I havn't talked to my Ex for about 8 months. I mean, the only time we comunicated was when she called to tell me the dog I bought her for her birthday died.

Now, personally, I think about her a lot... But it's more like I think about "What if...", then I'll be like "...Too bad she (whatever bad thing that happened)"... and there were a lot. I feel like I'm training myself to not... Well, love her. I mean, she was my (cliche') "first love". Someone told me yesterday that she's been having dreams about me. I didn't ask them to go in to detail because I'm not supposed to care anymore... But it's been sort of eating at me. She has a boyfriend, and they've been dating since pretty much the day after we broke up (also a reason to resent her).

I don't know... I was thinking maybe I should make some sort of attempt to let her know I'm still alive... Or atleast let her know that... Well, she shouldn't feel bad for having those dreams because it's kind of mutual. I mean, even something as small as a Myspace friend invite.

What do you guys think? Break my 8 months... and communicate? Or don't? When I think about it I get a little anxious. I'm not sure why... It's like I expect something to happen... But I know it's not, nor do I even want something to happen. I'm not trying to get back with her, so I don't know what my problem is.

I guess I should say, since our relationship I have moved 650 miles away. So, I've severed "most" of my friendships there.

Sorry if I seem to drift... I just kind of needed to get everything written down, in the same order of my thought process.

What should I do?

Don't go back. I just had a year-and-one-month relationship blow up in my face and I'm telling you man, don't go back. It's not worth reliving the painful experiences (Which are bound to reoccur) You expect for her and you to get back together, and its not going to happen. It might lead to you redeveloping feelings, and if she doesn't share them, it could just lead to even more hurt. If you want to make contact, make it small. Very formal, very casual, and see how it goes from there.

I was going to make it casual... Seems like a good idea.

It's just, because we refuse to talk to each other, it feels like we've just been in one, extremely long, drawn out fight. If I talk to her, casual, show her that I'm done acting like I use to...

Then It might feel like "closure" for the both of us?

...But then again, I have a wierd way of thinking...

BUMP.

I need opinions... Please help.

Why not talk to her? I don't see the harm in it.

Btw, I thought you were a girl..?

Apparently the best way to get over one girl is to sleep with about eight more.

I had a girlfriend, she broke up with me in November 2005 IIRC. She rang me the next day and apologised, begging me to forget about the whole break-up and get back together. I told her we were better off apart. We said we would stay in contact, but I avoided it.

Maybe a year later, she sent me an email asking me to appear online on MSN (something I very rarely do.) We chatted for a while, she confessed her continual love for me without using as many words and I laughed without using "haha" or "lol"

We chatted on and off for a few days, in which time she built up resentment towards me. She told me she wished we hadn't got back in touch, as memories of me were much more pleasent than what I had become.

I had become honest.

Obviously your situation will be different than mine, fatty, but I can't see it being beneficial to yourself of her.

I was going to make it casual... Seems like a good idea.

It's just, because we refuse to talk to each other, it feels like we've just been in one, extremely long, drawn out fight. If I talk to her, casual, show her that I'm done acting like I use to...

Then It might feel like "closure" for the both of us?

...But then again, I have a wierd way of thinking...

I felt the same way, but when I got the 'closure', it just hurt more the next time I thought about her.

I have a weird way of thinking too, don't worry about it. If you think it's worth it, do it. If not... Your choice.

What if for however long she's felt the same, but didn't want to say anything because she had too much pride, or thought it was too far gone and you hated her, or one of a million other reasons?

I went through the exact same thing with my 1st love and to be honest i still think about her.
the only reason i didn't beg her to take me back was finding another girl who seemed better in every way.
im engaged now and i still have the odd what if thought but with me she became too different from me for it to ever work.

my advice would be to talk to her over msn or something but never much more than ”how are you” and to go find some chick who is smarter funnyer nicer sexyer and all around better.
but just remember she wasn't the one for you she broke your heart and from your post doesn't much care.
just do whatever makes you happy but avoid going back to her.

I think you're thinking or firekitty... not fatkitty, heh.

Docta: I see what you mean... but maybe it'll be the same with me regaining my resentment towards her. Maybe that could help?

Ex Deus Machina: I'm not sure if it's worth it, but I'm probably going to try anyway... I think it's just about how long I can hold out until something happens... It'd be real cool to contact her and be like "Hey, I'm right now, by the way." or something a long those lines. Just to seem different, not really to impress.

ZeroMalarki: Good advice for most, but I'm not the type to do that. I like to date the person before I begin shattering her pelvis... Just one of my morals. It did make me lol though, so thanks for that.

+rep to the lot of you.

I went through the exact same thing with my 1st love and to be honest i still think about her.
the only reason i didn't beg her to take me back was finding another girl who seemed better in every way.
im engaged now and i still have the odd what if thought but with me she became too different from me for it to ever work.

my advice would be to talk to her over msn or something but never much more than ”how are you” and to go find some chick who is smarter funnyer nicer sexyer and all around better.
but just remember she wasn't the one for you she broke your heart and from your post doesn't much care.
just do whatever makes you happy but avoid going back to her.

I like this idea a lot better... It's just hard finding someone like that around here...

as strange as this will sound there is someone better just date a couple of chicks not really trying to be serious and if it works out great
and if not you'll have gotten over your ex without even thinking about it and well all be happy again.

I'll update:

I sent her a friend invite, she accepted. She didn't say anything, so I took one of those "take a quiz I made and see how much you know me" quizes, and scored 100%... Above her current boyfriend (whom only scored an 80%, lol).

She still hasn't said anything, so, I think I'm going to leave it at that.

I've been hanging out with these 2 other girls lately, and even though 1 is taken and the other is too craxy to date, it's been great. Just because I'm hanging out with the opposite sex, it feels like I don't care anymore... As weird as that sounds.

Right now I have some piece of mind... and for once things didn't really blow up in my face.

Only regret right now is:

I used Myspace. I hate putting so much thought in to something so trivial...

What do you guys think, I've done enough?

OH, and I'm thinking of going to visit some friends in the area she lives in... Think I should just show up, or make some effort to let her know.

I don't know which one would be worse, not letting her know I'm visiting (after a year) and accidently running in to her... Or telling her I'm coming, and not even bother seeing her.

I'm just not sure what or if I should give her some sort of courtesy towards it.

You're handling it well.