on a serious note, i have quite an issue:

So, i have this half chinese half vietnamese girlfriend and we've been dating for 1 year and 3 months just about, and her parents absolutly hate me, and she's not aloud to date, (yet we're 16?) her parents say "no dating until after college, and after, only asian men" .

So, we had to keep our dating under secret from her family memebers who are 1 and 3 years older than us for the 1st two months of our relationship, and after those two months her oldest sister found out and told her mom and dad, and now has been grounded for over a year, and i mean grounded as in: no phone, no computer, no going places, only school activities, friends cant come over, she cant go over to friends.

And now basically, i'm her only friend because of her isolation, and i love her to death, but she's quite sick of her family, and anytime she's in a bad mood or something, her parents somehow blame it on me? but basically her parents have just about ruined her life and scrapped away every friend she has, and she's been living in pure total boredem of hell, any one asian, or any person have an opinion on what to do?

She's a sweet girl, she's not one to *even talk back* and uh, we're still virgins, we're good kids and have morals, we both have over 3.2GPAs and so, it's not like we're bad kids or anything and her parents are that protective, so? what the hell can we do to see eachother, or get her ungrounded?

No, i will not kill her parents (i know some one will say that) anf if your wondering how we see eachother, she only lives 5 miles away and i run cross country and marathons, so i just tell my parents im going for a run and ill just sit outside her house somedays talking to her through the window, and one time i even snuck in and spent the night when her parents were there.

0.o? fuckin a?

no, i will not kill her parents (i know some one will say that)

Aw, maaaan.... :(

I'm going to move this to S&A so you don't just get "uhhh, buttseks" as answers.


Entheogenic

Ah shit, I've been teleported along with this thread!

Bump this is actually an issue, though some fuck will say this is best suited to S&A and that you should change the title to this thread to one that concerns the subject matter. And that's pretty true as you've got a bit of an issue here I would say.

I believe it to be a pretty fucken bad situation for ya, I don't know if that's against her "rights" and I'm not entirely sure how close it is, but it sure as shit is against everything that western morality stand for. Too bad she's an asian minor. and I don't mean to suggest she immigrated to America to test her fate in the pursual of riches in the gold rush.
I think theres an age which may very well be 16 at which you can file for emancipation, but you need good grounds (exceptional circumstances), lots of money, and to be disowned by your family for the rest of your life.
And It's a safe enough probability to say that she wouldn't want to see her olds clean gone.
They do seem like utter cunts though, the kind of people that can't mentally leave their motherland behind and get onto the fucking footpath. (sidewalk) If I were more than a demi-god I would smite them.

Suggestion: neither murder nor suicide. You could walk away from this, you're only 16 and such. But I don't want to give you that advice as I know for a motherfucking fact that at 16 being forcibly seperated from someone you love is hard, but when you choose to leave it's even harder.
No, you'd just end up getting depressed and consuming meth. Poor advice.

Take a page that many totseans wouldn't take (there are some that would). Discuss this with your parents or some peers who are at least 18.
So what you can do. Post on an internet forum or something. Maybe even one that specialises in free speech and has a whole host of forums including Sex and Affection.

If all else fails you could dispath some ninja's to molotov everything / poison her parents slowly with a substance in such a way that they'd die eventually from the levels of said substance building up in their bodies, but if they stopped consuming it they would go into cardiac arrest. I'm sure there's plenty out there.

Fuck I really can't be bothered putting in the effort to think at 4:14 monday Morning.

EDIT: Maybe you could fuck with her parents Warcraft until they let her go.

EDIT: 2 buy some neoprene and some of that hot melt rubber johnny latex stuff. The one that gargantuan bendy dildo's are made out of. Learn the fuck how to sew, or better yet give the materials to this girl and let her sew up the fake flesh inside neoprene sacks as if she were making sporting goods at 12 cents an hour.
Her parents will just think she's reverting, being a traditionalist, and taking pride in their past national sport.
But what the case will really be is that she will be assembling a fat suit, slowly but surely with enough makeup to cover seams, until the day that it's so big that she can climb out of it and escape and her parents will be none the wiser that their daughter is not attached to that enormous pancake bellied blob of pudge.

