So theres this girl..

But maybe an intro on myself first.



I've never has a girlfriend before.
I'm 17, still in college (High school).
I'm a nerd.
I'm rather paranoid.
I'm quite messed up mentally. Not the "Lol zomg I'm so weird", but instead with meds that cause mood swings, and parents that have been in a mental home
I try to be a nice person...
I don't have much of a social life. Its not that I don't want one, I'm just not very good with people.
No confidence, no self esteem.
And I'm dense. So very, very dense.

So anyway, this girl.
First time I ever would have met her was at a lan over a year ago. She was the only female there; it was a small one with only about 25 people there. Her stepdad was the person who drove my dodgy ass fridge, with flames painted on it there. Wasn't so much met her, as it was "became aware of her existence".

About a few months ago I noticed someone at work who looked familiar, but I had no idea who it was, later in the break room I seen her named tag, and asked her if she liked goatse (She had made it quite clear that she did before).
Now, the only she knew about me prior to the ensuing conversation was that I had a superman emblem burnt into my chest (https://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?p=8139972#post8139972) (This is something apparently know by the whole grocery department, despite the fact that I work at checkouts; where I'm the best thing since minimum wage)

So anyway, Goatse and stupid things that I burnt into myself and sexy fridges are apparently the new best way to pick up girls.

By this point, I probably should say what sort of person she is;
Definite movie buff.
Gamer.
Sifty in the good way, aka will look at really kinky porn to see if anything does phase her. And the love of goatse.
She might be the type who won't tell someone if they don't like them, and only drop hints instead; she has claimed to be a lesbian to get rid of a guy before. And I am really dense.
She also claims to be really dense.
Shes also a year older than me and has finished school, and now works full time.
Shes still a teenage girl though. No amount of deviation from the norm can change that about someone.

So the next Saturday night I go round to her place, and we spend the whole night watching movies and talking (and me rushing off to the toilet every 30 minutes or so). Nothing physical except an arm wrestle and a pillow fight.
I don't stay long after I've woken up in the afternoon as she needs to go somewhere anyway. And I awoke to a house that was silent and Became paranoid that I was the only person there (lets no go into to much detail).

Anyway, another two weeks of mass txting and bebo comment whorage ensues, she has to bail on me for coming around to my house because she has a really bad hangover from when she went out the night before. Its fine, we just reschedule for the next week. And it seems like a few days after that thing just went cold. We had made the rule previously that we should txt each other at least once a day, or face punishment (because the only reason why we wouldn't is because the other person wasn't and... vicious cycle) The following Saturday, I find she has to bail on me for Sunday, because she has to move. We don't bother rescheduling, (Or haven't yet) Instead I ask her if she wants to go see Reno 911 with me. She says she can't afford films, but I offer to pay, so she comes. We talk quite a bit that night. And then thing seem to drop dead again.

And heres where me being paranoid gets up. She'll either not txt me back for a few hours, or she'll do it right before I usually go to bed. She went to the movies with me yesterday, and sure, we talked, just not as much as we did previously. no sitting down outside, just walking home instead. I was going to ask if she wanted to come back to my place (Not in a sifty way), but... well... I didn't find a way to work it in. Theres also the fact that her battery died just as we had agreed where to meet, and she hasn't txt me since then. She hasn't left any message on bebo all week, after leaving one or two daily (And this was before se moved and still had internet). She hasn't been on MSN since then either...

I know I'm probably just being silly, and that I should be shot for even thinking about using bebo as a measure for anything but...
Now I'm completely paranoid that she doesn’t like me. I've tried to make it clear earlier that I liked her. And I mean in the way of choosing to be in the same room as someone, or merely tolerating them.
And the above isn't completely detailed so it forms a better argument in my head. But I won't believe something until there concrete evidence, aka them actually saying it. And I don't know if she actually would. I'd prefer she did just say it to me being confused and wondering "why the hell won't she talk to me". She quit work a few weeks ago, because she was going to move away. Although She isn't going to anymore, thankfully.


And So far the only sources of advice I've had are from people who I don't trust (Well, that includes almost everyone, but these two especially)
At the very least she said I had to go see die hard 4 with her when the trailer for it showed.

So totse, if you actually did read all of that, firstly; thanks. I know thats a horrible mess to read.
And for those of you who want to post something one line long, consisting of a spotted typo, 'lol fag', 'loser', etc; then fuck off. If you're not going to post something of value, then you're wasting bandwidth and disk space.

