 Advice on the EX situation? (Long, but please read)
So totse I need a little advice on the situation between my ex and I. I'll give you a little information and the lead up on to whats happening now and why I need advice:
Me and my ex dated for almost 2 years, it was amazing, the perfect relationship, we were so, so in love, I honestly thought I was going to marry her. During the relationship we talked about when we break up that we can see each other seeing other people then getting back together months/years later, our experiences teaching us that we were meant to be together(I know you're all going to say "But if you already know you're going to be together then just stay together!" but the point was to see the world, experience everything else etc).
So in Feb the day came, she said she was confused, she didn't know where she was in life and thought we needed a break. Two weeks in to the break it was over. I was fucking destroyed, and moped for about a month, as did she, we tried to be friends but it kept getting really intense and almost physical everytime we were together, it wasn't a problem with me, I obviously wanted her back, but she kept stopping and leaving whenever we'd almost kiss. So as she'd planned while we were together, she moved to a different city(Was a large contributing factor to breaking up with me, even though I had planned to go with her, but she didn't know until after we'd broken up, I told her I would have gone with her, and had planned to).
She'd been a bit down near the end of the relationship, she really hated the city we lived in, wanted to move out desperately and didn't know where her life was going and all that shit, she thought that moving to another city would fix everything, but alas it did not.
Oh on a side note, she started seeing another guy before she moved up, she always told me how the constantly fought and how she regretted ever getting involved with him and that she fears for her safety if she were to leave him. If I met him I'd gladly beat the shit out of him. What got me even more is that they decided to do the long distance thing after she moved.
So a bit before she left I hooked up with a girl out on the piss and we've been seeing each other since, we're not dating, although she wants to, we're just fucking, and we see each other alot. She told me she would wait until "I was ready" to start dating her, but I don't have any attraction to her, I just enjoy what she provides physically for me, it may be a bastard thing to say but I'm so emotionally exhausted that I have nothing left to care about anyone else at the moment.
Okay, back to my ex, after she moved up I decided "Fuck it all, I'm not going to chase her, call her, text her, or do anything. If I love her, I'll set her free and if she comes back then great, if not then it wasn't meant to be" So thats exactly what I did.
Soon the text messages came rolling in from her, the late night phone calls of her crying telling her how much she misses me and her mum and all this other shit. I never once called her or texted her unless she texted me first, and even then it would be hours or days later.
So then the other day I'm at work and she calls me and tells me that she just wants me to know that she really loves me and that everything there reminds her of me and she misses me. I was a little suprised, but I took it in my stride, said "okay, but I'm at work, I gotta go" and hung up. Then another few days go by and she messages me at 2 in the morning with an essay sized message saying how sorry she is for the "mistake that she made" and "believe me I've paid dearly for it and continue too" and how memories "of us have been flooding me and eating away inside" and how beatiful we were together and that "you still have my heart and the best memories ive ever held".
The was 3 nights ago, she's coming back to visit me and her mum and her old friends on Saturday for a few days, one of those days and nights is reserved for me (she'll be staying over).
Now totse, please I hope you read all of it and have some advice for me, what does that message mean? What the fuck does she want? I think she may want to get back together but realises how much hurt she's caused and is trying to make it right. At the moment I think I'm going to tell her that I'm not the guy who she can call whenever she wants for advice on how to feel better because her boyfriend is treating her badly (not that she does) and that I'm not the guy who she can just come and go to as she pleases and whenever it suits her best, but that I'll give her another chance if she wants it, but nothing more. Also I dont know what to do with the fuck buddy I have currently, I have to cut it off with her, she's not for me, she never was, and I'm just hurting her by continuing to lead her on. What are your comments on all this totse?
PS: I also plan to tell her that even though she moved down to another city, she didn't feel any different, and the reason behind that is that it's not the place that makes you fit in, it's the people. As long as you're with/around people you love and care about, anywhere is home. Thats what I had with her, I would have gone to the edge of the world with her if she wanted. But still reverting to my above point that she can't come and go as she pleases with me, she either wants me or she doesn't there's no inbetween.
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2007-05-25, 05:38
