Alright, I can see that on here there are a lot of threads with people talking about how to get someone to sleep with you. Confidence, cockyness, whatever works. But what about trying to make someone fall in 'love', whatever love means to you (a.k.a. the Prince Charles definition)? Either someone who you've been having a fuck buddy type relationship you want to take further, or a previous girlfriend/boyfriend you want to get back, or even someone new that you're not interested in just for the sex, or even something else.

What do you do to stimulate feelings? I'm not super inept at this, just wondering about different peoples opinions and theories. So yeah.

Be her knight in shining armor. SHAZAAAAAAM

Yeah that works, but I've done that before, now there aren't any problems to save her from.

So create a problem and save her from it?

I don't know. Maintain physical attraction. Go work out, get a make over. Then be her 'emotional tampon' as it's been put. I don't read dating guide, but lots of S&A males only knowledge comes from them and a few failed attempts at love and live in general. Lots of people who read online dating guides will tell you not to be there for her on an emotional level. That's a load of shit. Be there for her in an emotional sense, and be physical with her. True love can only come once you're physically, emotionally and spiritually satisfied. Is she intelligent? Give her some credit and have meaningful and deep conversations. Stimulate her mind. Stand out from the throngs of guys throwing them selves at her by actually using your brain. Remember the things about her that you'd want remembered about your self. Special dates, pet hates, things she mentions in passing and would expect you to forget. AND BE PHYSICAL WITH HER.

I cannot stress that enough. That's what will stop you from becoming just a friend to her. Best thing to just watch movies while very close to each other. Caress her. Let her know that you love her body and can't keep your hands off her.

Don't mention girls that you've been with or girls that are interested in you. But try and subtly let her know that there is interest in you (providing there actually is, don't fake it). Don't devote your self to her. Go out, have a social life, don't let her know about your where abouts at all times of the day.

This is all pretty basic stuff, but it would get an average girl to fall in love with you. Most of all, be your self, and only adopt techniques if you can put your own little spin on it. Regurgitating what you've learn elsewhere will only set the bar at a standard you can't maintain. An example: Lets say we give you a fucking awesome idea, you put it into practice, she responds really well. You come back to totse, and we help you again. Sweet. Then you come back again, and no deal. No one gives you a good or decent response. She's become accustomed to this brave, daring and quite 'unique' Ex Deus Machina, yet he's run out of ideas, totse has run out of ideas, and he can no longer keep up the facade.

Every thing we say, make it your own. Do what feels right.

Goodluck. Oh, and give us more information and we could give more accurately tailored advice.

You can't make somebody fall in love with you, not truly. You just have to be the right person for them, and them for you. That's why it's so much more valuable than sex.

You're entirely right. But one thing people need to realize is that there are literally millions of people you're compatible with. Providing you're not an amputee albino midget with spachelors for arms.

Love is special, but it's hardly unique.

You're entirely right. But one thing people need to realize is that there are literally millions of people you're compatible with. Providing you're not an amputee albino midget with spachelors for arms.

Love is special, but it's hardly unique.

Well, there's love and then there's love, you know? You probably could make somebody more likely to love you--or feel like they do--by acting a certain way, but you couldn't make somebody fall in love with you.

Yep, can't make 'em fall in love. Really. Well, you can. But still.

I find charm, and a vivid imagination works. Talk to them like they're not there, as if you're sharing your innermost thoughts with them.

Be out-of-reach, but only for them. Out of this world, not on this planet, but so that they know everything about you, and nothing at all. Ultimate (smart-opposites-word), total wonder in their eyes.

Just confuse them in a way that they want more. They have to know more.

Yeah, more information.

She's my ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me and has said that there might be a chance of us getting back together in 6 months or something, if she feels the same as she used to. There are a million reasons why her feelings changed, the relationship went down hill, she had some tough stuff in her life that she just bottled up, and it's affecting just everyday things for her, like our relationship.

So I've gotta give her some time and let her sort stuff out as she called it, or fuck other guys as &totse has called it, and then go back and try again. But I don't want to just be hanging round for the whole time, I want something I can do that might re-ignite the attraction she felt towards me.


Most of what you said is pretty basic stuff, and stuff I've already worked out. But also it's a problem because I can't be physical with her at the moment, or for a long time, or it would defeat the whole purpose. Last time before we went out we were 'close' for about 6 months before hand, and as much as I wish we could be like that now, it can't happen for a long time either. So basicly all I can do is be the 'emotional tampon', go out and do stuff, and work out. All which I was already thinking about doing. But it's good to have it reinforced.

And none of it would be regurgitating totse either. Even I can see that that'd be a bad idea, and also no matter how people try, you can't tell people what to do in their life, so yeah.

