Hi I'm new to totse and I want to learn how to get laid. I'm 19 and I've never talked to females my age.

Just hang out in the local alley and when females walk by just give them the sex.

You are smarter than a chicken

Stick penis into ass

Well, you at least found the one forum on Totse with a high concentration of females.

Just get a bunch of fake jewelry and stuff your crotch and they'll all come running.

Well, sex is the single most important thing in life. So I could understand why you would want to have it. But unfortunately you havent talked to any females your age. Which means your shy, not confident, and probably very ugly. Bearing similar resemblance to a creature that would have emerged if Shrek and a Hunchback were to mate. Therefore, your seed is not worthy of spreading. Give up all hopes of sex and begin working hard manual labor in poorly lit scarcely trafficked areas.

If you do have any highly attractive females you have been keeping your eye. Simply post their location and details, and I will personally look into getting then some great A-Grade quality fallopian fertilizer.

Any other questions can be forwarded to a brick wall. Again, in a poorly lit scarcely trafficked area.

If the answer was a specific pattern of steps, we would get you laid in no time. Unfortunately, getting laid requires an ample amount of testosterone, whit, and confidence. It's not about whether or not you "do it right." It's about whether or not you "Do it well." You can screw up and roll with it and have it be twenty times better than if you ensure a step system takes place.

Example: Missing a movie on a date.
You: "Hey, fuck this movie. I know this great place outside of town where we can see the stars. I do want to get to know you, after all."

Take her outside of town to a field and stare at the stars. Make up constellations if she doesn't know anything about stars. If she does point out well known ones.

The point is to remain calm, confident, and fun. Don't look like a psycho in school. Dress well and carry yourself well. Don't give off Dahmer vibes and you'll do fine. Don't go out with the intention of getting laid and you'll probably get laid. The trick is moderation and the idea that it'll be fun either way. Just remember your out on the town with a broad while everyone else is holding their dicks.

If that doesn't work: it's not rape, it's suprise sex.

It's just that all other females my age that's into my hobby (dungeons and dragons) are all terrifyingly hideous and I avoid them. I mean last time I went to a d&d convention, I can swear that the females there are more masculine than the males.

It's just that all other females my age that's into my hobby (dungeons and dragons) are all terrifyingly hideous and I avoid them. I mean last time I went to a d&d convention, I can swear that the females there are more masculine than the males.

Dude, if you play D&D just give up.

Dude, if you play D&D just give up.
he still has a chance to find a +3 to charisma black wizards hat.

Dude, if you play D&D just give up.

but I'm not completely hideous but whenever I try to talk to a female I start getting nervous like anything you've ever seen and when I get nervous I get alot of spit in my mouth so when I say something, it goes into their face. Then they run away from me :(

Maybe if you weren't 19, and playing fuckin' D&D.

but I'm not completely hideous but whenever I try to talk to a female I start getting nervous like anything you've ever seen and when I get nervous I get alot of spit in my mouth so when I say something, it goes into their face. Then they run away from me :(

Seriously dude, look at it this way. Every human being fucks or gets fucked unless they die of non-natural causes. Basically, there is someone just as pathetic as you out there. What you need to do is go out and find them. In all seriousness, if you want an "Okay" looking girl, you need to stop playing D&D. I don't make the rules, I just express them.

Or, maybe you need to accept that you're ugly if you are.

but I'm not completely hideous but whenever I try to talk to a female I start getting nervous like anything you've ever seen and when I get nervous I get alot of spit in my mouth so when I say something, it goes into their face. Then they run away from me :(
charisma my friend, keep killing trolls to find that wizard's hat.

but seriously, you just need to learn how to talk and give off good body language.

Seriously dude, look at it this way. Every human being fucks or gets fucked unless they die of non-natural causes. Basically, there is someone just as pathetic as you out there. What you need to do is go out and find them. In all seriousness, if you want an "Okay" looking girl, you need to stop playing D&D. I don't make the rules, I just express them.

Or, maybe you need to accept that you're ugly if you are.

Well if I quit playing d&d then I'll have no friends. I met all my friends playing d&d. I don't want hideous degenerate women. I want 2 get laid by a hawt lady who accepts my inner beauty.

charisma my friend, keep killing trolls to find that wizard's hat.

but seriously, you just need to learn how to talk and give off good body language.

actually I give EXCELLENT body language. I read that females dig eye contact so like when I try to talk to them I stare at their eyes the whole time to make them feel important. Plus, my body is pretty okay now ever since I started that diet program.

Well if I quit playing d&d then I'll have no friends. I met all my friends playing d&d. I don't want hideous degenerate women. I want 2 get laid by a hawt lady who accepts my inner beauty.

Get your friends to do something less gay... like soccer or weight lifting. Seriously, you only live once, you don't want to live in some alternate universe with fake personalities and the only physical reminder you have is some card with points on it. It's fucking sad. Plus if you play soccer many, many hot women will come out of the woodwork.

actually I give EXCELLENT body language. I read that females dig eye contact so like when I try to talk to them I stare at their eyes the whole time to make them feel important. Plus, my body is pretty okay now ever since I started that diet program.
alright, then talk girls more often and talk with confidence. spitting at them is a big "no-no".

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/whiteymoza/virginity.jpg

Ok D&D makes no difference, most of my best friends play D&D almost all of them are extremely geeky yet they all have girlfriends and get laid (A lot!).

D&D will make no difference its just your attitude towards females and life. Also I think this is probably a troll thread.

Hell where do you think I got my username from? I don't play anymore but It never ever made any difference to me, Its just a game.

umm... I know a girl who's pretty goddamn fly who plays D&D religiously (lvl 30-something monk). Her boyfriend is a hardcore spaz, but they're both pretty cool... Lemme see if I can find a picture...

http://i14.tinypic.com/53trhab.jpg

There we go... Bad pic, but 36DD's don't lie.

OMG does she seriously play??? Where does she live?

this thread is obvious fake-bait

^Finally someone catches on LAWL. SA is pretty slow in the head it took 3 pages for someone to notice trolls LAWLAWLAWLAWL

^Finally someone catches on LAWL. SA is pretty slow in the head it took 3 pages for someone to notice trolls LAWLAWLAWLAWL

Saw that shit coming.

Though I expected Bel Air to come in someplace.

^Finally someone catches on LAWL. SA is pretty slow in the head it took 3 pages for someone to notice trolls LAWLAWLAWLAWL

Wait, you think you outsmarted us?

This entire thread was people making fun of you.

Wait, you think you outsmarted us?

This entire thread was people making fun of you.
dont mess with him. he's like the stephen hawkings of psychology.

Wait, you think you outsmarted us?

This entire thread was people making fun of you.

stfu

The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 5 characters.

but I'm not completely hideous but whenever I try to talk to a female I start getting nervous like anything you've ever seen and when I get nervous I get alot of spit in my mouth so when I say something, it goes into their face. Then they run away from me :(

Are you quoting an after-school special?