Ok I know Totse well enough to say that quite a few of the replies to this will be utter cack, trolling or dick jokes. But mixed in there will be some good advice and probably some entertainment.

Firstly - I haven't had a girlfriend yet so I'm not sure how to deal with all this stuff. I'm older than I should be (think early 20s) and obviously not having been out with anyone at my age attracts a fair bit of abuse online. I expect that, being my age without g/f is sad and lame and it shouldn't have happened but there it is and I'm trying to solve it.

Heres the deal. About a year ago now I started chatting on MSN to a girl I met on a forum. She lives in Belgium, me in England. We chatted often, most nights in fact, sometimes for up to five hours per night.

I started to fancy her. Or rather, fancy her online persona. We exchanged pics, I complimented hers. We had our ups and downs over the year, we each had our own problems during the time. I got her something she really wanted for Christmas and she was delighted. We seemed to really click online and would talk for hours and hours about complete rubbish. I kinda fell for her online persona, thinking she was the nicest girl I've ever known.

Eventually we decided to meet. I wanted to see her for obvious reasons, she seemed to want to meet me too, not sure tho if that was just for friendship or something more.

So I did it. I bit the bullet and booked flights & hotel. I stressed out for weeks beforehand, knowing I'd meet her finally. The day came round and I had the flight over there.

We finally met, big meeting with an "OMG so good to see you" and a big hug.

Details of the weekend are irrelevant, suffice to say we did a lot of touristy stuff, had a great laugh but nothing happened between us. I didn't get any obvious vibes from her, but then she told me beforehand that shes always been quite shy. I didn't give out obvious vibes, for two reasons. 1) Through plain and simple lack of experience and 2) I wouldn't have tried anything what with it being a first visit and all. She would be too important to me to waste on a quick one night stand. Boy would she be more important to me than THAT.

Not all good news though.. I did meet a friend of hers to seemed to me to have all the hallmarks of a potential boyfriend. She's been single for several years and although they weren't all over each other, I could kinda tell there was some mutual fancying going on.

All in all, I was amazed to discover that her real-life persona was even nicer than her Internet persona. Didn't think that possible. Also, the pictures she sent me didn't do her justice. She is GORGEOUS in real life. My god. Overall, she is without a shadow of a doubt the nicest girl I've ever known by miles. I compare every girl Ive met since to her and they don't come anywhere close to her on the scale.

Anyway, holiday over, I came home. Now the weirdness has started. She seems very distant now. What used to be five hour conversations now seem to be 10 minute quick hellos. Emails back and forth have dried up. I know shes had a lot of work to do at college, but that wouldn't account for all the lack of communication. Its weird. I don't want to accuse her of ignoring me, but something definitely has changed. I don't know what. Did I not live up to her expectations or is it something else?

I know the usual advice with Long Distance relationships. "Don't bother, they're too much trouble." I agree. I'd much rather meet a nice girl where I live, but I know for a fact I'm never gonna meet another girl like her and I doubt I'll ever find one as nice as her.

Anyone any thoughts on all this? How to proceed? Do I have the remotest of chances with her or is it a complete pipe dream? I'm kinda reluctant to lose her as a friend too, even though I'd far rather have a relationship with her.

I dunno. Any thoughts or advice or a different perspective would be appreciated.



Short version -

Met a girl on the Internet, got on really well, really fancy her. Met up, had a good time, nothing happened, now REALLY fancy her. Since I've got home she seems very distant and I need advice on how to continue.

1. Have her visit you now.
2. Make her cook dinner.
3. ????
4. Profit!


Mixed in there is some good advice and entertainment, like you wished.

Fuck her. Not literally, she sounds like a total bitch. Everything was all nice and dandy over the internet, but once she saw you and met you the cunt probably thought she could do better, so she's brushing you off.

But, you know, she doesn't want to think that she is an evil bitch so she's naturally going to try to gradually stop talking to you, thinking that is somehow more pleasant and nice than completely cutting you out.

If she is truly as hot as you say, she probably already has a big ego, and you weren't the cocky asshole to complement that, so naturally she didn't dig you in the flesh.

Best of luck to you, go find a nice local girl that isn't a total slut(hard to find, but still try).

There was this girl i liked in school in grade 9 and i started talkign to her on msn, we grew to be great friends and i stopped thinking of her that way because shes better as a friend. As we grew older we could hang out togther more in person and those conversations were much better, alot like wiht ur case. But then on msn we dont even talk anymore. I think its because the comparison to the computer u and hte real life u isn't even close so its like having quality and stepping down to bargain deals. (if that makes sense) Basically its like shes lost interest compared to u in real life. You may be screwed because u cant see her often.

just tell her this? what you just typed? ask her why she stopped talking as much and if you didnt meet her standards or what not and if thats why she stopped talking, etc etc. i mean, just ask her on msn, you seem like you too are quite comfortable talking on there. so just pop the question 1st thing 1st.