and I really loved her. A lot. But after we broke up I didn't feel anything. I didn't even really care. I wasn't even on opiates or anything. Strange huh.

How long were you with her?

well...either you're bipolar or you're going through the pre-wallowing phase...before you notice how much it sucks to be single... when (not if) you start sitting around thinking about how alone you are in the world, it'll probably suck more. for now, surround yourself with friends and tell her you aren't over her yet. see where it goes from there

I think part of the reason I dont care much is because i realized that i can go back to drugs and then i wont care anymore anyway

That is sad as fuck. And it's sadder because you don't care.

It sounds like the initial shock of a breakup, it'll wear off and you'll probably post another bulletin and drown your sorrows in opiates and meaningless hookups.

It is. I dont know what's wrong with me. Maybe it'll hit me in a few days. Maybe the diphen will hit me in a few minutes. Who knows?

But seriously, i am starting to feel sad now... maybe its like an emotional delayed reaction, i mean its not like i didnt love her, i loved her with all my heart.


Basically what happened was, her friends found out i was going out with her (not some big secret or anything)

they started to either cuss her out constantly when she was around them or they would just give her the silent treatment bullshit (apparently it's some big deal to girls) because they wanted her to be going out with some other dude

But she told me it was worth it since she really liked me and wanted to go out with me. Guess not since today she started getting all depressed and shit and told me

"I'm so sorry... but i can't take it anymore... i'm really sorry about this... but i don't think we should go out anymore"

The old me is saying "man you should feel all depressed and shit right now" and the new, three months ago to now me is saying "dude DGAF, what the fuck ever... its no big deal, hit up the 7-11, get some DXM or dig up some vike or some shit and just kick it."

I dont know, im trying to kill the like constant opiate "chill" feeling inside of me... i hate not being able to feel any emotion... it fuckin sucks... thats part of the reason im doing diphen now, it makes me easily agitated. my dad simply stood near me and i starting sweating and turning red out of pure anger

Fuck man i dont know what to do

Maybe because you burned out all the pleasure points in your system through the abuse of OPIATES, you can't feel anything. Or everything is delayed. Or you're simply blocking all that shit out of your mind. I assume you're a guy, it's that stoicism thing.

You need to cut it out with all the drugs. It's not helping you any.

^ What he said.

You didn't have immediate emotion. I'm the same way, it's hard for me to be dramatic because I can't really get THAT worked up.

I've been like this since I was 16 or 17. I hated it. But as I grow, I realize I'm taking a different look on emotions. And reworking everything. I've completely ditched the way I managed my emotional stability as a kid and am now in limbo. I'm still trying to define how I want these feelings to affect me.

Just let it stew for a while.

Edit: It sounds like she broke up with you, dude.

It's probably just a defense mechanism. Give it a few days, you'll break down. Probably at the least opportune moment, but that happens.

C'est la vie.

i wasnt like a fuckin hardass morphine heroin or fentanyl user

it was all vike

It sounds like she broke up with you, dude.

Same fuckin' idea.

Yeah its hurting now. I'm glad, honestly. It's been a while since I've felt actual emotion, I've just been blotting it out, nto even with drugs, just with apathy.

Oh my god, no!!!!

Are you human? Your responses don't really indicate that you are!

OP: I can't really put this into words, but I understand. It hasn't hit you yet. It's "The apathy stage", you're at the stage where you feel you have something to fall back on so you don't really need to feel it, and you aren't thinking past what happens after what you fall back on falls back!

I know that's probably terribly phrased, just get me some benzoyl methyl ecgonine and I'll be your freud. ;)

Hey sorry, I just read the rest of this thread and I guess my post was a little too late. :p

Drugs FTW.

Either you loved her, or you liked to think you loved her.
Guess which it is hot shot :D

arx_