This could be slightly longer than anticipated.
So I was dating this girl for the last four months. She is an amazing, amazing girl, in my opinion as close to perfect as is possible. We were really good friends for about four years before we started dating. We were the perfect couple, everyone loved us, what could go wrong?
I went to Arkansas for six fucking weeks, that's what went wrong. We both knew I had to go, we both *knew* we could manage without each other for that long. Apparently not.
She was on my mind constantly while I was down there. Unfortunately, I was camping the whole time on the BNR, and therefore unable to call her, but we had both known beforehand that chances of my calling were slim. I made up for this by writing her almost every day, and I gave her all her letters when I got back. Unfortunately, when I got back, everything more or less went down the shitter.
I didn't expect anything to be different, because like I said, we thought we were perfect together.
We were fighting a lot over stupid shit, God only knows what, but it wasn't worth fighting over. A lot of it was my fault, I admit that, but still I was upset. We ended up making up and everything looked up.
I went with her to her prom, we had an amazing time, we both looked amazing, she spent the night at my place, this is where the shit starts.

I drove her home the next morning, because she had some family things to do, she said we would hang out the next day, she would call me.
Long story short, she DIDN'T call me, and we DIDN'T hang out, I waited at home all day for her, without hearing anything. I am unimpressed.
Talking to her the next day, I find out that she stood me up to go on OUR planned date with other people. Not so much as a text to let me know she wasn't hanging out. I am unimpressed, AND very hurt.
I almost forgot the kicker. Later that evening, I see she has been tagged in a picture on facebook. The picture is one of the guys she went out with, holding her in such a way that I thought was reserved explicitly for me. Now I am unimpressed, hurt, and pissed right the fuck off.
We had some big confrontations about all that. Next I find out that she is telling everyone but me that we are broken up. Me being pissed off, I basically tell her I never want to see her again. Not true, but okay.
A couple days laters, she wants me to pick her up from work, she explains everything, etc etc, we decide we want to start over, try again, because face it, we both still love each other. Apparently.
Two days later, she decides she doesn't want to start over, based on something some bitch told her about something I did like three years ago. Well fuck that, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I think I'm done.
Nope. I can't get her out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I lie awake thinking about her all night, and dream about her when I fall asleep. I'm going mad thinking about her, and I am going mad thinking about the possibility of her with some other guy.
Then it happens. She texts me asking how I am, I said been better, she asked what's wrong, and my response was 'I still love you goddammit that's what's wrong'.
Now we are trying to figure it out again. She still loves me too (she says) and because I have known her so long, I am inclined to believe her. We want to start over, but go a little more slowly this time.

I love her so much, and want to be with her so badly, but I am so afraid of having my heart stomped on again.
I'm not going to ask anyone what I should do, because I already have my mind made up, but any thoughts or opinions?

By the way, if you read all that, I appreciate it.

Sounds like she is just as confused as you are, not to mention she might be having some crazy hormonal shit. I've had the same thing happen with girls.

I say go for it. What's the worst that could happen, you break up again?

I read it. I'm sorry. Girls suck.
Will post advice later perhaps.

You're never going to experience anything in life if you hold back merely because you're afraid of getting hurt.
That aside though, girls are just plain looney sometimes. I know, I am one.
:)
You can try talking to her, try to work it out over and over. But I think you (and probably the rest of the teenage population) need to comes to terms with the fact that a break up is not the end of the world, and there are likely other people out there for you.
At this point you're probably saying, I don't want anyone else.
But remember, at this stage of the game, broken hearts heal.

Join the fuckin' heart-break club

I'm sorry my friend, but she's stringing you along. And I'm not saying that in a "I'm a bitter recently dumped loser who's going to become a misogynist because of my own lack of insight" type ways, she probably doesn't even realise she's doing it, but she is.

My advice to you is to let her go. It will be a hard decision but it's the best one to make. If you get back with her, she will dump you again, this will get more drawn out, you will get more stressed. You're just delaying the inevitable. Maybe some day in the far off future when you're matured you'll both decide you were right for each other, but if you look with your brain and not your heart and penis I think you too will see it's not going to last now.

(PS if you do break up with her I can post my crtically acclaimed guide to young breakups:p)

She's not worth it.

You love her - you'll get over it. I'm in a similar situation and looking at it from a third person's viewpoint shows ALOT. Damn, I'm a hypocrite.

I'm sorry my friend, but she's stringing you along. And I'm not saying that in a "I'm a bitter recently dumped loser who's going to become a misogynist because of my own lack of insight" type ways, she probably doesn't even realise she's doing it, but she is.

That's the first thing I thought, although you wrote it better than I ever could. It looks to me as though it's going to keep going on like that: It's on, It's off, It's on etc.

If I were you, I'd move on.

Don't be afraid to get hurt. The worst it can cost you is pride, and pride is cheap when compared to the alternative.

That being said, it sounds like you, perhaps both of you, may be clinging to the past. It might not be a bad idea to move forward.

Making an effort never hurts.