And as I said above, I'd rather know that I'm not liked than be confused. When I'm confused, my brain reverts to the emotion its most familiar with, ands that isn't happiness...
So tell me, do you think I'm just being silly and over-reading into this?
Or that I've destroyed any chance of going any further?
Or that I'm going in the wrong direction and I can try to go where I want to by yada, yada yada...
Or any advice that you have to offer on this subject at all.


Oh, and person who I'm talking about, If you're reading this (Only a few degrees of separation from my real name, courtesy of google)... well... at least you know how I feel.

I think it's realistic that she does'nt like you anymore, and more to the point, maybe shes found out something about you? And I was wondering why she can't afford movies if she works full-time? You should ask her how she feels, and if she likes you - ask her out.

Well, if I were you I'd simply get your answer from her. You went into a lot of detail, but no one can really be sure how she feels except her. If she is dense like she says, you might just have to ask her. This might also be necessary if you won't understand without a straight answer.

I wish you luck.

EDIT: If you do decide to try and get an answer out of her, just make sure she knows (or believes, if it's not true) that you won't get your feelings badly hurt no matter what the answer is. You clearly need a straight answer, and she doesn't seem like the type that will give you one if it's negative.

Sounds like copypasta.. and something that would normally be seen in /b/.

I'm calling bullshits.

<heads back to /b/>

On the topic of /b/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sK3AqFYAWQ

She may be playing hard to get slightly.

From what I read you might just be a friend. You should make a move fast.

1.) You fucked up girls like it for a guy to make the first move, it shows confidence, and girls like a guy with balls. The "arm wrestle and a pillow fight" were clear physical indicators for when to make your move, but you didn't.
2.) It may be too late (as she is trying to blow you off) but you should try coming clean and telling her that you want to get with her. She may be surprised by your frankness and give you some ass... or she may view it as desperate and dislike you more for it. Your call....
3.) Next time just attack the pussy.... ask questions later.

Call/see her and say somethign to the effect that you aren't talking as much anymore and you've realized how much you liked it and then segway into wanting to be with her.

Way too long. You seem very insecure. Just wake up everyday and go "I'm the best motherfucker with the biggest balls in the world" and shit'll falll into place.

^^ As fucking stupid as that sounds, he's kind of right.
I used to be a lot like you. Over analyzing things, thinking way too much, especially with girls I like. I mean, I still am. But I've known this about myself, and just now, I'm taking action to prevent it from fucking everything up. And you know what? It's working beautifully.

I can't stress this enough. JUST FUCKING GO FOR IT. Even if you're not 100% sure on the signals, even if you don't entirely know how she'll react, just tell yourself that you're the shit, and you're going to make a move, and she will like it, and everything will be just peachy.

I'm not going to change you. But the sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll be on your way to eternal bliss. Well, not really, but your girl problems will undoubtedly decrease in magnitude.

Like everyone else said...just go for it. You'll never know if you don't just go for it. Make sure you do it in person. Telephones and computers are too impersonal when it comes to matters of the heart. I can't stress this enough. She needs to hear your true voice, and witness your body language first hand.

Don't be wimpy about it. Tell her she brings happiness into your life, and show that happiness on your face while you're telling her. She needs to see the effect she's having on you. If you just straight out tell her you like her with no feeling or emotion in your voice she will not respond favorably. You can't just tell her you like her...you have to show it to her.

Well, I talked to her....
I swear My various issues have gotten worse lately. My mood seems to have swung from wonderfully happy to
I want to kill myself" Quite a few times today. And that doesn't even have to do with her... or anyone. And I'm not normally anywhere near this paranoid.

I probably should also point out that while having some self-confidence would be a good thing in this situation, You're telling it to the guy who is used to the idea of "I'm a worthless piece of shit". Its the mindset I've had for many years, and sadly, I don't think its going to change soon.

Anyways, I said I'd rather an unpleasant truth than sitting in the dark wondering wtf with meh paranoia yelling at me....
She says shes been busy with the moving, new job, phone being shitty, no internet, etc. Fair enough, although now I feel silly for asking, but feeling silly is something i do a lot of anyway.

I've got her coming around to watch.... star wars of all things (her choice, I've never actually seen it before) next wed.

Oh, and I think I may have competition that is already doing much better than me. Meh. I'm not sure. My lack of confusion could only last so long...
She doesn't seem like the type who would be trying to play mind games with me... It'd be a bad idea trying to play them with me anyways.


I swear I need to find out whats causing these damn mood swings. My perception of stuff changes so quickly... It could be the prednisone, but its never done this before. I dunno, For now I'm gonna have ti stick to the idea of "What happens, happens."