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| Sex and Affection Anything and everything about sex and relations. Please try to keep this forum on-topic, since things tend to wander a bit. Search through old topics before posting a new one, as questions get repeated a lot here. |
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# 1

2007-04-27, 10:19
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Regular
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Chula Vista CA USA
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Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Right now around my school we're having our "Break the Silence" week. It's just your typical anti-rape/anti-domestic violence awareness deal.
Now that's fine and I support that. My problem is with these whiney little posters with phrases like "May I kiss you?" or "Ask first" they've started putting up.
This bugs me because I never ask before I kiss someone. Even my female friends admit it's pretty wimpy when a guy has to ask. What ever happened to just reading the signs? Spontenaity? Or taking a little charge in the relationship?
Now if it were advertising things like "No, means no" I'd have no problem. This sort of stuff though, it doesn't help. All it does is it gives men the idea that they have to be emasculate little boys who ask permission for everything.
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# 2

2007-04-27, 10:23
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Regular
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An illusion
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Yeah.
"Ooh do you mind if i put my penis inside your vagina thrust back and fourth for an indefinite period of time then ejaculate my semen into this latex condom ?"
...It really is a mood killer. Yes i think this truly is political correctness gone utterly insane. It is almost a step towards the daunting Orwellian prophecies from 1984.
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# 3

2007-04-27, 10:25
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
No, you don't. That's fucking ridiculous. I agree with you entirely. But think about it this way: the more misinformation others believe, the more girls for you.
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# 4

2007-04-27, 17:13
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Acolyte
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down
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Quote:
Originally Posted by inverted
Yeah.
"Ooh do you mind if i put my penis inside your vagina thrust back and fourth for an indefinite period of time then ejaculate my semen into this latex condom ?"
...It really is a mood killer. Yes i think this truly is political correctness gone utterly insane. It is almost a step towards the daunting Orwellian prophecies from 1984.
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not asking is often called rape
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# 5

2007-04-27, 17:35
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Don't try an pretend that people actually take any of that shit seriously. That just gives pussies a scapegoat for not getting laid. All that shit has been around since the 70's, it is nothing 'new', nobody else is complaining that posters are preventing them getting laid except YOU!
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# 6

2007-04-27, 17:35
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
There are ways to ask without it ruining any mood. Just go with the flow and realize that a person can ask a question without ever saying a word.
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# 7

2007-04-27, 17:51
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
"Are these my lips or yours?"
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# 8

2007-04-27, 17:54
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Regular
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minnesota
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
i dont ask. i find asking kinda runs the moment. cause she knows its coming right then. i would rather just out of the blue (if it feels right) just go in for the kiss. last time i asked. she said "i dont feel ready" and the last time i took charge i got laid. so i think i will stick with taking chrage. cause girls like that kinda thing in a guy anyway so its like killing two birds with one stone.
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# 9

2007-04-27, 18:25
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Regular
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Belfast Northern Ireland
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
If it's a bad call to kiss, she should reject you. Most girls if they aren't interested, won't kiss back.
If other things follow, there's an easy way of letting them follow without breaking either the mood or the law.
When things are progressing, look her in the eyes with a sly smile and ask with a raised eybrow "Do you wanna?".
You don't have to spell it all out, just a simple smirking question.
Worked for me a few times. Helps if you have a gruff voice.
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# 10

