my boyfriend and i live on opposite sides of the country. we met overseas and eventually decided to keep it going. we alternate trips back and forth.

at the moment, we're in our longest gap. he was here in april, we're meeting in melbourne in july. it's not easy.

we talk over video chat about 2-3 times a week, send emails and letters. still, it's nothing like having someone sleeping in the bed with you.

any suggestions of what we could do to make it better? people who have had long-distance relationships, any tips?

please - try to avoid the 'long distance relationships never work' thing. it's not helpful.

please - try to avoid the 'long distance relationships never work' thing. it's not helpful.

But it's the truth.

As healthy and good you think the relationship is, what's wrong with dating someone in your own damn area?

Trust me. I've been through a long distance relationship. There's nothing thats going to make it better. Its just going to get worse.

If you don't believe me, see for yourself.
If you don't learn from my experience, learn from your own.

Communication. And lots and lots and lots of trust.

My roommate is in a long distance relationship. He talks on the phone with her everyday for AT LEAST 3 hours (usually during nights and weekend to get free cell phone minutes).

They live a state apart, but they alternate visiting each other like every other weekend. They save up money to take an 8 hour long train ride to visit each other. On big occasions like anniversary, holidays, or whatever, they'll save up for plane tickets and spend a few weeks with each other.

Anyways, they plan on eventually moving in with each other. They had to go through a lot of work, planning, and arguments to get to that point. A lot of drama was endured (I hate dealing with other people's relationships, but I did my best to help him out since he's one of my best friends). It's definitely key to have an unbiased outside perspective on those situations. I was blunt and honest with him, and I think it helped him out a lot.

Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. From past experience, I know for a fact I personally can't handle LD relationships myself and vowed never to have one again. But that's just me. If you want to make it work, you can... but it will require effort.

Also, don't ditch your other friends. It's annoying when your best friend spends almost all of his time with his LD g/f and rarely every hangs out with his other friends. I mean, he'll come out with us, but not unless she is with him and they leave together early. It makes me sad that in a few years he's most likely going to sever all connections with his good friends because of he's so focused on his g/f and will regret it painfully. Shit, me and my other friend have already gone off with our own lives meeting new people, and he wonders why he's always being left out.

Good luck and I hoped that help.

Meh, by the way you're talking it sounds like it's going to end up crap.

I was in one. i never found it a huge deal. she did of course, and said the same things you're saying now.

we've been doing this for a while.

it's hard not because there are trust issues, but more because we miss each other.

things that HAVE helped are having set dates when we know we'll see each other and making sure that we're still involved in each other's every day life.

Uh, so what's the problem? You seem him regularly enough. Yet you still seem to not be satisfied.

Trust me. I've been through a long distance relationship. There's nothing thats going to make it better. Its just going to get worse.

You shouldn't assume that your own personal experience always holds true for everybody else in the same situation. Some people can handle a long-distance relationship, others can't.

There's no way around missing each other. It's just part of the whole LDR thing. There's not a lot you can do, but if it's going to work then you will get through the times you're not together. Simple as that, really.

My last long distance relationship was so hard. Just hurt too much, as much as I was happy talking to her, it made us both sad that we were so far apart.

^ Yup, there's definite sadness of missing each other.

As said, it just takes lots of trust, and it always helps if you've put in a lot of effort before the relationship "turns" long distance. If the bond is there between you, then the relationship will work.

Make sure you try to keep in touch as much as possible - recently, we've started writing letters to each other, which is a nice change to the MSN messenger and email that everybody uses these days.

My girlfriend and I have almost finished a year of long distance. We've seen each other for less than 20 days this year. Gah, and I've got another 3 years of this to go before we can move in together.

Gah, and I've got another 3 years of this to go before we can move in together.

that's the tough bit. i know that eventually i'll move to sydney (knew that before i met him). unfortunately, i'm going to be at uni for another 3 years. he's coming here at the end of the year for a few months though.

i am happy in this relationship. he's the most amazing person i've ever met. the missing him is the worst bit - i was looking for advice on how to lessen that. i'm thinking that there's no way about it.

i prefer missing him to not being in a relationship with him (we've tried that too).