No, that won't work either since she has to go to school. Fuck.

Bump this is actually an issue, though some fuck will say this is best suited to S&A and that you should change the title to this thread to one that concerns the subject matter. And that's pretty true as you've got a bit of an issue here I would say.

I believe it to be pretty bad, I don't know if that's against your "rights" but I'd say it's pretty close. Too bad she's a minor.

Though I think theres an age which may very well be 16 at which you can file for emancipation, but you need good grounds, lots of money, and to be disowned by your family for the rest of your life.

They seem like utter cunts though, the kind of people that can't leave their motherland behind and get onto the fucking footpath. (sidewalk)

Suggestion: neither murder no suicide. You could walk away from this, you're only 16 and such. But I don't want to give you that advice as I know for a motherfucking fact that at 16 being forcibly seperated from someone you love is hard, but when you choose to leave it's even harder.
No, you'd just end up getting depressed and consuming meth. Poor advice.

Take a page that many totseans wouldn't take (there are some that would). Discuss this with your parents or some peers who are at least 18.

If all else fails you could dispath some ninja's to molotov everything / poison her parents slowly with a substance in such a way that they'd die eventually from the levels of said substance building up in their bodies, but if they stopped consuming it they would go into cardiac arrest. I'm sure there's plenty out there.

Fuck I really can't be bothered putting in the effort to think at 4:14 monday Morning.

lol, and leaving her is out of the question. =P she's my best friend, and was before we went out. and we really dont have any friends besides eachother, the only other person who i hang out w/ lives across the street. =P so we just dont go anywhere to hang out. so uh yeah, leaving her isnt a solution either x.x =/

What else is there to do? Hang tough - keep working to get through to her parents and do your best to support your girl. Consider this a test of your relationship. You shouldn't have to worry about this kind of crap at 16, but I think you'll come out learning something from this conflict.

When she turns 18/graduates high school, you will have more options available to you.

well of course im going to just wait through it id that's all we can do, but we're not even 17, so if she was to move out right now, she could just get a ticket and what not. we dont want to see eachother just to fuck off or anything, we just want to hang out? we've only been to the movies twice together, and that's it, we couldnt even go to the homecoming dance or regency this year. =/ so does any1 have suggestions on how to get her out of her house? -.- she hates the way she lives, but we cant do anything about it, because what her parents are doing isnt illegal, but it sure as hell seems like torture to me? never talking to anyone not having anyfriends, yeah. idk, i want to find out some way to help her?

Try sitting down with her and her parents and have a discussion. See if you can compromise. Tell them what you've told us and have her explain to her parents that they are not helping her situation. Maybe they'll see you for a decent fellow and they'll be less strict.

Either that, or have her rebel against her parents. :D

she's too much of a sweet nice kinda girl to rebel,
and her parents hate me, and im white, they dont like people who arnt asian, they basically want to kill me, (literaly) because they think im some badass white kid who's making their daughter a bad person? (wtf?) so i cant sit down with them and talk, and not to mention, they dont speak english... =/

awww, please some one come up w/ an idea? ) '=

they dont speak english... =/
Learn Chinese or Vietnamese (whichever they speak). Then point out how grossly racist they are for not "allowing" their daughter to date a decent white man such as yourself. Tell them their racism dishonors their entire family ("traditional" Azns like them are really big into "honor" and shit like that), and that in America, women may date whomever they like. Assure them that once their daughter is an adult, she will be yours. If they are willing to shun their own daughter over such a thing, tell them it will only make them look like fools and racists.

Don't kiss up to these people for shit. Let them know you're calling the shots, not them; and in time they will lose. RAWR!

Learn Chinese or Vietnamese (whichever they speak). Then point out how grossly racist they are for not "allowing" their daughter to date a decent white man such as yourself. Tell them their racism dishonors their entire family ("traditional" Azns like them are really big into "honor" and shit like that), and that in America, women may date whomever they like. Assure them that once their daughter is an adult, she will be yours. If they are willing to shun their own daughter over such a thing, tell them it will only make them look like fools and racists.

