first off, this is NOT a troll.

it seems every time i masturbate, the next day something really bad or embarrassing happens. if i don't do it one day, nothing happens. WTF?!?!? is God trying to tell me i shouldn't masturbate?!? for example, one day i fell off our porch onto my face. another time, my grandpa dies. anyone have these kinds of experiences?

You're probably just unlucky, or it's sheer coincidence.
I find a similar thing.. every day I wear sexy underwear, I never get laid. When I don't expect it, and wear my horrible undies, I end up with someone else seeing them.

if bad things happened everythime someone jaked off, the world would have ended thousands of years ago

for example, one day i fell off our porch onto my face. another time, my grandpa dies.

So one time you shot your load out the window, onto your porch and slipped on it.

Oh, and getting head from your grandad isnt considered masturbation.

^^^Docta, are you a quack by any chance?

sexy underwear is hard to see for that reason....IT SEXY, and BARELY THERE!

So bad stuff happens when you masturbate?

But...its still worth it right?

I mean cmon, i get all depressed and pissy if I pull a fat wank before school.
But that doesnt stop me!
Actually its an evil circle, because of the pissyness I dont get women and because I dont have women I wank and becuase I wank im unhappy.

So yah, stop wanking

Do what I do, just wear sexy underwear all the time. Or none at all.

i was masterbating once (it was about 1 in the morning) and all the lights were on in my room...

suddenly it all went black, and i thought i was blind.

turns out there was a blackout all over my town, but that really shit me up for untill i looked outside, and vaguly saw all the houses in my road.

^
LMFAO


freeRadical

Nope, I got my doctorate in pointless forum stalking

oh, so you're a totse doctor. which is pretty much the same as a quack.

Oh wow. There appears to be A LOT of new users here. At least, it's what your thing says. How many of you are second accounts? Because this is my new one(The other ones got old).

So yeah, to contribute, stop wanking. Or the world might end. For real.:(

Something weird happened the last time I masturbated too.

I was beatin it as I usually would and all of a sudden all this gooey clearish white shit came out of my dick... is that bad?

only if it burns :p

I masturbated one time... Aids came out the next day :(

HAHAHAHAHAHAH THATS FUCKING GREAT
i cant stop laughing

The only way to figure out if you masturbation is a harbinger of bad luck is tom jack off everyday for a month and see what happens. If you ain't dead, it's all coincidence.

or i could jack off every day for two wees, then not jack off for two weeks and compare the results...

That would only work if really good things happened when you didn't jack off. Since it only seems to be bad luck when you do jack off, that's all you need to see the effect of.

lol, bad things happen all the time, and people jerk off all the time. Its only logical that eventually something bad will happen after you masturbate.

Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.

Maybe you need to do it more often and with someone. Your events aren't related. I masturbate alot but have never thought of it as a negative thing. I love it. and I like doing it with a girl who will talk to me while she is doing it too

no he doesn't. he kills my grandpa. i covered that in the OP.

DUDE!!!! I masturbated the day your Grandfather died too! In fact that's how he died! Swallowed too much...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Correlation_does_not_imply_causation

Karma is a bitch.

ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

FRENZY

Good job, you have found one of the numerous laws that involve, You, Kittens, Masturbation and God.

You can study the whole list here: http://tinyurl.com/2r83mk

This way you will know how all those events are connected to each other.

Good luck.

Haha, same. Except with me it's when I run out of clean boxer shorts and dig up my tiny nuthuggers from when I played rugby.

the days my dick isn't quite at 100%, are the days i usually meet some hot girl :(

HAHAHAHAHAHA that's hilarious.