My girlfriend lives in Boston. I love her dearly, fucking dearly, but we still maintain an open relationship. We don't miss eachother as much as long as we can talk, you know, the usual phone sex/cyber shit. I'm going to see her this summer and not again 'till next summer when she moves in with me in CO.

We've been dating for five years. Perhaps you should either make it an open relationship?

neither of us want an open relationship. we've discussed it. we want to be with each other, not other people. there's no temptation to cheat.

I'm in a long distance relationship aswell. We haven't met yet, but she is coming for two weeks in December.. which I'm already excited about.

Things get really tough at times, at least in our relationship. She's bipolar so its on and off, but I'm not leaving. We have fun when we're both in good moods, talking all day, everyday. Talking on the phone a lot too, it helps. Nice to hear the other persons voice before sleeping, and its a nice feeling to be thinking that she's in her bed sleeping while you are too.. yeah I'm kinda crazy.

So far we've been supportive of each other, other than that one week of complete disconnect (thought it was over). We'll make it, i know that for a fact.

If you're in one and have ambitions to move in together, keep looking forward to the future, make sure you make him or her feel loved and wanted, things will get tough and hard but if its worth it, don't give up. Communication, and support. Talk about the future, talk about things you'll be doing..and that.

(makes no sense, its may24 and i drank to much) :D

I'm in a long distance relationship aswell....She's bipolar so its on and off, but I'm not leaving. We have fun when we're both in good moods...

Red flag, dude. Red flag...

Believe me. It'll turn to hell before you even notice.

Red flag, dude. Red flag...

Believe me. It'll turn to hell before you even notice.

Some shrink once said I had Assburgers, but I think he was just making fun of me:(

Red flag, dude. Red flag...

Believe me. It'll turn to hell before you even notice.


I already know what to expect. And I know how it is now, its hell sometimes, but...it works, the good times outweigh the bad times, and atm, I think there will be more good times tan bad once together.

But if ya wanna talk

nomthewise@gmail.com
msn

>.<
I should stop getting high too, I think far to much about it...booze..ftw..


She doesn't post here anymore.

She doesn't post here anymore.

Not often. :p

Some shrink once said I had Assburgers, but I think he was just making fun of me:(

LOL, I got that joke.

But, OP, he's sleeping with someone else already.

Not often. :p

Lol oh shite :P <3

I'm going to see her this summer and not again 'till next summer when she moves in with me in CO.

Where in Colorado are you moving to? Not that I actually care... I'm just curious, since I live in Colorado.

Hey, at least you have something to look forward to now and again and something to value. If you are dating someone that you see every single day and are forced to be with everysingle day (e.g school) Then you kind of get 'bored' and end up getting fed up with them and find yourself falling out and not actually appriciating them as much. Sure, its nice to have someone there to actually be there for you when you need them, but its also nice to not be under each others feet 24/7 :)

that's the tough bit. i know that eventually i'll move to sydney (knew that before i met him). unfortunately, i'm going to be at uni for another 3 years. he's coming here at the end of the year for a few months though.

i am happy in this relationship. he's the most amazing person i've ever met. the missing him is the worst bit - i was looking for advice on how to lessen that. i'm thinking that there's no way about it.

i prefer missing him to not being in a relationship with him (we've tried that too).
I can relate. I'm in a LD relationship myself. We see eachother every month, we get sad between times that we can't see eachother of course, but we knew it was going to be that way since the begining. That's what we bargined for. It takes alot of effort and patience, it's not like any ordinary relationship as you've already noticed.. but what keeps us going is knowing that we will end up together in the end. If you don't think you will end up with him, then what exactly is the point of being in a LD relationship? I had alot of thinking to do before getting involved, but luckily for me the institute I plan on attending next year is in the same state as he lives in. My boyfriend is at the age where he wants to settle down with a girl. I'm at the age where I need to start making big decsions in my life, chosing to be with him and waiting a whole year in distance was definitely a big one. I'm in it now and theres no turning back. I spend alot of time, money and effort keeping the relationship healthy, and knowing that it will all pay off in the end is what keeps us both going. If we can go through this, we can go through anything.
Good luck to you both.