Don't kiss up to these people for shit. Let them know you're calling the shots, not them; and in time they will lose. RAWR!

x.x even if i did learn vietnamese and chinese, im sure her family would kidnap me and use some chinese torturing methods on me just for the hell of it. 0.o d'oh.
but, yeah, her parents are all high up on that family honor thing, and they think by dating me, (a white kid) im bringing shame to them and their asian culture. and if i ever said anything to her parents, i know for a fact they would hit her or something, which i would never ever want...because i know her mom slapped her one time for giving me a hug goodbye after school. =/ but it wasnt hard enough to bruise so she couldnt be accused for abuse or anything...i mean, what her parents are doing is just on the border line of illegal, past ridiculous, and almost purely pyscho. -.- her parents arnt doing anything against the law... -.- so we couldnt file a law suit and have her live w/ me or anything, and she cant move out until another year, and if she did move out, who would pay for her college, she's smart and already has a minor scholarship because of her being an honor graduate so far and a texas scholar and good SAT scores and high GPA, but its not enough, and my parents are already paying for my college and my brothers, so. yup. still, any idea on what the hell to do just to get her out of the house in any possible way? i mean, even just to go to starbucks to talk and shit. -.- =/ ?

Make up a fake "Young Asian Success Club" or something. Then, have her join it. While her parents think she's going there, you can see her. It might seem like a bad idea at first, but I bet the parents would believe it was real if you made up flyers and programs.

Send them a letter from some BS oriental religious group, saying how everyone is created equal, and basically make the main message that racists are evil and damned to hell. They will hopefully see their ways as wrong, and change them.

I doubt that will work, but you really don't have too many options at this point.

that actually sounds like a good idea, except, you see, her dad is kinda on the paranoid freakshow side, and he umm, yeah, for example. even when she wasnt grounded, before we were dating, her dad would follow her to places, like if she went to the movies, he would come in late and buy a ticket and just walk in to see where she was sitting and make sure there are no guys with their group. so if i ever got her into a place or something, and even had a bunch of asians to come or something, her parents would be there walking around to make sure no guy would talk to her. (sounds unbelievable right?)

That makes me really sad. :(

I know it's tradition and all, but fucking up your kids social life and banning them from seeing someone you dont approve of just seems crap.



I'd suggest sitting down with the parents and calmly explaining your feelings.
Dont criticise them or get angry, just explain how much you love and respect each other and how happy you make each other, ect.


If you've tried that approach and they still fucking refuse to show any respect for their daughers happiness or wellbeing, you may well have to think again.

How long before she could legally move out in the country you're in?

That makes me really sad. :(

I know it's tradition and all, but fucking up your kids social life and banning them from seeing someone they dont approve of just seems crap.



I'd suggest sitting down with the parents and calmly explaining your feelings.
Dont criticise them or get angry, just explain how much you love and respect each other and how happy you make each other, ect.


If you've tried that approach and they still fucking refuse to show any respect for their daughers happiness or wellbeing, you may well have to think again.

How long before she could legally move out in the country you're in?

we're both 16. and i cant exactly talk to her parents, someone that before, and her parents dont speak english...and frobid me to go anywhere near their house...

oh, and legally 1 year, when we're 17 (live in texas) but she wants to go to college and crap, and my family couldnt support paying for my college, hers, and my brothers. so. =/ meh.

This is a tough one, but I think that the solution to this one doesn't involve you. Shes the one that has to solve this problem.

She should have a sit down talk with her parents, and expressively tell them how she feels. I'm not talking about "I don't want to be grounded any longer". She has to tell her parents what she is probably telling you. Tell her that she needs to have a LONG talk with her parents, and make sure you mention that she should cry somewhere during that conversation. It sounds really weird, but when parents see their child crying, alarms go off in their heads.

