This ins't some thread about whether to stick it in a girls bum or how to get a bigger errection i think this one fits more into the affection side of this forum...


A few of my friends have really strict parent who don't allow them to have pre-marital sex or listen to vaguely satanic music. I mean i can respect the values that they hold dear but ruling with a rod of iron isn't the way to go about things . The more forbidden the fruit becomes the ever more tangible it grows.

My parents always were very supportive and my dad used to give me a smack when i was being out of order and i am really thankful for this. My parents weren't perfect what with divorce and other issues. But i for one am very proud of the way my parents have raised me. They may be a little strict and pushy at times but thats life.

I was wondering are you grateful for the way your parents raised you and if you were to do it what would you change ?

My mothers' always been really good.
While I wouldn't say that she's been supportive of everything that I do, she does try her best to support me as much as she can, for the person that I am.
What would I change when I'm a parent?
I'm not going to let my punk ass teenage kids push me around.

A few of my friends have really strict parent who don't allow them to have pre-marital sex or listen to vaguely satanic music.

I'm going to raise my kids like that. :D

My parents were pretty cool when I was growing up.

They knew about me going out drinking at 15, smoking the cheeba, having sex, listening to heavy metal, etc etc etc.

All they did was tell me that it's my choice to experiment with things they don't agree with and that they know I'd make the right choices.

My mum would slap me if I was naughty...My dad, if Hell froze over for a moment.

I am glad my parents raised me the way they did or I wouldn't be who I am now. And to be honest I'm quite proud of how I turned out and the values I hold.

I'll probably be the same...Let them get on with it and only intervene when shit gets serious. And slap them if they're naughty...I disagree with all this tree-hugging hippy nonsense of "talking" to children and making them sit on the "naughty step" to make them see the error of their ways. That fucking law banning parents from physically educating their children is a load of bullshit. Children need a slap from tiem to time to teach them right from wrong.

My parents are great.

Bah, it has gotten too the point where my mom doesn't care what goes into my mind but what comes out of it. I don't think my mom could have stopped me from getting to the point where I am now because it is pretty fucking hard for a single mom to raise a kid if she is working all the time.

my parents never really cared what I did and I've payed for it. It also kept me grounded because I'd have to do something really nice to impress them. Sometimes I'd come home early, drunk to talk to my mom and we'd have a good time. She'd have a drink or two too and stuff and we'd talk and listen to music and shit. I'd get brought home by the cops and my mom would just try to make sure I wasn't getting charged and then get the cops the fuck out of there. I've always at more off a friend relationship with my mom and an old drunk roomate relationship with my dad. Both my parents like Black Sabbath so I guess they accept satanism as silly.

But then again, I have yet to graduate high school, dealt drugs for a good chunk of my life, been questioned and detained by police numerous times and haven't had a job this year.

My dad did nothing but call me a "fuckup" for my entire life, and that I would never make it in the "real world".

My mom slept all day and night and let me do whatever I wanted.

tree-hugging hippy nonsense of "talking" to children and making them sit on the "naughty step" to make them see the error of their ways.

This is pretty much what my parents did. I think I turned out fine.

I approve of this thread very much alot. I'll reply when have time. In mean time I'm going to sticky it.

i put my little brother in a speciel school its the last school in australia to use the cane and physical punishment mainly because even though in a security gaurd with 4 years experience i cant handle a 14 year old boy

My parents have been pretty cool so far.

They probably will freak out when I come home druck or somthing, but I've only had trouble with cops a few times. I think I've turned out pretty good so far, despite my anger problems, lack of morals and religion. But they both like hevier rock stuff so they don't care what I listen too. But when I get suspended I get grounded and they are pretty strict about that suff.

I really like this thread, even though I'm only 14, almost 15.

This is pretty much what my parents did. I think I turned out fine.

Some kids grow up in a good enough environment where respecting each other works.

I meant what I said more along the lines of using it once kids are out of control.
I hate seeing these shows where some old spinster comes into a house with demon kids and tries to sort everything out with talk when the kid knows that they aren't going to get puiched in the conventional way.

It's annoying.

True parenting would never necessitate "smacking" your kid when he is "out of order." And no kid benefits from extreme physical discipline. Judging you by your philosophy you just spewed there: I definetaly hope you don't have kids.

My mom is strict, I have to be home earliest of all my friends, i gotta get the "21 Questions" before going out, and when I see her outside she gives me the "Oh, your with these kinds of kids"
I also get breathalysers tested every now and then.
My dad tries to stay out of it, but he does the same exact things.
At least it shows they love me, i guess.
But my biggest problem with my parents are the way they treat my sister. I'd nominate her my family fuck-up, yet she is the one that they let do whatever she wants. They buy her a car, they barely buy me dinner. She comes home drunk and she's fine, I come home sober and get tested. She's allowed to have guys over when no ones home, I'm not allowed to have girls over, period.

thats makes me think of a friend of mine, he's always gettin yelled at but his younger brother can do what the fuck he wants..

When I was young, too young to remember, I threw a tantrum in the middle of the high street while my mother was taking me shopping. She slapped me, and I never threw one ever again.

