So tonight i'm giving her an ultimatum. I don't want to say what it is exactly, but lets just say option number 2 means we break up. I need to know, are ultimatums good ideas? bad ideas? do the generally work? i guess i just really want some advice, I am kind of scared of losing her after almost 2 years.

it depends,
we kinda need to know the other option+why to judge at all.
though in general, they can be not too great

If your scared of losing her, then don't give her an ultimatum.

I hope for your sake it's nothing like "I want anal sex, or I'm leaving". Chances are she'll leave just cause your an insensitive bastard.

Discussions are better than ultimatums. If you decide to break up after discussing it like adults, then thats fine.

haha, no, not anal sex. I'm gonna call her in a bit and i think i'm just gonna talk it out with her, if that doesn't work then ultimatum it is.

I think it totally depends what the ultimatum is.

Are you not telling because you're ashamed or it's a bit too personal? (It's the internet!)

Wow, way to be all mysterious and secretive. Especially when I can almost guarantee its some bullshit trivial matter that noone gives a rats ass about, like 'omg, stop talking to that cute guy in first period or we're breaking up'.

You're a fucking moron. Why do you even bother asking for advice based off of one tiny sliver of the story?

honestly dude, i don't care what you think of me. I really just wanted to know if anyone here has ever given/been given an ultimatum and how it turned out. Have you ever been in a relationship for 2 years? do you know what its like to love someone to the point where you just feel like you might have to let them go?

It depends on what kind of girl she is.
If she's the wilting flower type, she'll cave and do what you want. If she's the strong willed, bitchy type, you can kiss your relationship goodbye.
Quite honestly when someone I'm in a relationship tries to pull that rubbish on me, it triggers the 'O rly' center of my brain.

honestly dude, i don't care what you think of me. I really just wanted to know if anyone here has ever given/been given an ultimatum and how it turned out. Have you ever been in a relationship for 2 years? do you know what its like to love someone to the point where you just feel like you might have to let them go?

And people love people to the point they feel they have to let them go because...?

And I'm fairly sure he's a bit older... So he probably has at least some idea and been in lengthy relationships.

Ultimatums are only useful if you're looking for a negative outcome...

A. she stays and resents you, then leaves you
B. she leaves you

Discuss it with her first... you've been in this relationship for 2+ years... you should know by now long relationships take a little work and finesse... don't try to force her arm to get your way... if you feel it's that important to you and she loves you enough most likely she'll want to work something out with you... respect gains respect

Ultimatums usually do not end in happiness.

In your case, your secrecy suggests that you are embarressed because know you are wrong and she is right.
Thus, I predict that you will be dumped.

If someone gives me an ultimatum I usually take it as a sign the relationship is over.

If you can't work it out, man up and just end the relationship. Don't go to the trouble of creating extra drama by forcing the other person to choose.

To me, ultimatums just feel like a statement of powerlessness. (real word?)

Just talk it over, but don't give her an ultimatum, don't try to control her.

Ultimatums are generally, aka almost always, a BAD IDEA. It generally wont solve anything, and will create a sense of resentment against you for limiting what the other person is doing.

If you want to change something, then it should be dont through a conversation, not through threats. And if its something that could become worse, drugs, alcohol, promiscuous sex, etc. Then the ultimatum will most likely push the person even more into what you are trying to get them to stop.

Having both given, and received ultimatums in a long relationship, i can tell you that it wont do your relationship in the least.

I once got in an argument with my girlfriend and she started ignoring my emails and stuff, so I sent her one "if you don't wanna talk to me by so and so its over." Guess what? Its over.