If that doesn't work, shes either going to have to live with it (bad idea), sneak out at nights (good idea), or have to grow some balls and be a rebel.

when there is like school dance or events, both of you get hugely involved and boom! she's helping with school stuff and they have to let her go and let her out to organise

heh, with the sneak out part, w/ her being grounded ( and early how i said talking through her window?) we use to juse talk w/ the window open, but her dad taped it up because her little sister (who's 6) never mentioned her before, told her older sister i came over and talked to her recently. and so, she cant sneak out. and the front door, they have an alarm, and she doesnt know the code, and when she crys, because of course she's so lonely and has no friends and gets so bored and what not, her parents will at her and say if she wasnt dating me she wouldnt have stuff to cry over. ( such as they think i make her cry over drama or something or what not?) so it wont set off any alarms in their heads sadly. =/ and she has tried to talk to them before, and asked super nicely to go to 6 flags w/ me and my FAMILY before, and she just got yelled at. -.-

her parents wouldnt let her go to the dances...we didnt even get to go to homecoming, n wasnt even aloud to go to the homecoming football game. -.-

Ok, I'm brilliant. I just thought of a good one.

Have her tell her parents that she joined cross country and she needs to go running during the summer to practice for it. They HAVE to let her out of the house for that one. And if you tell me they have a fucking treadmill, then I'm out of ideas =\

she does run cross country. =D
cept her mom brings her late on purpose, and comes early, like right when we're done running, as in, i get in just enough time to walk over to her and say i love you and walk away. and btw, she does have a treadmill....lmao. i didnt bring up the CC thing because well, already an idea we tried. =P lol.

yey! i just had like an 8 minute convo w/ her on aim too ^.^ that made my day.seeee?

me (5:27:12 PM): ASIAA?
me(5:27:43 PM): what are you doing on? =D
her (5:28:20 PM): i wanna talk to u
me(5:28:25 PM): ( =
me(5:28:28 PM): ur parents?
her (5:28:29 PM): home
me (5:28:35 PM): uhh
me (5:28:36 PM): where?
her(5:28:43 PM): outside
me(5:28:47 PM): arnt u gonna get in trouble?
me(5:28:48 PM): ohh
me(5:28:49 PM): kk
her(5:28:47 PM): and my mom living room
me (5:28:50 PM): ( =
her (5:28:53 PM): whaaa?
me (5:29:01 PM): u better not get in trouble!
me(5:29:02 PM): >=O
me (5:29:06 PM): but i loooove you. ( =
her(5:29:09 PM): i love you too
her(5:29:10 PM): =]
me (5:30:10 PM): *muahhh* ^.^
her(5:30:23 PM): muahhh
me (5:30:34 PM): how has ur day been? ( =
her(5:30:43 PM): boring
me (5:30:54 PM): zomg, mine too. -.-
me(5:31:09 PM): ive stared at a blank computer screen w/ aim up for an hour
me(5:31:24 PM): lol
me(5:31:31 PM): and b4 that. i drove to home depot to get a light...and before that. more blank starring.
me(5:31:36 PM): for hours...
me(5:31:57 PM): hey you.
me(5:32:01 PM): i love you.
her(5:32:48 PM): i love you
me(5:33:07 PM): how long can u talk for? =D
me(5:33:10 PM): forever? ( =
her(5:33:17 PM): never
her(5:33:18 PM): lol
her(5:33:23 PM): i gotta go
me(5:33:29 PM): nooo
me(5:33:30 PM): nooo
me(5:33:31 PM): nooo
me(5:33:35 PM): hmph.
me(5:33:38 PM): ihu.
me(5:33:45 PM): but will you marry me? ( =
her(5:33:45 PM): yup
her (5:33:46 PM): =]
her(5:33:48 PM): byeeee
me(5:33:55 PM): byyye baby lover dover!
me(5:33:53 PM): i love you soooooo muchhh
me(5:34:03 PM): i hope you haaave a great unboring night!
me(5:34:13 PM): and dont suffer the starring into space drama like me 0.o
her(5:34:17 PM): haha.
her (5:34:17 PM): u to0
her(5:34:20 PM): i looooove you babyyyy
me (5:34:18 PM): lol
me (5:34:19 PM): bye
her (5:34:23 PM): i love youuu
her (5:34:22 PM): i love you soo much
me (5:34:30 PM): i loooooooooove youuuuu sooooo muuuuch! ( =
me(5:34:33 PM): *muahhh*
signed off at 5:34:38 PM.
is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
me(5:34:51 PM): what are you doing?
her(5:34:52 PM): i lveo yu
me(5:34:56 PM): hah.
her(5:34:55 PM): i love you*
me(5:35:00 PM): really?
me(5:35:00 PM): =P
her(5:34:58 PM): i love you
her(5:35:02 PM): =]
me (5:35:06 PM): i love you too baby. ( =
me(5:35:04 PM): i love youuu
me(5:35:06 PM): bye
me(5:35:11 PM): *muahh*
her(5:35:11 PM): muahh
me(5:35:15 PM): your so great. ( =
her(5:35:14 PM): i loveee you
me(5:35:17 PM): i love you so much<3
me(5:35:22 PM): good niiiight baby!
her(5:35:23 PM): i love you so much too
her(5:35:23 PM): bye
me(5:35:30 PM): byye! ( = *muah*
signed off at 5:35:33 PM.
is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.


