Nothing to do with S&A as such but i thought it might amuse those of you who enjoy following the trials and tribulations of life dans Chez Ketch....in a kinda 'outta the mouths of babes' way.

Recently my youngest came to me (btw at age 16 he has got so big that small planets are sucked in by gravity of his wake).

Him:"daaaad, can you look for a book for me, please"

(translation note: 'look' = go on Amazon and buy)

Me:*slight state of shock at the thought of my child actually wanting to read a book* "UHM yes, sure ..why?"

Him:"I saw this program on the Documentary Channel about a guy called Donny Brasco, who went undercover in the Mafia"

Me:" Ok I'll pull it off Amazon for you but you do realise that it won't have pictures in, don't you?"

Him:"Daaad, don't be like that! I know its a proper book, since doing that special needs course my reading done got much more better".

(and yes that is exactly what he said, in all earnest. And no he isn't a retard, just 'missed' years of a lot of schooling due to being abused by his primary teacher)

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Your son's a slack jawed yokel.

well golly, I reckon ya'll need to move on down south!

How did his teacher abuse him?

Im seeing this a shitlot.

This is why teachers are redundant, because theyre people.
Grades are too fucking biased and personal these days.

Fuck school...

Holy shit! He doesn't post on TOTSE as "Highly Evolved," does he?

Anyways, special needs? Someone with your genes shouldn't have special needs. My guess is he was just screwing around. Both of my brothers were in TAG (Talented and gifted,) but I was considered mentally diminished for most of my early adolesence. If he was serious I would take him to a psychologist. My parents sent me to one and I got out of any and all of my special needs for pretty advanced classes (then I got kicked out of my math class because I never showed my work.) So, I pretty much got right back to square one....

The point is: I doubt he's dumb with your genes. Maybe he has a learning disability, like dyslexia.

At least he wants to read an interesting story.

Although, I do suggest advising him that Johnny Depp and Al Pacino are not in the book.

He actually wants to read a book. That's nonfiction. That is actually about something that was kinda important.

That puts him ahead of half the people I know, right there.

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You don't have to think I'm right, as long as you think.

Don't forget to condesend your son in a humerous way about he watched the Documentary Channel either.

No actually I encourage it. Seeing as almost no 'general knowledge' is now taught in school.

Example, the other day I was watching TV with a 3 of my sons. A picture of a famous man came on screen, an iconic picture.

I asked my sons who it was and none of them knew.


It was Fidel Castro.

I don't expect my sons to know the precise history of the Cuban revolution. Hell , I sure as fuck don't! But to be aware of the fact it happened, that it had and has far reaching implications for the US and the world.


But it isn't just my kids. One day the a couple of summers ago I came down stairs wearing an IRA t-shirt, as is my want. My kids and their mates were there (some of them academic high flyers).

One of them asked me what 'IRA' meant and why they were holding guns and wearing masks...

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There was a revolution in Cuba??

In all honesty, at gcse level we get taught jack shit about history apart from the world wars and what happened inbetween them. Im not even joking. Ive spent the last 2 years learning about how the Nazi party got control of the Reichstag.

So yea, if you ever wanna know anything about the Nazi's, ask me. 2 years of doing it for GCSE and I know my shit. Any other part of history and im screwed.

They teach us nothing in schools now.