Multiple internet searches for variations of:

"Lowering your sperm count"

Only produce results on how to increase your fertility.

SHIT DONKEY FUCK!!!




Suggest some ways one could reduce his sperm count.

Methods?
Foods?
Supplements or vitamins?
Herbal supplements?
Drinks?

I heard placing your balls in a bowl of near-scalding hot water works. I forgot exactly where I heard it though...

Love, Swibbles

Lowering your sperm count has no purpose whatsoever.

It only takes one to get a girl pregnant, so there'll always be a chance no matter how low it is.

And then, they might not be there when you need them.

Just use a condom.

What about prescription medications? Are there any medications which cause a drop in sperm count or sperm quality or which can cause infertility?

You can always get your tubes tied. I think thats reversible...

-Radiation from nuclear blast, cell phones etc
-Vascectomy
-Cutting off your balls
-Extreme heat or cold
-Jerk off first, then fuck
-I would imagine various drugs would kill them. Alcohol maybe?
-Mountain dew? Its a popular myth anyway. It must be somewhat true.

Wear breifs instead of boxers.

Or else look out for Mike Henry when he has his overalls and wig on.

I remember hearing that it's possible to get it reversed within a couple of weeks, although the reversal doesn't always work. So it may be a good idea if you go make a couple deposits in the sperm bank before hand, just incase you decide ya want to have kids some day.

-I would imagine various drugs would kill them. Alcohol maybe?

I think there's a whole world full of practical experience that would hint otherwise.

Weed will reduce the count, but very slightly... Nicotine molecules attach themselves to sperm cells, handicapping them, but that's all I can think of.

I agree with whoever said that there is no contraceptive value to lowering your sperm count.

However, if you are just in this for the fun of it, listen closey:
1) Take fisherman's knife.
2) Lose the clothes.
3) Tie legs so that they are suspended in a spread position, this will stop them reflexively crossing to protect the goods.
4)Take scrotum in off-hand, cupping underhanded and holding out from body.
5)Place knife where scrotum joins body and slash downwards. Best to do this in one quick motion.
6)Scream for a bit. Bleed a shitload. Possibly die. Wish you'd never followed this guide.

Cheers!

Jack off a shitload.
Eat less zinc.
Thats about it.

Smoke loads of green.

Fact.

I have one word for you: Castration.

But I'm assuming this is at least a semi-srs thread. According to something I read once, exposure to pesticides can reduce fertility in men. Although, that was a while ago, and my memory is a wee bit fuzzy. Or less seriously, you could always go for the ol' baseball bat method.

That's awfull.
I really hope you dont use any of those methods as birth controll, because you'll get horribly owned.


Thread Starter, why exactly do you want to lower your sperm count?

Other threads by I Molest Sheep:

When you fuck your girlfriend up her ass either while she is taking a shit or after she has finished taking a shit and did not wipe? In essence using the feces as lubrication for your shit pole pussy fucker. There was also another term or phrase for when you shoot your load in your girlfriends shit filled asshole but I don't remember it. Chocolate sundae with whipped creme topping? Or is that the phrase the gays use?

For the past four years prior to having sex with my girlfriend I soak my balls (using a bowl) in near scalding hot water for seven to ten minutes.

Each and every time we fuck which is on average six to seven times a week I shoot my shit in her pussy hole and she never once has gotten pregnant.

Could it be possible I have discovered a new form of male birth control?!

Over the course of my past four girlfriends I have developed an interesting sexual fetish which I cannot quite place my finger on and determine why things are the way they are and what could have facilitated this interest.

The first girlfriend had IBS and would fart frequently.

Soon I began to realize that I was sexually stimulated by her farts.

This then progressed by being in the bathroom with her while she was taking a shit or frequently masturbating by the door as long as I could get a good whiff of the stank.

My interest was directly responsible for the first two out of the three breakups.

