Alright, I figured this was as good a place as any to ask, so here's my problem. (Also, if I don't make sense it's because I'm sick as fuck and can't think straight)

Alright, so I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year now. She is my first girlfriend, but I am far from her first. Lately we have been having some problems. Normally I don't remember them unless I'm pissed off at her, so I guess I do a good job of ignoring it. So I will type them up as I remember them. Also, we are both 20, graduated high school, and not in college.

We'll start with this...

1. She conveniently forgets about ex-boyfriends till she meets up with them or is talking to her friends about them.

So I'll ask something like "who's Matt?" and she'll give me something like "Oh, I used to date him for like a week". So far it's only been with ones that she's dated for short periods of time and never had sex with, but still it bugs me...

How many boyfriends has she REALLY had if she so conveniently forgets to tell me about them? I had thought we got through that long ago... but apparently not.

2. She holds her Lesbian friend as a higher rank than me. What I mean is she considers her friend closer than she considers me. We've been dating for over a year, and she's #1 on my list, am I wrong to want an equal return? I also wold be willing to bet money that if I broke up with her, those two would get together.

3. three times now, she has promised she will spend all week with me, and three times she has broken that promise to hang out with her friends. Guess how many days I've had her to myself this week? Zero. She says she always has time to see me and never time for her friends, which evidence shows is quite the opposite as she has spent almost every day of this month hanging out with her all important friends.

I don't have a problem with her hanging out with friends. I'm not a control freak... But I do have problems when she says she'll spend time with me and uses the same damn excuse and acts as if I'm the on who's in the wrong for being upset. Basically she thinks the world revolves around her.

Also, I have far less friends than her, but I NEVER go anywhere she cannot go or would not want to go. Yet if I want to spend time with her, I have to go hang out with her and all the girls who do nothing but braid each other's hair and color in coloring books :S. Simply put, this doesn't amuse me in the slightest, and I'm always bored as fuck hanging out with her friends. Never have I inflicted this upon her, yet she continues to do this to me.

4. Every time we argue, about whatever it is, it is automatically my fault, she cries throws things etc, and nothing is ever resolved so I have no choice but to let things go and let her have her way. For example, if I try to calmly talk to her about problem #3, I get the same story of how she can spend any time she wants with me, and treats her friends as something rare and more precious and that I am being stupid if I am mad at her about it or that I am selfish or something...

5. she gets pissed off incredibly easy. This is why #5 is so difficult. Any little thing will set her off. She mouths off to her mom CONSTANTLY... yet if I tell her to calm down, I am taking her opponents side and she goes on acting like the world revolves around her...

6. and last but not least of my problems, I love her. I hate seeing her cry and that's why I can't simply get up and leave her, (that and I live with her in her moms house and if I left I'd be homeless and jobless).

I've tried talking to her about this stuff, but as explained in #5 and #6 it doesn't go well and nothing is solved. I'm really sorta lost as to what to do, because simply put, we don't get along as well as we used to.

if more details are necessary or if you have a specific question, feel free to ask and I will respond to the best of my ability. Every bone in my body feels like it was hit with a hammer, I'm nauseas, and I can't think straight, so don't expect a fast reply, although I will try...

if you read all of that, thanks for at least listening. If you have an answer, double thanks. Also, please don't reply with something short and stupid like "ditch that bitch", because as I know that breaking up must be left open as an option, I need more specifics as to what to do.

Don't let me down Totse...

Maybe this is a different stage of the relationship, and your personalities don't work as well together as the relationship gets more serious.

And my first reaction was "what a bitch."

Chill about the ex-boyfriend thing. Girls like to "feel" guys out. When I meet a guy that's somewhat interesting, not even necessarily good looking, I still want to see where he's coming from Unfortunately, male/female relations no matter how platonic can be confusing (especially in high school). Those guys are people she's learned from (what she likes, what she doesn't). In a way, they've helped her pick you. So chill, she doesn't mention them because they're not really blips on her radar.

I tell people I've had 2 relationships and currently in one. But there are guys I've had romantic moments with that weren't necessarily that big of a deal. Past partners are a fact of life, and as you get older its going to harrier so learn how to accept it.

A bond between females is important and strong. Don't try to come in between her and her friend. You're worried about RANK? Come on now, off of myspace? At least she's being truthful about how she feels, YOU cannot change that and can't bitch at her for it either.

You don't like hanging out with her friends, you always does what she wants, you wouldn't do anything she wouldn't.... TELL HER. Sit her down and have a conversation with her. IF you have to print this out with some additional points to get everything across to her. There's no one on totse that's going to help the activities you and your girlfriend choose except YOU. Obviously your previous approaches weren't right, so try to find a different way of saying it, watch your tone of voice, words you choose. That can make all the difference of whether she'll get defensive and put up a wall or actually listen. Do not accuse her, be careful how you describe your feelings, and tell her how you would like things to be. She doesn't know any better unless you tell her not what she's doing wrong, but what she can do RIGHT.

Number 4 is nothing you're going to change. You're either going to have to learn to live with it or reexamine your relationship. You won't change her mind about her friends. However, she'll has to learn that things cannot always go her way. My boyfriend gives me a lot of leeway with things, and I've learned to be more chill with him after noticing HOW MUCH he really lets me decide. So now I make sure to ask and take his opinion into consideration..... even if it ends up going my way. :)

Alright, the crying and throwing shit is totally fucking unacceptable. Is it frequent? If it's more than once a month or so, highlight this part for your conversation. That's totally unnecessary and she's being a drama queen. She can get her point across without crying and shit. And if she can't, she's manipulating you.

She expects you to read her mind. Look, these problems are the same problems I've had in the past and they've taken YEARS to try to fix. And they're not totally gone. It takes a lot of self-discipline to change behavior, but first she needs to recognize she's got a problem. Criticizing everything you do and getting mad at shit that you didn't even know was wrong. It needs to be dealt with on a situation to situation basis. If you want to help her, you're going to have to keep your cool. If you can't, she's going ot keep doing it until she ultimately pushes you out.

Oh, and my standard relationship advice:

Communication and honest is key, if you don't have it 100% your relationship is lacking.

AND

If the problem cannot be fixed, it's time to call it quits. If it can be solved, put all your effort in or don't do it all. Change doesn't happen over night.

thanks for the long reply MrMojo...

I do have a couple bones to pick about your comment so I'll lay them down first...

1. the rank thing has nothing to do with myspace... I don't even use myspace, but I'm taking it out of context there. I just mean that she verbally told me that she considers her best friend Jen closer than she does me.

and 2. the throwing shit stuff happens about once a month... so that one's a gray area...

don't get me wrong though, we do have our good times... it's just certain things irritate me and I have no way of debating them with her, and when I have gotten her to listen about problem #3, she goes and breaks her promise a third time...

so if anyone has more replies, they are quite welcome, and thanks for all the ones so far.

NEVER wonder too long about how many guys your girlfriend has been with. It only leads to bad things. Sounds like she's taking advantage of your loving streak too. Pretend you don't care what she does for a while and see her come back to you more often for it. Also, if she's starting to make you feel shitty about anything, ditch her. She's your girlfriend. If you have a partner who doesn't make you feel like a fucking hero, ditch them and move on, cos that's what they're for.

I'm gonna be straight with you man. You can't rely on other people, the ones that won't let you down are one in a million. It sounds like you're leaning on this girl a bit, like someone said above me you should try backing off a bit and see what happens. If she cares about you then she should come crawling back and will hopefully realise the way she has been acting isn't ok. If she doesn't then her loss.