My mother raised my brother and I to the best of her abilities, and still does. I have a great relationship with her now.

She always had a problem with my heavy alcohol use and love of the herb, but didn't freak out over it as she knew that wasn't going to make a difference. Instead she researched, and when I would walk into the house stoned, attempting to zip straight to my bedroom without any confrontation, she would be throwing these random facts and anecdotes about the mental implications of using cannabis.

True parenting would never necessitate "smacking" your kid when he is "out of order." And no kid benefits from extreme physical discipline. Judging you by your philosophy you just spewed there: I definetaly hope you don't have kids.

But what i am trying to stress is that this new age airy fairy method just raises little brats .

Hypothetical question here : your kids are young say 5 and are throwing fits stropping around trowing books what would you do ? .

According to your above post talk to them and ask why they are doing it and maybe grab a spot of tea.

I am not going to take it personally your belief that i should not have kids. I am sure you only meant it as you hope i don't raise my own children according to what i believe.

I respect your beliefs but think they are a little immature and a bit unrealistic.

I'm going to teach my kids about every main-stream religion. Not once will I say, "This is the truth", but will instead say, "This is what these people believe, and why." I want my kids to make their own decisions when it comes to EVERYTHING. I wouldn't let our daughter get her ears pierced until she got angry at the fact that mom couldn't put her earrings on her.

When it comes to discipline, we smack her hand and tell her, "Not nice!" when she does something wrong and then starts pretend-crying. So far that seems to be working well, but she still acts up at times. She's been especially bad since baby brother came into her life, but I'm sure she'll get over it.

In the future, I'll respect their decisions when it comes to music, clothes and friends (so long as they're not a TERRIBLE influence). I'm taking a more liberal approach, but their mother will be bringing them to church and be the main "authority figure". Kinda backward according to certain points of view, but that's how it goes.

Our daughter is going to be an interesting person when she grows up I think, what with her mom in the punk scene with two facial piercings and a crazy but loving father.

EDIT: I'll allow them to smoke weed and drink when they turn 16.

I think my parents did a pretty good job with me, although I would have done a few things differently. They were both raised very strict roman catholic, in Europe, and so they tried to pass that off on me and my brother. Lets just say living a sheltered life until high school really screws you up. Me and my brother both went through the rebellious phase, him moreso than me, but we're both fine now, took him a lotttt longer though. About 12 years longer. I attribute a lot of my actions in high school to being so damn clueless about the real world when I was growing up. And I have to blame my parents for that, but I know they thought they were doing the right thing, so although I blame them, I don't fault them. I still turned out pretty good.

I think good parents are those who answer their childrens questions honestly, not with answers like "because that's what it says in the bible." That's a shitty answer. They should also let their kids make their own mistakes, and try not to interfere as long as the mistakes aren't horrible. For example, your kid smokes pot. Fine, let him. Tell him you don't like it and whatever other rant you want to go on, but don't threaten and blackmail and whatever else. It'll make it worse. If your kid is doing heroine and has track marks all over his arm, drops out of school and wants to kill people, send his ass to rehab/bootcamp/whatever. Part of a parents responsibility is to ensure your children grow up to be successful, productive members of society. And if you yourself are not a productive member of society, don't have any fucking kids, dammit.

Good parents should teach their kids right and wrong. It's wrong to scream and cry and throw things at a nice restaurant. If your kid is an asshole and you can't discipline it, get a babysitter for when you leave the house. Take him to the playground instead, that's where kids are allowed to be loud and scream and cry.

Lastly, being a parent should be your first priority. If it can't be your first priority, don't have kids.

But what i am trying to stress is that this new age airy fairy method just raises little brats .

Hypothetical question here : your kids are young say 5 and are throwing fits stropping around trowing books what would you do ?

They'd have no reason to misbehave if you acted normal and raised them properly, but I'd probably drag them to their room in a manner to hint that I am displeased with their behavior, then explain them why what they're doing was wrong and maybe ground them for about a day so they can think about it.

According to your above post talk to them and ask why they are doing it and maybe grab a spot of tea.

Yes you fucking idiot, COMMUNICATE. Is being rowdy and moronic all you know? C'mon...

I am not going to take it personally your belief that i should not have kids. I am sure you only meant it as you hope i don't raise my own children according to what i believe.

I said that because I'd hate to see more people grow up to be assholes like you.

I respect your beliefs but think they are a little immature and a bit unrealistic.

That figures (if you're from America) where all you people know to do is breed without a specific purpose, neglect your children and then wonder why they're hateful and disobedient later.

My parents always were very supportive and my dad used to give me smack when i was being out of order and i am really thankful for this.

That's what i read the first time. I don't think the strict approach works, in the end kids will do what they want and get around their parents. I think a much better approach would be to ensure they know the facts, then if they still want to they can do what ever it is they want to.

Parenting isn't a hands on thing all the time. You have to allow children the opportunity for personal growth. Kids have to know how to make choices in an informed manner. If you want to raise sheep, then become a farmer and not a father.

