Right. I know the title might be slightly misleading, but it's all I could come up with. So if a mod thinks of a new one I'll change it, if not it'll stay.

I need to be able to go from boyfriend mode to friend mode for a few months. Yesterday I was left by my girlfriend of 1 and a half years, who was the closest friend/friend with benefits that I had for another 6 months prior to that.

She said she needed to sort herself out and all that stuff you get told when someone doesn't want to feel bad about leaving you. I asked her if she thought that in a month or two we might be able to get back together, and she said it wasn't out of the picture, but she didn't want me waiting around or putting my life on hold or any other cliche thing that people do.

So what I have to do, is I have to convince her that i'm not doing that, that I do just want to be her friend and not only because I want to get back with her, so that in however long I think it needs, I can ask her out again and it might have a chance of her giving me the right answer (which is "Yes, of course I'll go back out with you, I've missed you, I love you").

Any ideas of what I can do to stop myself making her feel like shit by seeing me upset, or for controlling myself for the few months so I don't end up pushing her away by talking about it too much? Or even to make the next few months more bearable while she is gone. Or to stop me worrying that she's going to be off fucking some other guy while I'm at home waiting?

No...

Start hanging out with and/or fucking other girls immediately. Because this will help you to stay "friends" with her when you see her with her new guy. Not trying to make you feel bad but that is why she left and fed you that line of bullshit about sorting herself out. So, unless you can keep your cool seeing her with another guy, this won't work. Replacing her quickly will help though. Good Luck

Yeah, I realise that that's probably the reason she left and said that and everything, but still. Thinking about seeing her with another guy and everything has made me think, and is hard, because of this. So yeah. I just don't know how easy it'll be replacing her with someone else I don't care about as much.

Wow, I just successfully linked my two new threads together without anyone noticing. I'm amazing. Doesn't make me feel better though.

Meh, I'm gonna go find me some NSA company for a while... Maybe it'll help me think things over.

You're a fucking moron.

I think the best thing to do is make her lust after you. You know how women want you more when you're taken? Well, get back in the game. Start flirting other women, etc. You don't want to be the desperate guy begging her. Just get out there.

Your best frame of mind is to move on like she's not coming back. Expecting you stick around and still talk to you while she's "sorting herself out" is fucking selfish. She wants to keep you around as a security blanket, but she still wants to go out there.

My advice is to stop talking cold turkey until she asks YOU out again. (Which by the way is the ONLY way that will happen) but I know how it is being young and in love and you don't have the fortitude. So your going to cry and talk about it anyway and ask her questions that she doesn't want to answer and end up pushing her away.

But hopefully my post gives some sort of insight. I've been her before, I know generally where she's coming from, and the more you display your dependence she's not going to get back with you.

Do you have a job? Get one or work more. Hang out with your friends more. When you miss her, examine your feelings - don't ignore them.

Of course I don't know her, I haven't talked to her, so I don't know her perspective. But I'd go so far as to say she's still likely to get back with you IFFFF you play your cards right and don't act like a baby.

Thats what i was just thinking, i think this is the best way to go about it.

Yes, just go have fun. It's her issue, not yours.

dont be around her, dont talk to her and just push yourself away, if she saids she needs to sort somethings out then let her. (not matter how much you think its bs) give her space now and seh'll want to be around you later