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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1

2007-06-30, 02:59
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Athiests as a majority
This is what it would be like if the majority of people were athiests:
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
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# 2

2007-06-30, 03:10
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Re: Athiests as a majority
LOL that was funny. Did you find this in one of those Christian propaganda pamphlets?? I'm almost crying it's so funny hahahaha.
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# 3

2007-06-30, 03:11
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Those 'athiests' sound like funny people. Atleast they're not making fun of atheists, not that it would offend me.
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# 4

2007-06-30, 03:26
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Regular
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http://tinyurl.com/28ozhm
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Atheism is not absence of morals.
It is absence of God.
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# 5

2007-06-30, 03:28
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Most ignorant thread of the day.
Congratulations.
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# 6

2007-06-30, 03:42
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Nah he got it exactly right. Gay men are become a very trendy living room ornament
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# 7

2007-06-30, 07:46
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Re: Athiests as a majority
ok pal...first off
1)bieng an athiest does not dictate that one has an absence of care for life,,,it just means theres an absence of god in your belief of life
2) thats a bit extremist what you said,and sounds very alien like to be described in any family life,,,a mother wouldnt change if she was athiest,she actually might want her son to smoke pot to an even less degree since she be more open to exploring what certain habits contribute to one health,and an willingness to question the pros and cons
3) you sir are the epitome of a ignoraneous
and o and i tip my hat off to you,i hope one day i can match the maturity that youve exampled -_-
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# 8

2007-07-01, 03:16
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Regular
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01
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
Originally Posted by devilsadvocate
ok pal...first off
1)bieng an athiest does not dictate that one has an absence of care for life,,,it just means theres an absence of god in your belief of life
2) thats a bit extremist what you said,and sounds very alien like to be described in any family life,,,a mother wouldnt change if she was athiest,she actually might want her son to smoke pot to an even less degree since she be more open to exploring what certain habits contribute to one health,and an willingness to question the pros and cons
3) you sir are the epitome of a ignoraneous
and o and i tip my hat off to you,i hope one day i can match the maturity that youve exampled -_-
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iawtc
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# 9

2007-07-01, 03:25
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Re: Athiests as a majority
The original poster probably got this off http://www.fstdt.com/ (Fundies Say the Darndest Things) or may be the original author.
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# 10

