I have been lonely and sexually frustrated for quite a while.
Here I detail my recent sexual exploits.

Almost two weeks ago for the first time in ages, I got some. We went out to a little venue for a funky good time, me, and my two friends who are together.
But to cut a long story short, I went home with a 37 year old woman, because she tempted me with booze, weed, and loving.
The day before yesterday, us three (me and my m friend and my f friend) went to a well known gay club. I think the guy just went to check his girl didn't run off with me or get raped by dykes.

So we danced and drank and grooved with the drag queens and the dykes. Was fun. I wasn't getting any lady attention, despite my newly shaved head.
At one point, after the drinking, my f friend said "I'm just taking **** into the toilets for a blowjob!" and I asked "Can I come with you?" She kinda shrugged but didn't protest, so I followed them.
When in the cubicle, they start grinding and kissing. I wonder wtf made me offer to watch. They started off being a bit nervous in front of me, but I told them to forget it, I'd seen them both naked.
My female friend is what I would call "heteroflexible" she aint bi, but she is sometimes tempted by women. I have a little thing for her, she is hot.
So they were going slow and in my drunken state I was all like "come on, hurry up!" and I found myself unzipping his trousers and dropping them. He was wearing boxers, and my friend was on the floor. She took out his cock. She licked it, I was pretty close, and asked to be allowed to try some. She agreed, though freaked out.
We kissed a little, but I didn't kiss her man. I also played with her titties a bit. It was kinda sexual in a detatched sort of way..
I crouched down next to her and had a lick. We both started licking, his shaft got all wet, and he was loving it. I sucked it a little.
Sadly there was commotion going on outside, and my female friend musta snapped out of it. She yelled because she had been sat on the wet floor, and ran out. Basically she felt ill and was probably freaked out over what had happened. They went home.
I danced a while longer, and caught the eye of a nice blonde. She came up to me, and broke the ice. We danced, and kissed. Then we sat in a corner and got very touchy feely. I wanted her. She wanted me. She was starting to lick my nipples right there in front of everyone, so I suggested the toilets, seedy as they were.
We kissed each other lots, I freed her breasts from her bra, licking her etc. She wouldn't let me go down on her, as she was on her period or something, but she went down on me, fully. It felt great, but I didn't have time to orgasm in that uncomfortable position, and then her friends came looking for her. She snuck out of the toilets after them.

I have her number, and it was a fun night.
Things might be awkward between me and my friends though, but probably not.
Just thought I'd share that!

p.s After the club, I got talking to some hot polish lady. Her and her boyfriend invited me back to their house, 10 seconds away, so I randomly went with them. Probably a risky thing to do, but they were lovely people, the woman was bisexual, and they played me polish techno!

, but she went down on me, fully. It felt great, but I didn't have time to orgasm in that uncomfortable position,

Uhm I'm not female or a dyke so maybe you could explain what 'fully' go down on someone is?

Surely oral sex is oral sex? Or do you mean she didn't just lick your clit but used her tongue inside you as well?

Well ok, grammar went a bit odd. It's a diallect thing. I don't say it in real life, but when someone "fully" does something it just means they do it for certain, maybe properly or with a bit more enthusiasm.
Plus she was licking and fingering me pretty hard, and was pleasing me properly.