so that's basically a days worth of conversation for us. just incase your wondering. lol

Not much you CAN do until she turns 18.

Ok, I don't know why I keep posting ideas, but fuck, they just keep coming.

I did this 2 years ago to my parents when they were being over-protective asshats. One day while they were out, I wrote a note telling them that I would be gone for two days and that I wouldn't be coming home at all until the third day. I told them that they were over-protective and that nothing bad would happen to me on my own.

For the next two days, I just chilled with my friends and got really fucked up. Came back on the third day, and had a talk with my parents, and they chilled out a bit. I was grounded for like a week..but a week is so short when you really think about it.

Its worth a shot.

Come on, they're asians. If she did that, they'd probably kill and eat her when she came back home.

lol. yeah, they would probably literaly kill her... and the place she has to go is my house, she has no friends because her isolation, and i just talked to her on the phone for 3 minutes. =O this is considered a good day in getting to talk to her. lol.

It's verging on the edge of abuse, what they're doing is seriously fucking wrong!

What country are you in?

America, Live in Dallas, Texas.

usually i wouldn't say this but
you have to tell a authority figure
at the moment they are holding all the cards
alone you have nothing
an authority figure can force them to listen under threat of prosecution
it probably won't come to that but it will open up a communication line and hopefully work things out

but her parents arnt doing anything illegal. =/
heh. ive looked up the abuse laws even for my city. that's nothing on what they're doing. =/ -.-

If you really care for her, win her parents. Ask to take them out to dinner, and convince them that you're worthy even if you aren't asian. Go to their house daily and offer to help them with everything from mowing the lawn to repairing the roof. Basically, make it impossible for them to hate you.

=/ once again, they dont speak english and scold when they even see me and would chase me away w/ a knife or something of that sort.

but her parents arnt doing anything illegal. =/
heh. ive looked up the abuse laws even for my city. that's nothing on what they're doing. =/ -.-

where did you look
internet, library, etc
a few hours flicking through law texts won't help
besides just because its legal doesn't make its right
its fucked up
its fucked up because you know its fucked up
and she knows its fucked up
and i know its fucked up
and the CPS know its fucked up

State law requires anybody who believes that a child has been abused or neglected to make a report to the Child Protective Services (CPS) program of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) or to a law enforcement agency. The law requires CPS to investigate reports of child abuse or neglect for the primary purpose of protecting children.

now i know that you think this is abuse so by law you have to report it and they have to investigate
here's a link
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child_Protective_Services/reportabuse.asp

You should appeal to the mother's sense of romanticism w/ some quaint "asian culture" shit, like go to the pavement opposite their house and draw a picture of your GF with flower petals. or some shit like that. I don't know.


edit: or you could wait for the father to chase you with a knife and then best him in physical combat, and be like FINISH HIM! and then let him live. You will have his eternal debt for sure.

where did you look
internet, library, etc
a few hours flicking through law texts won't help
besides just because its legal doesn't make its right
its fucked up
its fucked up because you know its fucked up
and she knows its fucked up
and i know its fucked up
and the CPS know its fucked up

now i know that you think this is abuse so by law you have to report it and they have to investigate
here's a link
http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Protection/About_Child_Protective_Services/reportabuse.asp

nope, just looked at the DFW laws on abuse, and looked to see what was considered abuse, and it's not pyschical or verbal abuse, because they dont cuss at her or bring her down w/ words, and they dont like smack her around or anything? and also, i really couldnt bring it to the officials if i wanted to, she wont get into college w/o her parents... -.-

lolz to the edit. =P

=/ once again, they dont speak english and scold when they even see me and would chase me away w/ a knife or something of that sort.

