After 5 years they are coming to visit me and I'm not really sure what to think. On the one hand it might be good to reconcile and have at least a civil relationship with them...But on the other hand I dislike them immensely and I don't trust them at all. There's a lot of bad feelings between all of us...Like they really resent me for "running away" when I got married and they resent me for dropping out of college and becoming a failure in their eyes. I resent them for pretty much my entire childhood.

So I guess I'm going to spend this week making my house spotless.:P

You should take the family and go on vacation somewhere, just before they're scheduled to show up.

I always wonder about this when I hear about it.

Did you invite them to visit? or did they just call you and say "we're coming to visit"?

Did you invite them to visit? or did they just call you and say "we're coming to visit"?

This is the first question that came to my mind.

This is the first question that came to my mind.

wow that really is a good question....

anyway, they cant be mean to you if your really nice to them...and if they are then fuck them.

Xiao, I just gotta ask......why put in all this effort (emotionally and physcially) towards them? I get tidying the house as you would for any other company coming over, but seriously quit thinking about it. It sounds to me you had rightful resentment towards them, as evidenced by their attitude towards your ADULT actions. Screw em. Not all parents are "good", and many are just outright toxic. Maybe on some level you want to "show them" how nice a life you have made for yourself, but I doubt that will happen because idiots like that always find fault with something. You HAVE made a good life for yourself, and don't you dare let people minimize that in any way, shape or form. Seriously, now that you have kids of your own, you KNOW what being a parent is all about.....and especially what UNCONDITIONAL love is. Unless THEY have come to some life altering epiphany and changed their attitude, I fear it is going to be more of the same ole same ole that you have experienced before. Don't you let them get you down, because you are better than that. Just remember, you ARE a succesful person/wife/mother IN SPITE of their lousy parenting. And that is something you should be extremely proud of, because people that have done a lot worse started out with a lot better than you.

Xiao, if you don't want your parents coming to stay with you, you shouldn't let anything stop you refusing to let them visit. From the sounds of things, you owe them absolutely nothing and you should only see hthem on your own terms. Just bear it in mind, it's your house--your home--and they can't come in unless you want them to.