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| My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged. |
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# 1

2007-05-17, 17:07
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Favorite Bible passages?
Now I'm not a devout Christian or anything, but the Bible has its merits... What are your favorite passages? Be them cause they're funny, moving, meaningful in whatever way to you,... list yours.
Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Proverbs 23:31
Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in the cup, when it moveth itself aright.
1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-10
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.
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# 2

2007-05-19, 16:12
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Regular
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In my Kingdom Cold
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
"Suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" 1 Timothy 2:12
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# 3

2007-05-19, 16:33
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Regular
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Garden City Kansas
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Matthew 7:21-23
"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say unto me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
I like it because it nicely contradicts that idea of "Salvation through faith alone" and it's good to use against all the alcoholic, wife-beating, racist Christians (which is to say, all of the Christians).
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# 4

2007-05-19, 17:17
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
leviticus XII, 3
and in the eight day the flesh of the foreskin shall be circumcised
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# 5

2007-05-19, 20:52
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Moderator
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I live in Heresy
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Matt 22:14
"For many are invited, but few are chosen."
__________________
Fighting the world since '87
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# 6

2007-05-19, 20:58
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Regular
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Mount Selya, Vulcan
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
Jesus: Real Prick.
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# 7

2007-05-19, 22:15
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I love it when people take scripture out of context because it really shows me who not to pay attention to in this forum.
Holy shit i havent been on totse in a couple of days and i went from -4 repect points to +6.
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# 8

2007-05-20, 04:36
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAMMY249
I love it when people take scripture out of context...
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Be specific. If you want anyone to take you seriously, you should probably back up these ignorantly vague statements with some kind of arguement.
2 Kings 2:23-24 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
What a loving god, right?
Last edited by SafeAsMilk; 2007-05-20 at 04:42.
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# 9

2007-05-20, 04:47
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SafeAsMilk
Be specific. If you want anyone to take you seriously, you should probably back up these ignorantly vague statements with some kind of arguement.
2 Kings 2:23-24 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
What a loving god, right?
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How does this prove he is not loving? If you werent so ignorant of the scriptures i would say more sadly i am wasting my time talking to people who havent even read the Bible and also lack the capacity to understand it.
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# 10