I think one of the reasons I want to get back together, is not only because I love her, but I lost her unfairly, thanks to said douchebag who I saw the picture of her with..... along with some other peoples help.
I am a jealous and possessive motherfucker...... she knows that. She also knows I am slightly insecure about the thought that she might dump me for another guy. She tries (tried) to help me with that, but that picture really does nothing positive for my insecurity.
Even if I did try to move on, I can't just do it. It's impossible..... she was my first, so she will always have an extra special place in my heart.
Unfortunately, I am not sure if I can say she feels the same way about me.

You should just concentrate on spending time together and not spend as much time on msn, texting or on the phone because from my experience thats when arguments happen. just chill out with her at your house or hers watch a film or whatever and make her laugh. But if shes treating you like shit act like you dont care and she'l come running back.

Dude, I feel sorry for you. But you must realize you are the most important person in your life. If someone doen't appreciate what you do for them, quit doing that. Go find another girl - there are billions of them.

(PS if you do break up with her I can post my crtically acclaimed guide to young breakups:p)

Dude, I wouldn't mind seeing that myself. make a thread? please?

Goddammit, that's what all my friends keep telling me to. Voice of reason (my head) says I should listen to them. Stupid pushover me (my heart) says fuck it, I love her and can't help that. I stress so much over this, and when we were dating I stressed out even more. I was constantly worried, and always wondered, is the stress worth it..... and as soon as we were together, it totally was...... but now it feels like unless we get back together, it was all time wasted.

Dude, I wouldn't mind seeing that myself. make a thread? please?

Here you go


Memento's

All that crap you have of hers? Get rid of it. If you can't bear to see her preciously crap poetry and laughable artwork destroyed, get a shoebox, chuck everything - I mean everything – in it, and tape it up. Why tape it up? You'll be far less likely to open it that way.

Ditto for crap on the computer. Maybe chuck all the pictures, email etc. on a CD and shove it in the shoebox as well. At the very least, put it in a folder you won't come across often.

Best case scenario is if you burn it though. Especially if she's been a bitch.

Communication

By all means, get some closure. Let her explain herself, and explain yourself. But after there's nothing new to say, THAT'S IT. Block and delete her from MSN, delete her from your phone, don't visit her...if you share work or study areas change your habits to avoid her. Write some contact details down if you really think you'll forget them and want to talk to her again in the future, but the key is to make it an effort to have to talk to her. By the time you're done adding her number to your cell again you may well realise it's a bad idea to call.

Even though you may be curling up into a foetal position every time some cheesy pop shit she liked comes on the playlist/radio, let her believe you're handling the breakup in a calm, confident manly way by NOT TALKING TO HER FOR ATLEAST A MONTH. Longer if the relationship lasted more than a year.

"But rabbitweed, I miss her a lot and I really think crying into her phone like a little girl at 3am will win her over"

It won't. If you harbour hopes of being with the girl one day...this will just come back to embarrass you, and will turn her right off. If you don't want to be with her again...well, now she has something to tell her girlfriends and laugh about with her new boyfriend.

Freedom

All that shit you've wanted to do but didn't for her sake? Go ahead on do it. Hit on girls you've found hot, move to where you've always wanted to, start university, join the army, get into street fights, have gay sex, take drugs...whatever you withheld for her sake but really wanted to do, do it, or at least consider it. You're free to do that now and don't need her approval for anything.

If she comes crawling back

First off...don't count on it.

Second off, I think it's imperative that you get over someone and have a proper emotional break before you can get back with them again. If the relationship failed, there are generally reasons...and if it's come to this, they can't be solved really easily.

If you've had time apart, you feel you've both really changed...THEN TAKE IT SLOWLY. Even if you rushed together before, proceed cautiously, make sure it's good for both of you before you get invested in her again. Try not to have any pre-conceptions on how it will be based on before either...start afresh.

You need to break with her. Not forever, lord, that's too much for anyone to handle. But for a while. She's used to being without you for a while, understandably. You guys are still in highschool, she needs to know what she does and does not like in a guy. It's confusing, I know, but you don't want your touch to be the only that she knows.

If things go right, all doors lead back to you. If not, well, move along.

If you're so incured, remember: Happiness is a warm gun.

Here you go


Nice, and thanks. I think i'm going to break with my girl soon, I can use the help.

Fuck it. No longer in love. She's refusing to really talk with me, sets dates up with me, to cancel two minutes after I say okay, she's stringing me along, and I am fucking sick of it. What the fucking fuck.
To clarify, I am almost twenty, she is eighteen. She's acting like a fucking grade nine....... and I have known grade nines who were more mature than she is being. She's been in about seven times as many relationships as me, so I would assume she knows what she is doing. Unfortunately, with her experience, she also knows how to be a manipulative bitch.
One thing I failed to mention before, was that I am a pushover. She could do whatever she wants to me, she could walk all over me, and I wouldn't do a thing. But not anymore. I refuse to take her bullshit anymore.
Whatever, I don't care. I'm almost positive I am going crazy anyways.
Fuck it all.

man been havin this similar problem i say just let whut happens happens sometimes u have to fight sometimes u hav to relax. and sometime u have to MAKE stuff happens go with ur gut ur instinct. go on those impulses.:D