Man I havent posted a question here in a long time. I never thought I would need advice again about relationships, but look whos here

Anyways, trying to be quick: dated a great girl for 9 months. I started to take her for granted, started not to care about certain things that she cared about, and I didnt listen to her when she told me all of this stuff like 100 times or more, and I didnt change anything.

We broke up about two weeks ago, but we still acted like we were together (spent time together, made love, the whole ordeal). She heard that I was holding hands with a girl and she flipped and geeked out.

Important fact: She has been hearing things about me that simply arent true, for the past 5 months about different girls, how I fuck them and try to be with them. When she heard this about me holding hands with ths girl, this was all she could take and wanted a break, even tho we technically werent together. This is where I am at. I told her I dont want to take a break because they dont fix things, and I would rather break up completely for good than take a week or so break. After some arguing, she told me to have fun with my other girls, and that none of them would love me as much as she does.

What do I do? That is the very last thing she has said to me via sms (I was working). Do I take it as a complete break up and move on, or do I give her time by herself and see how it works out? Thanks guys and gals for your time.

Well you said yourself you dont fix things. Be happy you got out of the relationship so easy, next time you might not be so lucky. Even if you did get back otgether with her she could always hold the past against you and give you a hard time. Leave it as it is.

Its all down to you mate, just sit down and think about how much she means to you, would you be contempt with loosing her? If not, then realise that she means alot to you, tell her so, tell her about what you are going to change, that no other girl can measure up to her.. [blah..blah..]

And then she will [hopefully] tell you how much she likes you in return and then you are both good.

The only problem with this plan is that if you realise that you do actually 'love' her and you try to get back with her and she doesnt want it, then you are going to get hurt...

Good luck mate, hopefully you do the right thing for both of you :)

WERE you holding hands with another girl? You didnt deny that bit.

WERE you holding hands with another girl? You didnt deny that bit.

so what if he was? if you were dating a guy for 9 months and saw him holding hands with a girl you wouldnt think anything of it..
I hold girls hands all the time, they are just friends and holding hands is great :) even having my arm around them doesnt really mean much (in my opinion) i think the girl should trust him tbh...

so what if he was? if you were dating a guy for 9 months and saw him holding hands with a girl you wouldnt think anything of it..
I hold girls hands all the time, they are just friends and holding hands is great :) even having my arm around them doesnt really mean much (in my opinion) i think the girl should trust him tbh...

That's fucked up.

You hold hands with your girlfriend, and perhaps your frail old lady auntie if need be.
OTher than that, no, just fucking no.

No, I absolutely was not holding hands with any other girl.

She has heard so many bad, untrue things from girls that want to be with me its borderline insane. She would hear from 3-10 different things a month about me, like I kissed this girl or I fucked this girl or I was dating this girl or I had a threesome with these girls, shit like that.

Should I leave her alone for a while, then talk to her, or should I try to start talking to her again? This just happened yesterday, and it hasnt been a full 24 hrs that we havent had contact yet.

Thanks for the replies.

Why would you tell her you would rather break up for good than go on a break if obviously that's not what you're thinking?
Tell her the absolute truth. Unless you can do that, I think it sounds like she deserves better.

Do you really want to be with someone who'd beleive every stupid bullshit rumour she hears..?


Your call. You could try to make things work with someone who doesent trust you, at all, and listens to the words of idiots instead of yours, and who seems to be looking for an excuse to end things.

Or you could get out now before she seriously fucks you up and look for a better girl who wont listen to all the inane rumours she hears.

ok this is what u do:D

u have to break up completely wit her....your a free man...if she said have fun with your other girls then do what she said...there r many more fish in da sea.....

orrrrrrrrrr... if u still luv her then u need to give her bout a week by herself and do sometin sweet:p

So you said you weren't exactly the perfect boyfriend while things were OK. You were slipping up, probably a lack of motivation. Maybe slight boredom, or you were just too used to your life.

So you have the choice. End it or fix it.

End it, well thats obvious. Complete cut, not even friends.

Fix it. Tell her the truth, promise that things will be the way they were during the early stages of your relationship and stick to it

Funny thing there my friend, I'm in a veery similar situation. Basically everything except for the rumours/lies things.

I'm in a relationship that seems more and more boring after 9 months. I put less and less effort into it. Do I love the girl? Most certainly. But things aren't exciting, we aren't nearly as sexual as we've been and... It feels like we've been together for way more than 9 months.

Now the problem is, does one break up, or do I stay in this slightly dull relationship, with a girl I love? We have more and more fights, but it seems it seems our relationship just doesn't wanna die.

This is what I did recently...

Once the break up has happened and you cut all contact with her, you feel like shit. But use the time alone wisely. Sit back and think about what you are supposed to have done wrong, look at the choices you made with her and how you could have done things better and think about how, given the chance, you'd make things really different for the better.

Then hope all it takes is some cooling down on her part and that you might get another chance.

Hope that helps and hope you're doing alright.

Now the problem is, does one break up, or do I stay in this slightly dull relationship, with a girl I love? We have more and more fights, but it seems it seems our relationship just doesn't wanna die.

If you really love her, find a way to make it fun. Did somebody say furry jumpsuits?

Haha, I had the same thing. Dumped her though. Don't do it. 9 months is a lot to put into a relationship and to walk away with nothing when you still wanted something is shattering. Take her to a carnival and win something for her. Haha, chicks love that shit, she'll be all over you like the days when you were first working that stuff out.

In response to the OP, I'd buy her some flowers and haul ass round to her place. Show up, and work things out. But give her just enough time so that she still misses you and isn't into the, "I hate that fucking jerk" stage yet. Gotta be careful.

That's if she still wants you and you still want her.

That's fucked up.

You hold hands with your girlfriend, and perhaps your frail old lady auntie if need be.
OTher than that, no, just fucking no.

Why not?
Is holding hands to intimate for you to handle? ;)
lol i seriously cant see a problem with it.. me and my friends (girls) just always do it, always have done..
Explain to me whats wrong with it? :S

Well she messaged me last night at work and brought up some more shit that I did, but wasnt a big deal. I picked some girl FRIEND of mine up from a party and took her home. She txted me and said "good job not even picking up your friend a few weeks ago". I told her I did pick her up. She then txt back "whatever. there always is some excuse or answer". I said NO FUCKING SHIT there is an excuse because you are freaking out over nothing I told you I picked the girl up and I took her home. Evidently the girl told my girl that I didnt pick her up. No idea why it even matters.

Then she said "I hope you are happy with your decision of breaking it off, you will never find a brunette headed silk like me" (brunette headed silk is a name I called her somtimes).

Last chance before I make a move.

1. Give her time alone without contact
2. Give her indefinite time off without contact (break off 100% for good)
3. Tell her right now that I want to be with her and fix my wrongdoings?

Thanks to everyone who replied so far you guys and gals have definitely helped me out.

3, its obvious that you have feelings for her somewhere, otherwise you wouldnt be on here asking us whether we thing its the right thing to do or not.

Just a bit of advice mate, try to fix it while you still have the chance, if you loose her then you will never be able to get it back to how you want it, at least give it a chance and if it doesnt work then at least you know you gave it your all and it just wasnt meant to be.
You will regret letting her go when you do. Just think for yourself what to do, only you know what the right thing to do is, only you can make that decision..:(