A grandparent once passed on a piece of wisdom to me that stuck. The goal of raising children is to be surpassed in every way; to bring your children up in a manner that will allow them to be a self-sufficient and well-rounded individual. To have a child that can walk away from you later in life and be successful in whatever they desire.

my parents were a little strict growing up but my teenage years i have gotten to pretty much do what i want because they trust me. I do bad things, they probably know that. But on the other hand i am gonna graduate with 3.8 cumulative gpa in high school with honors/ AP classes, college credit, starting varsity football and wrestling athlete, professional networking certification, and im going to a good 4 year university. i would say i turned out great

That figures (if you're from America) where all you people know to do is breed without a specific purpose, neglect your children and then wonder why they're hateful and disobedient later.
lol thats just the inner-city welfare abusers

When I was like 15 and my mom would say something about me smoking weed in the house or getting suspended I'd say "you're lucky I'm not out stealing cars with the way I've been raised." My mom worked a lot growing up so I didn't see her that often. Neither of my parents really tried to control what I did. I lived a sticktown when I was younger so they'd just kick me and my brother outside and we'd do whatever. My mom just told me she "wish I wouldn't smoke" at 13 when she caught me and asked me how the hell I had money for weed when she caught me at 14. I never doubted they loved me though and though we've had our rough patches and I come from a disfunctional ass family (only thing we can all agree on) It suits me fine. Even though I viewed my dad as a drunk asshole when I was young I still had to sabatage my moms relationship with a guy she was thinking of marrying because I'd see my dad less. I chalk up my criminal activities not as being morally bankrupt but from being raised to believe in my own values over the governments.

Some kids grow up in a good enough environment where respecting each other works.

I meant what I said more along the lines of using it once kids are out of control.
I hate seeing these shows where some old spinster comes into a house with demon kids and tries to sort everything out with talk when the kid knows that they aren't going to get puiched in the conventional way.

It's annoying.

The thing is, I was moderately of out of control for some time. I would hit my sister and take her toys, cry when I didn't get what I wanted, and physically resist going to school.

as for the 'naughty step' method, I don't think there's many kids capable of sitting through that thinking about something unrelated and forget about it afterwards. I wasn't at least; there were always a lot of hard feelings surrounding the incidents on all sides. It's not about thinking about what you did, it's about feeling rage and frustration at being physically restrained with the assertion that what you did was wrong. It makes you want to justify that rage by proving the legitimacy of your actions to yourself later, and when that becomes impossible, that's when I learned. If they left for a minute, I would leave the house and run for concealment, and they would hunt me down and bring me back. It had nothing at all to do with the time lost; while there was still time on the egg timer I felt like there was still a chance I could get away and prove something to myself, but after I was allowed to leave I would just stay there and cry and yell until I tired myself out. They didn't use it very often, but when they did I understood at the very least that what I had done was a big deal. This only happened in extreme cases; it didn't come to this very often. They stopped doing it when I was around six or seven, I think.

Also, they never acquiesced when I made prolonged and repeated demands. I don't remember exactly what other methods they used, but most of the time I think it was enough for them to snap at me verbally. Which again, didn't happen that often; when the things I did were the result of not considering other peoples needs (not yelling when someone's talking on the phone, not standing in front of the telivision, etc.) talking would usually work, even though it took quite a few times. Complete accidents like breaking windows didn't earn much ire at all.

I agree wholeheartedly that supernanny and the like are absolutely retarded. But there are ways to control children that don't involve physical violence. The way my dad put it is that violence is difficult to separate from anger. As I see it, when you're expressing your anger, you aren't conveying a sense of absolute wrongness; it's more personal than that. If you're just trying to keep your parents from getting mad, that becomes more important than the underlying ethical principles that should be conveyed.

They'd have no reason to misbehave if you acted normal and raised them properly, but I'd probably drag them to their room in a manner to hint that I am displeased with their behavior, then explain them why what they're doing was wrong and maybe ground them for about a day so they can think about it.



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That figures (if you're from America) where all you people know to do is breed without a specific purpose, neglect your children and then wonder why they're hateful and disobedient later.


Oh cmon kids will be disobedient and cause trouble its in their nature . You have not and will never meet a child that doesn't misbehave.


Im English/New Zealand actually.

The more and more you swear and personally attack me and not my opinions the more your argument falls into tatters. If you cant keep a decent conversation without resorting to name-calling what hope could you give to people looking up to your form of parenting.

I am a level headed person i am not talking about beating your kids black and blue for spilling a drink im merely saying that smacking has its place. Some new age middle class method is/was only a phase and time tested methods and maturity will always prevail.

My mom's old boyfriend was awesome, I wish he was my dad. He taught me stuff about being manly and smacked me upside the head when I did something gay, stupid, or was about to embarass myself. He is the reason why I don't act like a fag today (I was a weird kid growing up because I never had a father figure). He was also really cool in that he did things he thought were funny and when I think about them today it makes me laugh (for example when I was 7 or 8 he showed me the first few parts of Full Metal Jacket and when the guy killed himself he told me that is what happens when you screw up). I really wish my mom would have stayed with him...