I'll start this thread by saying i'm a tad drunk (seven or so beers... so not trashed, you get the idea) so this may get long.

I really really really like this girl... we've fucked twice (with her, i've came for the first time in 10 months while having sex). She frequently calls me when she's with her friends, which I take to be a good sign. She's amazing: intelligent (though she won't admit it), creative, sweet, and has a higher sex drive than myself.

Here's the thing: she's a dancer. She does ballet. But, she hates the way it limits her. She's an incredibly talented dancer, and that's the only reason she dances. She eats very little to keep light for dancing. Before, she used to do a LOT of coke to drun on empty. Now, she's become basically an alcoholic (she was since I met her) so that she can run on empty. She has almost zero self esteem and so let's people use her... she's used to it and doesn't really have an issue with it. Yet, because of this, she has no self respect.

Why? Her parents are fucke: her mom doesn't connect with her at all (except as an authoritarian figure) and her dad is an alcoholic (he cares, but can't do anything for her) and they are finally getting divorced. Which is a good thing for her, i suppose.

Here's my issue: I am a little bit infatuated with her, and I want to help her... But I feel like she doesn't want my help--and I highly doubt that I could rally help her that much. I'm fucked up myself... The best I could do was let her know that I wouldn't abandon her (last time we fucked, i cuddled with her for like 4 hours because she wanted me to stay despite the fact that I was almost grounded because I came home at 845 in the morning [i talked my way out of that])

So this is my issue: should I abandon ship, try to help her (which I know would be the most painful and long path), or let it be an enjoyable and throughly sexual summer fling? I mean, I feel like she deserves someone who can make her feel like she's a worthwhile human being, but I don't know that she wants that...

HELP!

Do your best to make her feel respected.
While you're doing that, give and recieve all the sex you can. It'd be in your best interest to try and help her feel loved/respected, but dont come across as a nazi, especially if shes ok with the way she is now.

If you can live with yourself just using her for sex and as a fling while she suffers... Well, good luck with that. But trying to help people is a bit iffy sometimes. If you help them get over all their shit they get mighty attatched sometimes, and then, if the get really clingy and you want out, they go back to all their old shit.

Sometimes.

Other times, you can help people you'll both be better for it and live happily ever after.

In your circumstances I would ask myself whether I can let such an amazing girl pass me by and forget all about her, or I really want her in my life. If the answer is yes, I'd help her out, or at least try.

Let her sort her own shit out, you're not her fucking pschiatrist.

Most girls deal with their shit alone, there's no reason why she should be so fucking special.

Sometimes yoyobek, you are a little bitter.

Everybody needs to feel some human connection. Sure, she has to make her own decisions about her life, but it's never wrong to be there for her, and let her know that you're willing to talk to her about anything she wants to talk about, and let her know you love and respect her no matter what.

Kirk, that advice seems really solid. And I refuse to use her for sex.

Does that mean that you refuse to have sex with her, or you refuse to let it be solely about sex?

Theres no way you can fix a broken person. You'll never get her self esteem up, you'll never be able to overcome her drug addictions, and you'll never be able to change her lifestyle.

She's obviously not ready for a relationship of any kind, until -she- decides to put things in order, most likely with professional help. In the meantime, you can either milk it for all its worth and forget about the relationship bit, or just move on and support her as much as you can as a friend.

i really just skimmed it until that last paragraph or so when you asked what you should do...i read from then on.

anyways, stick w/ her.

do what you can to help her out, and while it may not see to you likey ou're doing much to help her out, it means the world to her...

do what you can to help her out, and while it may not see to you likey ou're doing much to help her out, it means the world to her...

I hope it does... I want her to realize how great she really is.

And of course i don't refuse to have sex with her, but I refuse to let our relationship be solely sex.

I thought you were a girl generitcwittyblahblah

I'm confused now. Either way that girl needs to grow the fuck up. Ballet's stupid and ruins peoples self esteem. If she's been through alcoholism and had a mean bitch for a mom she should be a lot stronger than she is. Don't tell her not to drink, express your disgust for her drinking in your own way. Bring up shit about her past while she's drinking and the liquor'll start tasting a lot worse. Give her some stability in her life.

A pic would be good too.

What matters is that you know her deep dark secret, and you still want her.