If you truly love someone, shouldn't you understand their position on open relationships? If you love them, shouldn't you be in favor of them doing what is necessary for their journey in life?

Why do I get the feeling you feel the need to screw around and she isn't happy?

It's not cheating if you're in an open relationship.

I'm also of the opinion that it's not love, in the sense of a shared emotion between individuals, if you're in an open relationship.

There is a difference between understanding that your partner wants to sleep with other people and supporting it.

Love is usually to do with monogamous relationships. As Euda said, it would only be the sharing of emotions if it was an open relationship.

If someone loved you enough to be okay with you going out and screwing other people then that would be perfect. Maybe I'd have my guy room by now if that held true.
But what you have to understand that love is reciprocal. Do you love the other person enough to understand and respect their opinions?

The thing is, if you're in a relationship where you feel the need to screw others, would that be love or would it just be shared emotions and convenience?

In my opinion, if you love someone you should be with that person and nobody else.

I agree completely.

This thread presents an interesting point of what it means to love somebody.

If I fell in love with somebody and then they told me they'd like to screw around, I would dump them. It would be hard, but think about it.

It might seem like you are being unloving by not letting them "live their life" or do what makes them happy, but if THEY really loved you they would not cheat/screw around.

Then again, if she was one to like to be with a bunch of guys at once, but didn't out of respect/love for me, I would still dump her. I just wouldn't be able to trust her.

That's my opinion, anyways. Discuss.

It depends on the people. I'm a poly person, I can love someone and date someone else/in addition. This may make perfect sense to you (your probably poly), or seem impossible to you (mono person).

And its just how your wired, as far as I can tell, it shifts over time, but by time were speaking years. If you really loved her, you should be willing to respect her need for monogamy. If she really loved you, and it wouldn't mess her up emotionally then she should go poly / let you poly.

But, chances are if you're asking this here, she would be messed up hardcore, and you prob dont love her enough to respect that.

But if you ever find some poly people and fall in love, its wonderful.

i agree.

Cheating is only cheating if the other in the relationship believes it's cheating, if it hurts them.

I love my girlfriend more than anything, but I wouldn't be happy if she wanted to screw around with other guys. Luckily that's completely contrary to her nature, but it's an illustration. Somebody you're in love with--and who's in love with you--is completely capable of doing something that makes you very uncomfortable.

The above seems odd considering I'm in a kind of poly relationship, but it's a closed, fidelitous (I know that's not a word, but it should be) poly relationship. A V, if anybody knows the terminology. The idea of a sexually open relationship isn't one I like at all (it seems alien, really), and that's a common sentiment amongst people. If it's you who wants the open relationship and she doesn't, it's going to put a horrible strain on your relationship whether or not you actually do it, and the same if it's she who wants one. There's a huge gulf in what love and relationships mean to you both.

I'm single right now, Mr. Ketch. Just thinking about a couple things.

It's usually best to find someone like-minded to love....so you may journey together.

That is excellent advice.

It could be that I'm stretching my imagination a bit, but it truly seems like people who are not extremely jealous or possessive are very hard to find these days.

To find one would be the equivalent of stumbling upon a heap of diamonds in a mountain of pea-gravel.

That is excellent advice.

It could be that I'm stretching my imagination a bit, but it truly seems like people who are not extremely jealous or possessive are very hard to find these days.

To find one would be the equivalent of stumbling upon a heap of diamonds in a mountain of pea-gravel.

I found that I was jealous in my first two relationships, but that's because I had yet to be in one long enough to see my own wants/needs/fantasies develop into anything grand. My latest relationship felt like a damned prison though from the jealousy, and that totally turned me off to envy and 'ownership' ideals. I find that overall, not even just in the romantic sense, I'm not jealous of other people anymore. I suppose I'm just happy with reality.