sometimes i don't know what or why i do the things i do, I've been blanking my current girl friend, who've I been with since Feb'... so she shows up at my place, and I'm giving her the cold shoulder straight through, every answer or response is as if I was suggesting "uhh, just fuck off", and she just wanted to know what was up, she never once mentioning how i blanked her for an entire two weeks!
I was intentionally trying to make it uncomfortable for her, by keeping silent and playing busy, but she just took my camera and just started goofing around... and that lighten up my mood some, so much so that we just started chatting -- and the funny thing is, she actually apologized for being caught up with stuff and letting our communication fade like that. ...oh man.
And just those few hours talking (her on my leg) just made me feel wonderful, like wow.

Yet, I know how great it feels to just be with someone, one and one, but 2 days from now I'm not going to feel like this, and I'm going to see some chick and I'm going to flirt, put in the work and time and I will try to fuck her or at least get as close to scoring as possibles. But fucking why, just for a bunch of uncertain feelings and stress?
I pump myself up trying to lay some chick that isn't necessarily as good looking or great as whoever I'm with, and as a result I just start ignoring my real relationship.
I keep telling myself "do it for the trill", what fucking trill man?! Seriously what's the point of having a girl on the side, or one night stands? At an earlier age I'd do it and be thinking; "bitch... fucking pimping" +1 ego, I just do it now for doing it sake.
but ever so often I'd get in a relationship and some girl makes me feel really awesome and I'd believe it's over, you've grown -- I love this girl ... then, old habits, then ignore, next relationship.

lol, it's funny because I was chatting up some girl on the phone on my way home and i was really fucking it up, and feeling shitty. Then my girl is there when I arrive and makes me feel better than good. I feel like such a loser right now. ...and I have know idea why I decided to write this out. why i'm being such an asshole? fuck Jai

What the fuck are you babbling about?

Stop being an egotistical asshole, you're just insecure.

when i read the title... i thought u gave guys blow jobs for money

What the fuck are you babbling about?


jai...your a loser

Maybe you're just in a middle of a new maturity step?

And, it's great to have a real girlfriend, because you know if you mess up the girl you're trying to get "on the side" then your girlfriend will still be there.

Personally, it's a very selfish thing for you to do... and people like you anger me:

"'Bitch... fucking pimping.' +1 ego"

I mean, I don't think you should act like that at any point in your life... But hey, maybe you're finally learning your lesson?

trill?.....trill??????
do you mean THRILL my jamaican friend.

when i read the title... i thought u gave guys blow jobs for teh lulz
Fixed