when you dont know what your looking for)



Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here.

I used to know a tramp called Reg and i always used to see him weekly as he lived under a bridge , i used to drop some ham rolls off to him and a pouch of baccy with a thermos of soup or tea. Used to tell me some crazy things. I went down one day and he was petrified he told me some kids had came across him and were throwing bottles at him and stealing his stuff. So the next time i went down i took along a bat for him to use if there was any other trouble , he wasnt there and all was there was a note claiming he had enough and thanked me for my Generosity. Thats the last time i heard from him hope he's doing ok :(

Thank you for being so caring toward that man.. I appreciate it.. :)

I live in the quiet suburbs so I don't see homeless.

However, when I go to New York with family, when my dad refuses any of the car washers (explanation: I didn't ask for it) money, I usually open window and give them any change on me (which isn't very often, but hey, I still do).

Right now, I'm in Beijing (for 6 weeks), and I give the abandoned cats outside my place some food every day. Poor kitties got kicked out by the people living beneath me in favor of dogs.

Bastards ...

You realise those kittys are gonna be served up to somone on a plate soon :(

best hobo/ street guy ever. My brother and I smoked a joint with him when we went to Toronto for my grandfathers funeral. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanta

In the Uk there aren't that many, usually theres a couple on motor ways. I never thought they were in a real bad situation i always just thought they were hitchhikers.

Its hard for me to. I work at a near minimum wage job with minimum hours that requires me to walk two miles each way through a sleezy part of town. Nothing but crack heads the entire walk. I am piss poor, but my parents aren't. So I at least have a home until I'm 18, and some decent clothes to wear. When they come up and beg, they say "I know you have money, please give me some." The truth is that I don't, and ever since my bank has screwed up my last two deposits, I have no money whatsoever and I breaks my heart not only because I cant help them, but because I know I will become one soon, because I won't have a steady income or a place to live by my 18th birthday in september.

I never feel bad when someone doesn't help me, in fact I almost feel bad when people do help me. I don't really need your help, in fact I don't really even need this body. My sinful nature is always seeking comfort, though, as is yours. So really, we're not all that different...some of us just have faith.

This post reminds me of Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky.

As for giving money to the homeless, I don't usually have much to spare, but I'll give if I have something extra. I subscribe to the idea that you can't really judge them in that small timeframe you'll have to "evaluate" them.