2007-07-01, 05:07
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Regular
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Canada
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Are all believers of faith this naive or is this one an abnormality?
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#11
 2007-07-01, 05:37
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Unfortunatley the world is moving towards that direction. :(
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#12
 2007-07-01, 10:23
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AsylumSeaker 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Sounds like paradise!
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#13
 2007-07-01, 13:25
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Re: Athiests as a majority
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
Well, so long as he wears a rubber, why not?
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
Well, it's NOT...
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
And they don't!
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
Homie knows where it's at.
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Homosexual men; the ultimate living room decoration!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
I only get this excited when my neighbour runs in and tells me that there's a car accident at the end of the street.
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
Wait a minute...
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
Happy Endings 
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#14
 2007-07-02, 22:13
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hojadepapel 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 23
Atheism is not absence of morals.
It is absence of God.
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Fucking win.
PS I think I just ejaculated while reading that over.
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#15
 2007-07-02, 22:39
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Irregular 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Pilsu
Nah he got it exactly right. Gay men are become a very trendy living room ornament
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rofl.
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#16
 2007-07-03, 02:25
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socratic 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Since when did religion disallow narcotics? Jesus was MAKING booze. John was taking Wormwood out the wazoo.
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#17
 2007-07-03, 04:14
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FunkyZombie 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
I want to be offended but it's so over the top I can't take it seriously even though I know there are people who believe that shit.
It's like people who believe Jews have horns. The insult is counterbalanced by the sheer ridiculous jaw dropping stupidity being displayed.
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#18
 2007-07-03, 05:13
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Fucking win.
PS I think I just ejaculated while reading that over.
I think you've unintentionally proven the OP's point. :)
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#19
 2007-07-03, 23:42
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socratic 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
I think you've unintentionally proven the OP's point. :)
I think you've unintentionally proven you have no sense of humour.
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#20
 2007-07-04, 00:47
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Re: Athiests as a majority
it's a joke for the lulz, so lulz up
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#21
 2007-07-04, 05:00
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 23
Atheism is not absence of morals.
It is absence of God.
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That's all that needs to be said.
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#22
 2007-07-04, 05:13
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shitty wok 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
http://romaine.home.pipeline.com/pics/cat/jpgs/Cat-shame-Img_0660.jpg
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#23
 2007-07-05, 05:57
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zik 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 23
Atheism is not absence of morals.
It is absence of God.
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True, but you shouldn't stop there. Once realizing that there isn't a God, you should begin to question morals. Why continue to think in black and white once you've discovered color?
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#24
 2007-07-05, 06:57
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vagabondtramp 
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Re: Athiests as a majority
am i the only one who thinks, without the burning of people on the cross, that this wouldn't be so bad?
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#25
 2007-07-05, 07:01
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zik 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vagabondtramp
am i the only one who thinks, without the burning of people on the cross, that this wouldn't be so bad?
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You're not alone, and I don't even mind the burning of the people on crosses all that much.
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#26
 2007-07-05, 07:06
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vagabondtramp 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
You're not alone, and I don't even mind the burning of the people on crosses all that much.
yeah, but you know people. once they run out of christians, they'll start burning everyone else:D
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#27
 2007-07-05, 07:37
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niggersexual 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
This is the best, jajaja. Completely true!
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#28
 2007-07-05, 21:24
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Sententiae 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
This is what it would be like if the majority of people were christians:
CHRISTIAN KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a another choir girl so she can go the school for the knocked up.
CHRISTIAN MOM: Okay, son.
CHRISTIAN KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
CHRISTIAN MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The CHRISTIAN kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
CHRISTIAN DAD: Hey!
CHRISTIAN MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just have another baby we can't afford so it can suffer and then be an added burden on the adoption system when we get rid of it.
CHRISTIAN DAD: Okay, have as many retarded babies as you want.
CHRISTIAN MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
CHRISTIAN DAD: Why not?
CHRISTIAN MOM: There's a priest in there molesting our 4 daughters
CHRISTIAN DAD: Why are they here?
CHRISTIAN MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
CHRISTIAN DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
CHRISTIAN NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a ATHEIST outside!
CHRISTIAN MOM: We'll be right there!
The christian couple quickly put on a pair of white robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where ANY NON-CHRISTIAN is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of CHRISTIANS stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM CHRISTIAN: Damn you, ATHEIST! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we CHRISTIANS are hypocritical like that! Die, ATHEIST!
THE END
Funny how if you just change the names, it's the same damn scenario. And why do only atheists smoke pot? I know plenty of christians who do, since there's no prohibition against it. Seems kinda silly to me to throw that in there. Hell, our president did alot worse than that, and we all know how down with God he is.
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#29
 2007-07-06, 01:56
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Regular
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Utah: Mountains, Mormons, Meth
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Re: Athiests as a majority
^^^ lol, Christians w/ white hoods FTW!
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#30
 2007-07-06, 22:04
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niggersexual 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
The Christian one wasn't funny at all. The Christian stereotypes are so tired that they really aren't funny. In fact, pretty much all stereotypes aren't very funny.
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#31
 2007-07-08, 04:39
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random_jew 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by vagabondtramp
am i the only one who thinks, without the burning of people on the cross, that this wouldn't be so bad?
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So you approve of two guys fucking in your living room...
I wanna watch you get outta this one.
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#32
 2007-07-08, 07:11
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karma_sleeper 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KikoSanchez
it's a joke for the lulz, so lulz up
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srsly feel the lulz within you.
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#33
 2007-07-08, 07:38
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vagabondtramp 
Regular
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Re: Athiests as a majority
So you approve of two guys fucking in your living room...
I wanna watch you get outta this one.
not me personally, but if someone wanted to watch two guys fucking in their own house, i couldn't really give two shits. it's not hurting anyone if the husband doesn't mind it either.
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