I cannot seem to get horny enough or confident enough to have sex or engage in anything sexual- unless I am AT LEAST a little tipsy. Seriously, I don't think I've ever had sex completely sober. If I know sex is in the cards for me, I'll literally tell the guy- I need to have a drink, and we will PULL OVER to find a liquor store.

This is a major problem. I feel like an alcoholic- even though it's just this particular area of my life. I can't NOT be drunk, or I will just tense up or feel really gross. I probably have some serious psycho issues and stuff but I don't have money to get therape-me. What can I do to stop this habit? Do I sort of just ease myself out of it? Like, first night, I'm piss drunk, next night, I'm moderately fucked up, third night, I'm tipsy, etc.

Any advice?

Get a new hairdo and go some sit ups. Maybe that'll help your self esteem.

are we talking one night stands here? or are you in a relationship?

if its a one night stand...i guess its not something to be nervous about,showing your body to a stranger pretty much.

but if you are in a relationship...that doesnt seem right? do you trust the person/people you sleep with or what?


i would say:sleep with people you are comfortable with.are you uncomfortable with your body?

Christian upbringing? Were you taught that your body, especially 'down there' is dirty/sinful/shameful? Or were you abused?

Those are the things that come to mind and would be a common explaination for your 'problem'.

I say 'problem' because I don't really see it as a problem. I very much doubt you're an alcoholic or in danger of becoming one (remember I am one).

Question: Once you've had a couple of drinks you enjoy sex, you orgasm and wake up without major regrets afterwards?

My friend told me that at the start of her current relationship, they just used to get drunk, fuck, get drunk, and fuck. She said they hardly even got intimate when sober; she was inexperienced at the time, but learned to adore sex.
Now, their sex life is fine, but at the start she needed the confidence boost.

It wasn't a Christian upbringing perse, but my mother was always like "you need to be protective of your body because men will rape you." In a nutshell, that's what she always said to me. Actually, now that I think of it, she did teach me that it is shameful. And I was abused. Two out of three- YES!

I used to have an alcohol problem as a child, ironically, about age 13-14-15 ish. I don't quite remember. Or it could have even been as late as 16.

I have major regrets, trust me. Major.