Well, to make a long story short, me and my gf are idiots, honestly, we are, we found out the other day that she's pregnant, this should be a good thing, but we arent ready to have a kid together, we've been together for 2 years and are engaged, but at this point in our lives we cant support a child, and it was stupid of us to have unprotected sex...

Now on to what i started this thread about, we've decided that shes going to get an abortion (believe me, we are both against abortion, but we honestly cant see a good life for this kid if we keep him/her). I know what most of you are gonna say, if you aren't prepared to raise a kid, you shouldn't be having sex (then again i might be wrong about everyone saying that, this IS &T after all) So my question is, have any of you guys had experience with a girlfriend getting an abortion? Or ladies, have you gotten one? I dunno, i guess i just need advice on how to help my gf through this, i know its going to affect her a lot, and i know she'll probably never forgive herself for having an abortion, i just need some advice on i dunno... i guess, things i can do to help her out.

I know shes going to be depressed for a little while after that, and probably not want to have sex for even longer, but i can live with that(the long time without sex thing, not her being depressed) so please totse, someone give me some advice, experiences, anything, i just dont know what to say or do now. And sorry if threads like this get posted all the time, i almost never visit S&A.


Edit: and precautions against something like this happening again are already being taken, ive gone out and spent over 100$ on condoms and she got the pill and is going to be starting it as soon as all this is over with.

As long as you're both sure that abortion is the right thing to do in this situation, then I personally see no problem with it. You should make sure that your girlfriend is 100% prepared to go through this, because it is (obviously) going to be a LOT more gruelling for her than it is for you. I've never been in your situation before, but I have had a few close calls and I can't imagine how hard a decision it must have been for both of you. Hope it all goes well.

Also - no offence, and sorry to hijack you thread, but this is one of the reasons I dislike the anti-abortion school of thought: people are always prepared to take the moral high-ground and condemn others until they find themselves in a sticky situation themselves - that's when you see the more fickle side of human nature exposed. I'm not criticizing you or your girlfriend directly by any means; more the fundamentalist Christian types who secretely pay for little Jessica's abortion while censuring working-class, inner-city kids for doing the exact same thing. Just my two pence (yeah, I said pence).

Once again, best of luck to you both :)

As far as I know, if she has an abortion, chances are it will affect her fertility, and not in a good way.

And anyway, you love each other, you're gonna get married, it's your child, why get an abortion? Money is one of those things that you just never have enough, so unless your financial situation is really that bad, maybe you could give it a second thought?

And no, I'm not a fundamentalist Christian, and I'm not against abortions in general.

Aha floyd, what i meant by against abortion, was, that before this we never even considered abortion, not that we condemned people who have done it. I mean honestly, it just wasn't something we ever discussed, or if we did, it was a "i'd rather not have an abortion, but if theres no other choice, i will" type thing. We both live our lives with the "to each their own" motto, we've never preached against abortion, and we're both agnostic. I know you weren't saying all that directed towards me in particular, i just felt that i should clear it up. What i meant by against abortion, was that we both dont like the idea of it, but if we have to have one, we will. I know it sounds hypocritical, but we seriously are having this abortion for the good of the child. We both know we couldn't support or handle having children right now.

Ahh, that's cool, I had a feeling you were coming from that kind of angle, I just wanted to vent a little about abortion in general. Sorry if I came off as a dick! You and your girlfriend sound like good people, and I'm sure that whatever happens, things will come good in the end. They tend to, with the right mindset!

Damn it i just had a long reply to agent 008 and firefox closed on me.

Ok, well, to sum up my original reply, our financial situation really is THAT bad, we both are working 2 jobs each, 7 days a week, just to be able to support OURSELVES, if we had a kid, the amount of money coming in will drop by half (if not more, because she does earn more money then me) we're struggling to support ourselves with the money we DO have, theres no possible way we would be able to raise a child with less then half of what we have now, there just isnt.

Don't let them put her on medication afterwards. Things like prozac just don't work the same for abortions, it's a different kind of depression. That's about all i know. Good luck dude.

I'd like to say that it's wrong to kill a child just because it might make your life harder, but in reality, that's bullshit. If you're both sure that's what you want to do, then do it. And there's no reason at all to feel guilty or bad about it at all - it's your decision as to whether or not you want a child and it's your life that will be changed for better or worse.

fuck what they say, abort while there's time! its the only way out. don't fulfill people's suggestion of no abortion then you'll regret it when you're taking welfare and living in a mobile home.

or you could give it to a foster home but...fuck that... yeah abortion.

wow... turn of events here, we're even more idiotic then first thought. She took a second pregnancy test, and it turns out, SHES NOT PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, atleast according to one test, we're gonna wait a week, take a second, and get her blood tested, just to make sure. But right now, im the happiest mother fucker alive.

lol wow. i don't know what to say :p

For the edification of anyone out there thinking of getting an abortion: If you think getting it is the right thing to do, then it probably is.

However:

I speak from personal experience that it destroys the relationship you were in. Your love will fade away, and you'll always have that question lingering in the back of your mind: what if I had it?

Did the possibility of adoption ever enter your conversations?

Or the possibilty of a loose pussy for along time and nice strech marks to look at while your fucking the bat cave?

Congratulations :)

Look up RU 486. A better alternative to surgical abortion. It'll be like she's having a really heavy period for about 2 weeks.

Haha, congratulations man.

edit: ha, awesome luck

If this is a false alarm, you're one lucky guy. I hope you learned a valuable lesson.

Yes, yes we have, and i have actually looked up RU486, it just isnt available in canada yet. And adoption did enter the conversation, but she would hate that even more then abortion, knowing someone else was raising her child, yknow? Anyway, thanks for all the help guys, much appreciated. :)

is it not?!
gosh, that stuff's been in england for ages. there's also that old method for really reeeeally early on where they like.. suction it out.. there are even ways you can buy the pilly stuff online in really severe circumstances to do yourself.