2007-05-20, 18:52
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAMMY249
How does this prove he is not loving? If you werent so ignorant of the scriptures i would say more...
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Do you usually kill the people that you love?
Why is our "ignorance" always your excuse for not backing up your statements with any kind of evidence or arguement?
How do you know that I haven't read the Bible? Also, one last thing: you never did get specific about who has taken the Bible verses out of context in this thread.
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#11
 2007-05-20, 22:09
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dead_people_killer 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I [am] the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them
The version from the movie is a dramatically enhanced version.
I like this one better.
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#12
 2007-05-20, 23:59
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Iam 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
If you werent so ignorant of the scriptures i would say more sadly i am wasting my time talking to people who havent even read the Bible and also lack the capacity to understand it.
You're a hypocrite. You obviously do not understand what Christianity is about.
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#13
 2007-05-21, 03:46
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mindovermusic 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Eloi Eloi lama sabach-thani!
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#14
 2007-05-21, 03:53
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I'm not going to post the entirety of the Book of Job, so I'll just link you to this: Iyov - Job (http://www.chabad.org/library/article.asp?AID=15772).
I've always liked the passage in chapter seven of Mathew too, where Jesus states that the path to destruction is wide but the gate to truth is narrow.
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#15
 2007-05-21, 03:58
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mindovermusic 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
most of job predates monotheism.
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#16
 2007-05-21, 04:05
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by mindovermusic
most of job predates monotheism.
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Still kicks ass as a metaphor for life though. It's like that speech Rocky gives in "Rocky Balboa" poeticized. And I can't believe I'm making references to boxing blockbusters on a theology forum...
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#17
 2007-05-21, 04:07
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mindovermusic 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I love job aswell
and lol @ rocky.
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#18
 2007-05-21, 04:24
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chickenpoop 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Do unto others
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#19
 2007-05-21, 14:57
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mindovermusic 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
every religion has a passage like that. I saw a poster with that line and its equivalent from about 20 religions and sects, so prolly not some original thinking there.
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#20
 2007-05-21, 16:16
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Drox 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Test everything. Hold on to the good.
1 Thessalonians 5:21
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#21
 2007-05-21, 22:39
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I like it because it nicely contradicts that idea of "Salvation through faith alone" and it's good to use against all the alcoholic, wife-beating, racist Christians (which is to say, all of the Christians).
QFT, except for the racist part. Christians sure love their booze and telling people where they belong.
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#22
 2007-05-22, 00:40
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Iam 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Yeah, one of MY personal favorite things to say to a Christian is, "That's a beautiful religion you've got there, it's a shame you don't follow it." I think I heard it somewhere, but I don't know where....
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#23
 2007-05-22, 02:46
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Iam
Yeah, one of MY personal favorite things to say to a Christian is, "That's a beautiful religion you've got there, it's a shame you don't follow it." I think I heard it somewhere, but I don't know where....
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Mohandis Gandhi said something to the extent of :
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
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#24
 2007-05-22, 02:49
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laundrysoap 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I don't have a favorite Bible passage; I'm not a cunt.
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#25
 2007-05-22, 04:58
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Lamabot 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quoting Exodus 20:21 or Psalms 137:9 is fun. Christians think I make it up.
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#26
 2007-05-23, 02:09
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lamabot
Quoting Exodus 20:21 or Psalms 137:9 is fun. Christians think I make it up.
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21: And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was.
How does this mean anything? O wait you dont know what you are talking about.
It does sound bad when you take it out of context as i have pointed out so let me help.
1: By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.
2: We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.
3: For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion.
4: How shall we sing the LORD's song in a strange land?
5: If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
6: If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy.
7: Remember, O LORD, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem; who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
8: O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
9: Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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#27
 2007-05-23, 10:17
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
How does this mean anything? O wait you dont know what you are talking about.
And this from the american who thinks Paul wrote the Revelation...
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#28
 2007-05-24, 20:45
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
And this from the american who thinks Paul wrote the Revelation...
Your a moron because I said it was John.
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#29
 2007-05-24, 21:14
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Moderator
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dodging the rain and tractors
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Your a moron because I said it was John.
SAMMY249 SAMMY249 is online now
Regular
AtlantaGeorgiaUnited States SAMMY249 is an unknown
Default Re: Stop arse raping Revelations! Late night poorly written rant and bible 101.
7 is also the number of perfection so what if there are 7 hills in Rome its a coincidence Paul was writing to churches that were located in modern day Turkey. Jack Harold and Hex are all basing their argument on coincidental evidence just like evolution.
and no the message isn't too short you fascist piece of software.
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#30
 2007-05-24, 21:22
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shitty wok 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