Cheers guys still. Got some stuff to think about now. But keep going if you think of anything. I've got 6-8 months.

Yeah, more information.

She's my ex-girlfriend, who broke up with me and has said that there might be a chance of us getting back together in 6 months or something, if she feels the same as she used to. There are a million reasons why her feelings changed, the relationship went down hill, she had some tough stuff in her life that she just bottled up, and it's affecting just everyday things for her, like our relationship.

So I've gotta give her some time and let her sort stuff out as she called it, or fuck other guys as &totse has called it, and then go back and try again. But I don't want to just be hanging round for the whole time, I want something I can do that might re-ignite the attraction she felt towards me.


Most of what you said is pretty basic stuff, and stuff I've already worked out. But also it's a problem because I can't be physical with her at the moment, or for a long time, or it would defeat the whole purpose. Last time before we went out we were 'close' for about 6 months before hand, and as much as I wish we could be like that now, it can't happen for a long time either. So basicly all I can do is be the 'emotional tampon', go out and do stuff, and work out. All which I was already thinking about doing. But it's good to have it reinforced.

And none of it would be regurgitating totse either. Even I can see that that'd be a bad idea, and also no matter how people try, you can't tell people what to do in their life, so yeah.

Cheers guys still. Got some stuff to think about now. But keep going if you think of anything. I've got 6-8 months.

If she wants to start seeing you again it's because she is feeling attraction towards you.
Don't just wait for it to become official etc.
In responce to what sehe said, just say "hmm, maybe. Would you like to hang out or something and see how it goes?"
Use that time to do what other the other people have said.

Out of this world, not on this planet, but so that they know everything about you, and nothing at all. Ultimate (smart-opposites-word), total wonder in their eyes.

what the fuck does this even mean?

Be yourself. Indulge in your thoughts and desires.

Otherwise it's fake.

Love?

Just be honest and hope it doesn't kill whatever feelings they have for you. Like Euda said, anything other than an honest relationship is going to be fake.

You're a clingy person. You killed the attraction that existed by being emotionally needy and most likely jealous. You called her too often. You wouldn't stop humping her leg.

Ring any bells? The fact that you want a relationship rather than sex as a guy sets off huge alarm bells. You need to be more secure with yourself as a person because you've got a convincing bravado that you're roping the girls in with, and then you're scaring them off by pulling a 180, falling in love overnight, and acting like you're easy.

I bet she wanted 6 months right after you told her you loved her. The "I love you bomb" was DEFINEATELY in the first 2 months, probably the 2nd-6th week. You wanted to see her every day.



Here's a couple easy ones:

First off, act like more of a pussy while getting girls or less like one afterwards. Probably a little bit of both. Do a "Memoirs of a Geisha" pick up to depressed quiet girls. Then don't take them to bed until in the friend zone. Wait until they cry to you about something, and then escalate from being the shoulder to cry on, to being the rebound. They're already in love with you so by now, you'll have a god-damned stalker. To keep her from thinking it was a ploy to get her in bed, don't sleep with her, just make out with her all night and make her breakfast in bed. Right after the first kiss act confused and cautious. You: "Did that feel right for you?"... Her:"[cautiously] I don't know... Did it for you?" You: "[Hesitate]... Yeah I liked it. [smile, pause. Cautiously:] Want to try it again?"

Girls panic when they realize their about to have sex. Beat her to it, and don't even grope her tits all night. 2 hours later or 3-4 a.m. whichever comes later: "Feeling better?" [brush hair off her face] Her: "Yeah.[smile]" You: "Good.[smile] <insert pillow talk>" blah blah blah. It's all sincerity at this point, you should already be doing everything past the first kiss right anyway. Then, over the next two weeks, reverse the sincerity back in to the act you were putting on when you first hooked her. After the first two, you can start doing the stuff off my list of bored in a can. Only act sincere during pillow talk, and never let her get suicidal crazy freaking out. You're over duing the asshole. If you pick your target, and set the stage properly, you can be more of yourself than with a normal girl where you acted like a rockstar.

See if you can get with some crazy virgins. Watch the wedding crashers to get an idea of the type.

You want her to be so into you after the first time you fuck, you're scared she's going to start crying if she sees you talking to another girl.

If you ignore her when with friends, spend too much time with your friends.


The more you push her away, the less likely she is going to abandon you. Don't call her, and then sound distracted while talking to her. Solve crosswords while talking to her. Figure out a way to be dismissively busy. Only play shoulder to cry on when in bed with her, and immediately after making up after arguments.

Cuddling after sex should be you letting her hug you for 10 minutes without pushing her off. Not you hugging her for 30+ minutes.

Kiss her on her forhead, roll over and awkwardly put your arm around her shoulders. She'll think you don't want to but are trying.