Well, you could always knock their socks off by learning chinese or whatever language.

Well, you could always knock their socks off by learning chinese or whatever language.

hm, possibly, her mom is a little bit open minded than her dad, and if i just learn some simple words in chinese and get my g/f to teach her, and just say hello, and good morning to her mom at cross coutnry or something? im sure she'd like that. and i was thinking, her mom would totally like me more if i gave her little sister some flowers from china. (she's 6) so no freaky ideas, her little sister is cool and knows me and everything because when i use to run over to her house, she'd always been in the room w/ my g/f n we'd just talk n wut not. n if i made her little sister all happy? idk? because her lil sis sometimes goes to CC practice too. =P worth a shot ig?

wtf that was the most gayest convo ive ever seen lol i loove u =] wtf gays

your just jealous your not as lame and desperate to hang out w/ my g/f as you are. 0.o

Her parents are fucked up, but you two both suck for staying in a relationship that's obviously destroying her life. And don't say any of that bullshit "BUT I LOVE HER" crap. YOU are the reason her parents have turned her into a hostage. It probably would have happened with any other lame white guy, but it happens to be you. Therefore, your fault. You're the catalyst for the psychotic asians. Fucking asians.... god dammit.

Break up with her, make her parents happy, let her enjoy her high school years and stop being a selfish douchebag.

lol, no, she doesnt want me to break up w/ her, and her parents could care less, they're under the impression thatll she'll just get another guy, and i will give you the but i love her crap if we're both apprently staying in this relationship and just being in this is better than not having it at all. so you my friend are an ignorant, arrogant, souless person just about. so either way no matter what i do the situation would stay the same whether we were together or not, so id rather stay together, and me ruin her life? i think not. so go rethink this situation over and fuck yourself while your at it.

lol, troll.

are you talking about me?

are you talking about me?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

you called someone a troll?

you deleted you post -.- bastard. lol.

"So, i have this half chinese half vietnamese girlfriend"

whats the difference?

"and after those two months her oldest sister found out and told her mom and dad, and now has been grounded for over a year"

what a bitch, kill her


"any one asian, or any person have an opinion on what to do? "

yes im asisan and so are alot of my friends, my parents arent strict at all, but my 2 of my good friends parents always used to give him a hard time, tell your girlfriend to get some balls maybe and just lash out, do waht she wants. at first the parents might freak but eventually theyll get broken in, usually works but from what you say her parents sound like psychos, so use your judgement i guess... dont want her getting kicked out or anything. or do you...

"we both have over 3.2GPAs"

i thought you two were 16

we are 16? lol. its in highschool. not college, but we take the same classes and dohave 2 history college credits. =P but im sure no one cares. anyways,
her parents would NOT kick her out, just make her life more miserable at home. they are pyschos, (almost) and dont get me wrong, which i think ive given this impression, they ARE caring parents, they just dont understand how to handle situations? and if she got kicked out, she'd just live with me. which id be okay w/ that. but we both plan on going to college, and my family couldnt support 3 paying people to go to college on. -.-

nope, just looked at the DFW laws on abuse, and looked to see what was considered abuse, and it's not pyschical or verbal abuse, because they dont cuss at her or bring her down w/ words, and they dont like smack her around or anything? and also, i really couldnt bring it to the officials if i wanted to, she wont get into college w/o her parents... -.-

what reference are you using
if its a website a link would be nice
i can't believe there's no law against psychological abuse

we are 16? lol. its in highschool. not college, but we take the same classes and dohave 2 history college credits. =P but im sure no one cares. anyways,
her parents would NOT kick her out, just make her life more miserable at home. they are pyschos, (almost) and dont get me wrong, which i think ive given this impression, they ARE caring parents, they just dont understand how to handle situations? and if she got kicked out, she'd just live with me. which id be okay w/ that. but we both plan on going to college, and my family couldnt support 3 paying people to go to college on. -.-

So start working and saving. duh. You probably wont even have to make enough for college, if the parents see you are both working and willing to turn your backs on them they will probably see sense and stop being ass clowns.