Ok, so i need some tips, advice and whatever else on HOW to have anal sex. the methods, even a step by step guide would be excellent. We are two absoluete beginners. I have watched porn on how to do it but just end up masturbating.

Any tips?

Well, unless your partner is used to this sort of thing (by the sound of it, no) I wouldn't jump straight into ass fucking. You're probably going to want to loosen him/her up a fair bit first with fingers and then move up I guess.

Use loads of lube, and always wear a condom when you're going in the ass.

Loads of lube.

And maybe a fist?

Don't know if that helped. Or if you actually wanted:

1. Get naked.
2. Lube and 'dom up.
3. Ram dick in hole.
4. ???????????????

Maybe some things you shouldn't dO?

Lol and its to my gf.

I have heard some pretty nasty stories about cysts n shit from tears.

Things that you should'nt do???

1. Grab penis/strapon.

2. Shove up shit-tunnel.

3. ???

4. Shake dude's hand with a smile.

5. PROFIT!!!

Some people like things like lube 'n condoms. Some people like barebacking raw. Presuming you can understand the concept of STDs (or, the concept of "damn, my ass is raw"), you and your partner can make whatever decisions seem right to your situation...

...but... "shove pokey thing up poop-hole" is about as simple as it gets, and there's just about all there is to it. Nothin' really to explain...

Mmmm... Use lube. Trust me.

She won't walk properly even if you use loads of lube, it's going to hurt.

Slit her sphincter first. With a razor blade. There will be blood but it will be waaay better.

On a serious note, stick something up your ass, hard. That's how it'll feel for her.

That is a good advice. Once I fucked my girl in her asshole without protection and a couple of days later my dick was getting some red dots all over the head. They didn't itch or anything but it was damn weird....

Here's the best tip you'll ever get regarding anal sex:

DONT

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oh man +1

I'd just get some lube (plain stuff, none of that 'tingling sensations or warming KY jelly shit... asses are sensitive)

Go down on her, and get her off once. use lube + finger on butt if you want. It will get her used to something going in there.

Go really slow. Keep checking with her and making sure that what you are doing feels OK. I would ask her before going faster, then go a bit faster. Keep doing that.

For cleanliness' sake, don't go ass to mouth.