I wonder about my appearance whenever I want to approach a girl. I've had kind of low self esteem since middle school and simply wish to know where I stand as far as attractiveness is concerned. I know I am garnering up flames here but I figure that I've made worse decisions (even on totse) and came out allright. So heres a question I pose to you:

If you saw this fellow that you've never met before in a bookstore/cafe/school/casual place to loaf around,
Bored: http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i197/wakkosmakka/?action=view&current=Picture9-1.jpg
Happy-ish: http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i197/wakkosmakka/?action=view&current=Picture4.jpg
Pointing?: http://s72.photobucket.com/albums/i197/wakkosmakka/?action=view&current=Picture12.jpg

and he smiled, what would be your first reaction? That is, what would you immediately think? Would you think "Well...I hope he has a nice personality" or "Oh look at that..."
or "whys this weirdo smiling at me?".

I just need some truth to help me get past a minor fear of just going up to girls. Input appreciated. Flames are always loved.

You look like you should be cleaning pools.

Its been a long day...didnt feel like keeping a decent looking shirt and clothes on. Well, Im hispanic so I guess I see where you get the pool cleaning stereotype. I dunno, maybe that comment of yours wasnt even meant to be taken racially. At any rate, Im glad I dont clean pools.

Not a chick, but a critique on your photos....

In the "happyish" one, the clarity is awful. The light behind you make its completely impossible to see your face. That could be a chick, a guy, Medusa, or Cousin It.

"Pointing" looks like you are about 5 minutes away from putting on a trenchcoat, grabbing an AK-47 and doing another Columbine.

And what is so bad about cleaning pools? I can think of a lot worse things. Would hot tubs be out of the question? Which leads to a serious question in and of itself. Is cleaning hot tubs a step UP or a step DOWN from cleaning pools? Things to ponder.......

Well, on a serious note you look like you should have no problems. I have a similar look to you and find myself being approached every so often and find those that I do approach pretty forthcoming. So yeah, you should be fine.

Generally, you'll find that stereotypically attractive girls will go for the dirty blonde, blue eyed surfer type, as opposed to 'tall, dark and handsome', looks, which can be somewhat annoying. Then again, I live in a place with a heavy 'Beach culture', so it could just be that.

Picture 4 is shit, but you have a cool Antonio Banderas thing going in the other two.

You've got some low ass self esteem. That's your one and only problem.

Other than that, I'd hit it

from a girl's perspective, you're not bad looking. in fact i'd say you're good looking. as long as you have a sense of humour and you're friendly, you're fine.

Get a haircut.

<3

You look like Satan.
Chicks dig that.

^Agreed, oh and you really do need to work on your confidence... you seem REALLY unsure of yourself.

It depends on how you carry yourself. I know women that would die to have a guy that looks like you. The hair, the dark skin, the exotic look. But all judgments on looks can sadly be dashed the second one opens their mouth. So it all depends on WHO you are and not necessarily what you look like. Play up your looks.

Your half way there, now be as confident as what your looks warrant and go get 'em!

I'm a dude, but I don't find you unattractive. Keep your hair tied back or possibly cut a little shorter.

I find that looks aren't as important to girls as they are to guys, as long as you can make them laugh you're sweet.

cut your bloody hair!

Get a haircut.

<3

qft. i hate guys with long hair.

Greasy hair is such a no no, and you pose like Tom Cruise!

And your a bit of a shallow concieted baby in my eyes. So NO!!!

Sorry Greaseball!.....Try myspace for the 11 year olds opinion.

I just asked my sister's opinion and she said you look "fine as hell" in the first pic, so congrats i guess. I don't think you're unattractive at all either, just try to gain a bit more confidence somehow.

I wouldn't mind having you clean my pool...

Durell was right about the Antonia Banderas similarity, and that should tell you something because he is fiine. I also think that in the first picture at least you look a bit like Orlando Bloom. Other than that, I'm just going to reiterate what everyone else is saying and tell you to bring up your self esteem. You're attractive, have a nice smile and good body..all you need to do is build up some courage to go get the ladies. :)

Get a haircut.


otherwise, props.