Finally I found a girlfriend who will let me sit in the bathroom with her while she shits and play with myself. Sometimes she sucks my cock while she is shitting and we always fuck right after she has finished shitting. Sometimes she will sit on my bare chest while totally naked and fart which sends shock waves through out my entire body.

If I loose her I will be devastated.

Therefore I need to get my fetish under control just in case we break up.

Any suggestions on how I should go about doing that?


Either he's really into scat, retarded, trolling, or all of the above.

Either he's really into scat, retarded, trolling, or all of the above.

Thanks for that.
If he persists with this sort of thread, I'll start to close them.

But you never know, he may be stupid enough not to know what a condom is, so I'll leave this open just incase we can give him some valuable advice that he'll remember forever, thus earning totse a place in his heart.

Thanks for that.
If he persists with this sort of thread, I'll start to close them.

But you never know, he may be stupid enough not to know what a condom is, so I'll leave this open just incase we can give him some valuable advice that he'll remember forever, thus earning totse a place in his heart.

I never got any valuable advice that I'll remember forever, yet totse has a special place in my heart...

Smoke

I agree with whoever said that there is no contraceptive value to lowering your sperm count.

I strongly disagree. Technically speaking there is considerable (subjective) contraceptive value to lowering sperm count and sperm mobility; however, there is no consumer market for it which is why it essentially does not exist.

If there were no contraceptive value in lowering your sperm count why would there be a medicinal branch of practice which specializes in increasing sperm count and or sperm mobility for couples who want to conceive but cannot due to low sperm count and or poor sperm mobility?

Albeit only one sperm can cause conception; statically speaking the more sperm present and of high mobility there is increased likelihood that pregnancy will occur.

Are you not more likely to win the lotto if you purchase one hundred tickets versus one ticket?

Smoke weed.


Otherwise

1) Cut balls off
2) Sell balls
3) ????
4) Profit!

Smoke weed.


Otherwise

1) Cut balls off
2) Sell balls
3) Weep because you just cut off and proceeded to sell your testicles
4) ????
5) Profit!

fixed.

and, as a possible addition, delete totse account. because if you cut your balls off, you will not hear the end of it. you think HTS-Noob had it bad? just wait.

Methylene Chloride can cause spontaneous abortions. Don't know if that helps at all....

-Mountain dew? Its a popular myth anyway. It must be somewhat true.

ive heard that to. supposofly has to due with liek yellow dye #6 or something like that

Boil your balls.

menthol cigs and i heard if u smoke to much weed ur sperm just swim round in circles and bump into each other ???MYTH mabey

Teacher told us some tribe used that as a natural way of controling births in their village throughout the ages, thing is the guys there went to some hot springs everyday about 2-3 times... for threemonths, and then they could fuck, so it does take time.

ive heard that to. supposofly has to due with liek yellow dye #6 or something like that

It's yellow #5, and no, there is no grain of truth to it. My sperm count attests to it, and if it were true, i would have negative sperm count and random females would become unexplainably infertile.

the myth started with some tropical drink that was popular with the afro-american community, and some thought due to the popularity it was some super secret CIA plot to make black people infertile through said drink.

And due to MD (praise be to thee) having the same colouring as that drink (yellow #5) the meme transferred aswell.

Wear tighty-whiteys and smoke alot of pot and no mountain dew dose nothing if it did it wold never sell and be banned.

-Mountain dew? Its a popular myth anyway. It must be somewhat true.


http://www.snopes.com/medical/potables/mountaindew.asp

If you're male and drink a lot of Mountain Dew, you will notice one related but perfectly harmless side effect: quite a bit of yellow liquid will flow out of your penis.

Heh.

I wonder what effect Mountain Dew Code Red would have?

Step 1:Punch yourself in the dick.
Step 2: Repeat until testicles turn black and/or fall off.

Heh.

I wonder what effect Mountain Dew Code Red would have?

nothing,nothing at all.

No no no you guys have got it all wrong...you have to submerge your balls in boiling Mountain Dew!

http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=020315