so my little brother came up to my dad and said quote on quote "daddy, how do you 'get a girl in bed'?"
so my dad looks strait at me thinking me overheard me saying it (which probly happened), and sais "ask you mother"
(keep in mind my dad is in a room close to me, my mom is in teh kitchen, and im in the hallway)
so he goes over, and im thinking "i gatta see this"... bad idea. he asks her, and she sais "by love and kisses", so he sais "how do you kiss?" and there is an awkward pause, then..
"ask your brother"
so i told him i'd tell him tomorow... how do i answer this? the kid is like, 5, and if i dont answer i'll get in trouble, and if i answer too detailed, i'll get in trouble, and if i answer not enuf, i'll get in trouble...

help?

show him a porno vid, like a soft core one and say thats how you get a girl in bed.

or show him the completely wrong thing and make your brother completely messed up like some guy giving another guy a blow job, thats how you kiss.

the possibilities....

...some guy giving another guy a blow job...

1: im NEVER buying that kinda tape. EVER.
2: that would get me fukked over moar

just go to www.spankwire.com or www.grayvee.com or something.. those are really good free porn sites too, lol.

Or you could always kiss him or something. lol.

just go to www.spankwire.com (http://www.spankwire.com) or www.grayvee.com (http://www.grayvee.com) or something.. those are really good free porn sites too, lol.

Or you could always kiss him or something. lol.
i'd just rather explain it. how would you? would you go into over-detail or just the simple peck on the lips?

tell him the only thing he needs to know is that perfect angle to strike in at with the chlorofoam rag.

i'd just rather explain it. how would you? would you go into over-detail or just the simple peck on the lips?

Go into over-detail. Tell him he has to lock lips, and jam his tongue in as far as possible.

make him kiss his mom and then he knows.

plain, simple, and easy.

Well first of all, you could explain to him that as a 5 year old, he really doesn't need to be getting girls into bed.

hes old enough, kirk! i mean, why not...!

Just turn on some shitty teen drama and let him watch.

Tell him you have to kiss a girl and..... by this time he should be running around shouting ewwwww :) Problem solved.

-[[Hidden secrets]]-

1: im NEVER buying that kinda tape. EVER.
2: that would get me fukked over moar

Wow highlighted text. Dont see that on totse often.

ok ive decicded on over-detail. should i add in every once and again the words "soft" and "warm"?

tell him money and liquor get girls in bed. It's simpler that way.

just go to www.spankwire.com or www.grayvee.com or something.. those are really good free porn sites too, lol.



Good links! Thankyou.


Thread starter, tell the kid to go ask his parents again. And if they get pissed with you, tell them to fuck off!
He's THEIR kid, it's THEIR fucking responsibility to educate him adequately, not yours!

just tell him this. "you kiss a girl when you really like her and you're sure she likes you. to kiss all you do is put your lips on her lips"

then give him a demostration on your own hand. just a real quick peck.

or show him the completely wrong thing and make your brother completely messed up like some guy giving another guy a blow job, thats how you kiss.

the possibilities....

haha, this reminded me of an experiment i thought would be interesting. teach kids completely wrong words for things. like tell them an apple is called "syphilis." so one day at lunch they'd say "i'll trade you my syphilis for your granola bar" or something.

but anyways, just tell him something thats vague like "you put your mouths together and move around a little." if he asks how you move, tell him he'll know when it's time, and ask him why he's asking so many questions.

"Mommy! Mommy! I gave syphillus to my teacher today!"

The possibilities! :D

or tell him that the bed is a vagina, and that sleeping is fucking, so when asked "where were you last night?" and he'll say "fucking on my vagina"

lol say its when you try to eat another persons face, kinda true anyway

he doesn't know what a kiss is hes fucking five, your parents probly kiss him on the cheek or something, if you've never kissed him before just do that, kiss him on the cheek and say THATS HOW YOU GET GIRLS

hes only five, he'll never remember and if he does he'll figure out it's harmless and commend you on your ability to come up with smart solutions, but itll really be me getting the credit because im so cool

tell him to ask his father
the vicious cycle begins

or tell him that the bed is a vagina, and that sleeping is fucking, so when asked "where were you last night?" and he'll say "fucking on my vagina"

what if you never taught a kid colors? you just never said a color around him and never let him learn them. how weird life would be for him...

Show him a video like Red Light District 2 ----recomended for effect :)
or
tell him girls are the source of cooties

Either way probelm solved

Am I the only one here suspecting that the OP is just asking how to kiss while trying to make it sound like he knows?

chlorofoam rag.


PERFECT plan, HIGH FIVE

Go into detail but after tell him that when people say "kiss my ass" they mean it literally and he should do as he's told.

lulz.

ok, so you guys didnt really help at all, cuz i wasnt gunna go out and buy/rent a gay porno, so i said, "you kiss a girl when you really like her and you know she likes you back (quote from one of teh ppl. thanks). its basicaly just putting your lips on her lips and--"
i got that far and then he ran out of the room like "EWWW".


problem solved. thanks guys:)

LOL