Be 5 to 10 minutes late to every meeting with her after the first week. NEVER 5 to 10 minutes early. Ween her on the idea, and only apologize once, then try to act like it's no big deal. If she has to get dressed up, you can show up an hour early and say you need to make a stop on the way there.



Your problem is, that you are so desperate to keep stability in your life, you give doggie treat after doggie treat hoping to keep them around. If they get mad at you, you appologize too much, and if they seem disinterested, you get angry. "If they don't answer their phone, obviously they're are cheating on me."

You need to make the girl do something to deserve the doggie treats, and you need to act disinterested like you are settling for her out of laziness. It'll make her cling to you like you want her to because she'll think you are worth more than her and want to keep you around as a result.

Manipulating her into loving you sounds like a fantastic idea and to me is the very definition of love at its core. Great post.

Sounds like sarcasm. Nobody is that sincerely enthusiastic over my works of genius. Maybe I'm getting smarter though. Feels like I'm putting less effort in so I'm going to go with my first choice.



He's got a personality flaw. You can either reconstruct your personality and behaviors, or you can wait for that perfect someone who there's a good chance will never come.

I'll tell you which one is less likely to lead to domestic disputes. You wait for the perfect someone, 2 desperate people with fucked personalities get together to compliment eachother and feed off each other's wacko.

Fix your personality and bring it more in-sync with non-disfunction, you've just widened your selection immensely and will be happier for it.

Conventional wisdom is wait because convention is set by the majority who are undetermined. Personality reform is a major task and is not for the timid. The less disfunctional you are, the more likely you are just experiencing something known as "dating." It's perfectly wonderful advice for people having inconsistent problems, but if you're getting the same results with different people, it's not bad luck. It's YOU. People have a minor number of things in common, so if you're getting the same results, it's because of the related commonality.

what the fuck does this even mean?

GTFO,

Incase that was related to me, or to anyone else thinking that about me;

I'm not trying to manipulate her into falling in love with me. If it sounded like that to start off I must have made a mistake in my explanation. Thing is, she said she loved me first, so it wasn't me dropping that. I think that we were both 'fucked up personalities' to begin with, that's why it was so fucking amazing. But then other people got involved and told her she should be otherwise. And it screwed things up.

So what I'm trying to do, is not manipulate her to love me. I just want to know what I can do while she calms down, to stimulate the re-ignition of some of her old feelings, that may or may not still be there now. I don't want to trick her into wanting to be with me. I just want to create interest in me again, so that when she realises that things are different, she'll do the whole falling back in love thing by herself, and it will be honest.

And yeah, personality change is hard. I'm going the brute force method. I'm making myself do things differently. Takes effort, and probably isn't the easiest way of doing it. But I don't have to rely on anyone doing it for me.

Well, I think you're delusional, but then again, girlfriends friends are the ones that break up with you. Not the GF.(they make cry's for attention) That's why you have to walk the fine line of neutrality with them. Don't make them like you or they will try to break you both up so they can steal you from them in a classic best friend move. Don't make them dislike you or they will try to break you up because they think you're bad for her.

You sound like you have one-itis. You can either break her up with her friends by telling her that they made a move on you, "This was <bff>'s doing wasn't it?"
"What has she been saying about me?" She's just trying to break us up because <her "bff"> wants me! She tried to kiss me at that one thing while you were in the bathroom!""You know, that place over there by the bay! Remember?"

Or you can find another girl. You'll do what you'll do.

And that's the hardest part, because although I may have one-itis, I'm no longer with the one, so everything that would normally make sense, doesn't.

All I want to try and do is develop feeings in her for me the fastest way I can, without chloroform or anything like that. After that I'm sorted, because I realise everything that went wrong there. Well most of it in any case.

I'm not sure if I read your whole post. There's two girls?! I thought you were trying to get back with the first. Is this like that one top 40 song with the ex-girlfriend? Sounds like Nickelback... "Wish it were you" blah blah blah "MOOVE ON!"

Anyway, obviously I need to reread the original post before continuing.

Tired + late = meh

One girl, trying to get back with her again.

Make sense?

But if you make somebody love you is it true love? If you have to change your behaviour to be appealing to someone are you truly appealing to them, or is it that they are appealing to you and you want to draw parallels between yourself? Wouldn't you rather love them as they love you, and reverse?

Love is a form of an obsession. Usually it is a positive obsession although not always. DD says that to create an obsession you have to create an emotional rollercoaster with rewards and punishments that come in random spurts. This is just like gambling, America's biggest obsession.

For example, when she does something good, smack her on the but, and tell her its because she was a good girl. Other times, don't do anything, and other times, respond positively. Always keep it unpredictable. Keeping it FUN and not ABUSIVE is probably most important. You dont want a stalker.