2007-04-27, 19:11
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Lulz, just turn it into a joke, and use it to your advantage 
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#11
 2007-04-27, 19:12
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flash 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
The only time you ever ask a girl if you can kiss her is if she's a complete stranger you just met a couple seconds ago and it's almost midnight on newyears. Other then that, dive right in, it's not rape.. unless they stop you and you continue.. can that be considered as rape or is rape only intercourse? I dunno. I've lost my train of thought.
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#12
 2007-04-27, 21:29
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Saint947 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
lol- My best relationship began two years ago with the line "So uh.... are we going to make out now...?"
18 years old, and not a fucking clue- I pwn.
~Saint947
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#13
 2007-04-27, 22:39
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Pilsu 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
You could go ask the teachers to tell the people arranging the week to rethink their catchphrases if they don't want to seem like they're 70 year old virgins. Laughing behind the guys' backs doesn't exactly help them and they don't deserve to be simply ridiculed for meaning well with this stuff
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#14
 2007-04-27, 23:13
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Blue_Yonder 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by flash
The only time you ever ask a girl if you can kiss her is if she's a complete stranger you just met a couple seconds ago and it's almost midnight on newyears. Other then that, dive right in, it's not rape.. unless they stop you and you continue.. can that be considered as rape or is rape only intercourse? I dunno. I've lost my train of thought.
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This is sketchy legal ground. Intercourse is rape. Same if you were doing something that was obviously leading to rape (eg: she has to fight you off her). Realistically though, kissing, fondling, etc. usually will fall under harrassment. But that's only if you don't stop and she has to ask twice.
Btw, since some people are taking this the wrong way. I'm not asking for advice. My mind is made up on this. I'm just getting this off my chest.
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#15
 2007-04-27, 23:17
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Blue_Yonder 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Pilsu
You could go ask the teachers to tell the people arranging the week to rethink their catchphrases if they don't want to seem like they're 70 year old virgins. Laughing behind the guys' backs doesn't exactly help them and they don't deserve to be simply ridiculed for meaning well with this stuff
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I doubt it's the teachers doing this. They look more like something churned out by a public service dept. Either way it doesn't matter. It's what this stuff stands for in terms of men's roles in society that bugs me.
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#16
 2007-04-27, 23:20
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thatcoolkid 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Ya, if it's awkward and you want to kiss her and ask, it'll just make it more awkward. Even if she wants to kiss you it's not as...natural/chemistry like if it just happens.
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#17
 2007-04-28, 00:37
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
I've always proceeded an actual kiss with some hand holding, cuddling a kiss on the lips, etc.
I've never tried to kiss somone and been shot down, and I've never had to ask. Not that I've kissed many women...but still...you can kinda tell, can't you?
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#18
 2007-04-28, 00:48
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OdayJuarez 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Blue_Yonder
Right now around my school we're having our "Break the Silence" week. It's just your typical anti-rape/anti-domestic violence awareness deal.
Now that's fine and I support that. My problem is with these whiney little posters with phrases like "May I kiss you?" or "Ask first" they've started putting up.
This bugs me because I never ask before I kiss someone. Even my female friends admit it's pretty wimpy when a guy has to ask. What ever happened to just reading the signs? Spontenaity? Or taking a little charge in the relationship?
Now if it were advertising things like "No, means no" I'd have no problem. This sort of stuff though, it doesn't help. All it does is it gives men the idea that they have to be emasculate little boys who ask permission for everything.
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Look up "The Mystery Kiss Close" if you have trouble with this issue. If you spend a little bit of energy learning womens body language and learning the concept of kino escalation you shouldn't need that tactic. It's a good idea anyway.
Those posters are feminist dogma directed at rapists. It's kinda pointless outside of corrupt tax bullshit. As if rapists are going to pay attention.
It really translates to: "if you aren't smooth enough to understand the subtext of this poster, you're probably better off taking it litterally than imitating more experienced men incorrectly and or adopting misogynist attitudes which will really just be exagerated by taking these posters litterally which would result in frustration with any girl who is a challenge for you."
Ignore feminists. It's a cry for help bullshit shit test to scare off little boys. If you really want to understand the psychology behind feminism just search for "feminist" by "OdayJuarez." It's essentially misguided women thinking they are playing hard to get because they've been abused and are scared by men.
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#19
 2007-04-28, 01:14
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CatharticWeek 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
I never ask to kiss someone, but I'll run my hand through her hair (or something) and gently guide the side of her jaw so our eyes meet.
If she were to freak out I'd stop, but I don't think anyone has yet.
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#20
 2007-04-28, 01:54
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Pilsu 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
I doubt it's the teachers doing this. They look more like something churned out by a public service dept.
If you'd pay attention, you'd notice that I suggested for the teachers to convey the feedback. They probably know who's arranging it
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#21
 2007-04-28, 10:50
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Mik-O 
Regular
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Saint947
lol- My best relationship began two years ago with the line "So uh.... are we going to make out now...?"
18 years old, and not a fucking clue- I pwn.
~Saint947
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hahaha
that fucking rules
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#22
 2007-04-28, 11:21
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Regular
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Tea and Crumpets country
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
"Ooh do you mind if i put my penis inside your vagina thrust back and fourth for an indefinite period of time then ejaculate my semen into this latex condom ?"
LOL
Oh man that's worth trying just for the fun of it.
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#23
 2007-04-28, 14:37
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Moderator
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The fine line between genius and madness
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Re: Do You Ask to Kiss Her?
Let me tell you something from experience. Nothing kills the mood faster than asking. If you're misreading things, she's usually just push you off, but really not give a damn. Unless she's a bitch and decides to give you a dirty look.
Despite what TV says, you won't get smacked.
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