and no the message isn't too short you fascist piece of software.
jackketch, you're a mod. Don't take shit from that ignorant racist cretin.
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#31
 2007-05-24, 21:36
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
jackketch, you're a mod. Don't take shit from that ignorant racist cretin.
Racist? Your a complete moron and not one thing that youve posted have you ever known what your talking about and this one is no different.
Cretin? What did you go to google and type in "medical term insults" stop calling people names when you cant form a decent post.
I didnt see Jack's post so I wont even respond.
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#32
 2007-05-24, 21:57
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mindovermusic 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
read up sucka. Just like dumb originally was the medical term for mute.
the insult cretin comes from marx who used to indicate a person trapped in a deluded world of their own.
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#33
 2007-05-24, 21:59
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I think Mr. wok is talking about how t3h k3tch hates the minimum text requirement for publishing posts. Enigma's little VB conditional coding he added to Totse's software to force people to publish posts with content.
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#34
 2007-05-24, 22:06
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I was not wrong "Cretinism is a condition of severely stunted physical and mental growth due to untreated congenital deficiency of thyroid hormones (hypothyroidism). The term cretin refers to a person so affected." but neither are you "The term parliamentary cretinism was introduced by Marx. According to Marx, parliamentary cretinism "confines its victims to an imaginary world and robs them of their senses, their recollection, all knowledge of the rude external world." Friedrich Engels wrote that it refers to the belief that a simple majority in one's national legislature has the power to direct the future of the whole world in all matters, and even to delimit historical causality authoritatively. Lenin used it to decry those who eschewed revolution in the streets for the leftist party project of gaining such a majority." but im sure he didnt know that so I assumed he was referring to the medical term.
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#35
 2007-05-24, 22:09
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
and no the message isn't too short you fascist piece of software.
t3h k3tch hates the minimum text requirement for publishing posts.
.....
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#36
 2007-05-24, 23:20
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mindovermusic 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
SAMMY,
then you're a big fucking tool
its like me calling you a dumbass and you taking that as meaning your ass can't talk. Retarded is a medical condition (kind of) yet I can sure as fuck call you a retard and people will know what I'm trying to say.
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#37
 2007-05-24, 23:31
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by mindovermusic
SAMMY,
then you're a big fucking tool
its like me calling you a dumbass and you taking that as meaning your ass can't talk. Retarded is a medical condition (kind of) yet I can sure as fuck call you a retard and people will know what I'm trying to say.
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Your comparing apples and oranges, I was basing my assumption on the normal logic the normal totsean uses in this thread (buttfuck stupid) therefore i would take this "dumbass" and assume (based very logically on normal uses of the word) that you meant i was in other words stupid.
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#38
 2007-05-25, 01:27
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mindovermusic 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I'm impressed that you can use logical analysis to figure out something that normal people get without thought. Why couldn't you do that before? When someone calls someone else a cretin it very rarely implies the medical condition, most people just say iodine deficiency.
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#39
 2007-05-25, 01:32
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by mindovermusic
I'm impressed that you can use logical analysis to figure out something that normal people get without thought. Why couldn't you do that before? When someone calls someone else a cretin it very rarely implies the medical condition, most people just say iodine deficiency.
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Well Ill tell you the truth I had no idea what that word was I had never heard it used so I looked it up and adopted the first definition it is safe to assume that the first definition you see is the one people use the most.
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#40
 2007-05-25, 01:42
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mindovermusic 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
wow
you need to get out more.
I apologize, I thought you were trying to be a smartass.
but errybody knows cretin means essentially uncivilized, unintelligent person, in the vernacular you see.
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#41
 2007-05-25, 01:57
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by mindovermusic
wow
you need to get out more.
I apologize, I thought you were trying to be a smartass.
but errybody knows cretin means essentially uncivilized, unintelligent person, in the vernacular you see.
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Yes, I do now thanks for showing me the light.
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#42
 2007-05-25, 04:52
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Lamabot 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
My bad I meant exodus 21:20-21
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#43
 2007-05-26, 17:19
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suck_my_muffin 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Iam
Matthew 7:21-23
"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say unto me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."
I like it because it nicely contradicts that idea of "Salvation through faith alone" and it's good to use against all the alcoholic, wife-beating, racist Christians (which is to say, all of the Christians).
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Wow, let's not generalize or anything.
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#44
 2007-06-01, 01:59
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Elsrick 
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Revelation 21:8
But for the cowardly, unbelieving, sinners, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their part is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
Does that not say that EVERYONE is going to burn in a lake of fire and sulfur. How loving...
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#45
 2007-06-01, 02:06
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SAMMY249 
Regular
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Elsrick
Revelation 21:8
But for the cowardly, unbelieving, sinners, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their part is in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
Does that not say that EVERYONE is going to burn in a lake of fire and sulfur. How loving...
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He does love them but they rejected Him and without a cleanser they are sinful and God does not allow sin in heaven He gave them their chance and they rejected Him so he has no other choice but to fulfill His promises.
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#46
 2007-06-01, 02:16
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Re: Favorite Bible passages?
I like the Ethiopian Zion Coptic Churches interpretation of bible quotes. :D
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