But thinking about doing something and actually doing it are entirely different things.

You can fantasize about having sex with your cousin all you want, but you never will because she's your cousin, and it's looked down upon by modern society. Alcohol would stop those pesky ideas like 'morality' from showing up, and allow you to at least grab your cousins ass.

You can fantasize about having sex with your cousin all you want, but you never will because she's your cousin, and it's looked down upon by modern society. .

Not round here, mate.

"you want to sleep with yer sister then you marry her ,boy, and do it all legal like, y'hear"

I wouldn't consider Totse modern society, we're more like the guys who watch modern society on tv every wednesday at nine and think about what a nice place it would be to live in.

You were drunk. So you dont really have a leg to stand on, especially if you didnt tell him 'no' or tell him to stop in any way.
Get yourself tested, hope your birth controll was effective, and cary on with life.

Well, even if you don't tell the cops, you should at least talk to the guy about it. If he was drunk, or even if he wasn't, he might even regret it happening as much as you did. Getting on with your life is all well and good, but you should close this chapter before moving onto the next, as I say.

That doesnt even remotely resemble rape to me. It sounds like you got drunk and whored yourself out and regretted it afterwards.

Secondly, if you're not willing to press charges, you weren't raped. There are a lot of women that will argue that it's understandable for a girl to be afraid or not want to relive the trauma. In reality, thats bullshit. By not pressing charges against a rapist, you give him lisence to do the same to someone else. You enable him to hurt others. And if you dont care enough about what happened to prevent it from happening to someone else, then you dont deserve to call it rape.

The second paragraph is more of a general purpose view on rape. The first one pretty much sums up my thoughts on your individual case.

And before anyone tries to call me a cold hearted bastard, I hate rape more then anything. The thought of it makes me physically sick. But that doesn't blind me to the truth, and I don't invent evil where there is none.

You made some bad choices, and you didn't care enough to stand up for yourself, however drunk you may have been. I don't believe alchohol is an excuse for anything.

Yeah. At orientation, they proposed this scenario, more or less, and instead of "talking about what we could do to prevent this," we got into an argument about whether shit like this is rape.
Anyways, my point is that I agree with your stance on rape.

HAHAHA...YES!

This sounds like you had sex with him, and now you regret it, so you're going to call rape. I can already see that it isn't true. It was so horrible, but you didn't say no.

Did he say 'surprise?' because if he did, it isn't rape, it's surprise sex.

if you know he is a good person and you don't want to mess up his life maybe you should try talking to him before anyone else. explain how you felt/feel and that you felt it wasn't entirely consensual.

I roffled.

On a semi-SRS note, they might as well add clauses like that in legal books, since it does come down to what people say (or claim to say).

Imagine that though, "Lawl, it wasn't rape, it was just surprise seks! Dismissed."

I was rapped at 13 and didn't tell anyone until I was so far gone in my views of myself and the world that there was little I thought about other than numbing myself with drugs and alcohol and cutting. I think in order to get yourself the treatment you need to put it behind you then you need to tell someone and try and get help to move past it. If I would of done that I don't think I would have reached the level where the police are escorting me to the mental ward sort of phase that i was at.