My parents want to make me play at a piano recital tommorow, but I don't want to. I was thinking about breaking my hand, but that's a little extreme.

So, Totse, I'm asking for your help. How can I get sick/feign sickness within the next 12 hours?

Syrup of ipecac

Eat a decent-sized pinch of dip or pouch tobacco


There are a lot of emetics out there, but those are probably the easiest for you to get.

Just say that you don't feel like going. State that it's not your "cup of tea".

If you break your hand, you will not only get to skip that gay little piano thing, you will also get a bottle full of fun from the doc.

It's a double win situation. So start slamming some doors!

Middle Finger+Throat=Easy way out.
Toothbrushes work too.


Sleep with your window open at night if it's cold and don't use a blanket.
It'll be hell but it'll get you sick.

Sleep outside, it's even better.


Theres no way out without going through some pain to do it

LISTEN TO THIS BECAUSE I'VE TRIED IT AND IT WORKS

Right when you go to bed get:

-1 Cup
-2 eggs
-1 piece of bread

Mix all of those together and it looks, and smells, like puke.

Just run to the bathroom and spill this mixture as you go then pour the rest on the toilet, being sure to spill some in the cracks.

In the morning ask your father to help you clean up the mess and say you're too sick to go to piano recital. Voila!


(Oh and btw, why are you doing piano if you don't enjoy it...are you asian?)

Can we arrange some sort of money transfer deal just so you'd shut up?!

Just spend the day in the bathroom. Tell them you have diarrea. The wont need to enter and see the poo right?

Don't be so sure...

Just play the piano you stupid pussy. It's fun and you won't have to be a pansy faking your own sickness.

However, if you really don't have enough self confidence to get up in front of a group of people, or you're too immature to realize playing piano is actually awesome, just stick your fingers down your throat when you don't have an empty stomach. Do it in the bathroom, or for an even greater effect, do it about 2 seconds before walking into a room where your parents are.