What kind of mental/psychological issues do you have that you can possibly think girls won't look at you because you're ugly? Do you have any idea the types of guys that can get good-looking girls? I'm a crazy example, *very* physically challenged, and all's it takes is a great personality to get a great girl, TRUST ME.

Concerning your question, I'm a guy that's as straight as the day is long and I'd say with your hair pulled back you're very handsome. Granted, I'm also hispanic, so I'm not sure if I'm bias'd due to that.

YOU LOOK FINE, TRUST ME. If you can't get girls, it's not because of your looks, though let me give some appearance advice: Start using facial creams/lotions/etc, you could use them. Make sure your hair doesn't look greasy, keep it washed/conditioned, especially at your length - that's a tough one & a bad stereotype to uphold for hispanics. Don't wear bad clothing. If you can afford a computer and an internet connection, I'm sure you can afford some nice threads here and there. But most importantly: be yourself and make sure you have a killer personality - in the end, (no matter what people say,) that's what counts to the girls.

I just looked at your picture again and I have a couple more things to point out: Big, hispanic guys like yourself have the worst fuckin' body odor - they sweat a lot and for some reason their skin is just naturally more oily than others. KEEP THAT SHIT CLEAN. A lot of times when I girl has a thing for you, she'll lean in close to you, hug you, make you hold her (just joking around usually), sit on your lap, etc, USUALLY INNOCENTLY. They do this to see if the guy they like is really the one they want to date. Don't scare them away by reeking. You'll also notice girls like complementing your hair/scent. Although hispanic hair is easy to get greasy (easier than a full blooded caucasian at least) you want to make sure you condition it as much as you can. And don't put any gels/hairsprays/etc in it - your hair fuckin' ROCKS naturally, just take care of it. Another thing about Hispanic hair is that sometimes it's so thick that chicks just love playing with it - so let them, but make sure you got it real smooth with lots of conditioner. A little cool thing about me - I'm a metrosexual in the bathroom, PERIOD. As soon as I leave that bathroom/shower-room, I'm back to being a manly asshole, but while you're in the bathroom/shower, nobody's looking at you, nobody can judge you, so make the best of it. Practice smiling in the mirror, I do, who knows about it? Nobody can see me, and I know deep down that I've got my smiles down. Check out your body in the mirror, again, nobody can see you. Get to know it. Get to know your best angles. Figure out what's awesome about you and casually make sure people know about it. We all have awesome characteristics, and we all have shitty ones. The key to being "cool" is NOT to show off the awesome ones and hide the shitty ones, it's to be able to do that DISCREETLY, and in order to master that you have to act a little conceded/metrosexual when you're alone. Please realize, though, as soon as I leave that bathroom, I'm back to being a manly asshole - I'm back to celebrating Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n Roll, and NOBODY IN MY LIFE (with the exception of &T and maybe my sister/mother) have any idea how much I actually work on myself.

Another cool tip that I came up with (and it works): Buy a couple different colognes/a body spray. Make sure you like them all, lol, you'll see why. Choose one and wear it for a couple days and make sure that your target girl smelled it and took note. Then after a couple days of wearing Cologne A, wear cologne B for a couple days. Make sure she notices (hug her/"wrestle" her) then, again, change up the scent. After a couple weeks of changing around and making sure she notices (DISCREETLY), she'll probably admit she has a "favorite" cologne you wear. Now you have control over something she likes, and you can be creative with it to show her you care about her.

Love,
73c.v

You creep the fuck out of me.

Wow as mojo said a lot of women would be attracted to you. Your good looking, so thats not something you should be worrying about. If you want to look better, just take care of your face, your hair and clothes.

As others have said it sounds like a confidence issue.

omg y halo that buttsecks? a/s/l?> i am 21/F/NY pm 4 pix ur hawt teehee

Some girls will go for the long hair, others won't.

I'd say you should be able to get some ass with a bit of charm, I thought you were Antonio Banderas or whatever that lad is called.

lol omg, REALLYZ? Pix?


Wow totse. Wow....

Seriously...wow. I never knew that the &Totse family could be so nice. Jesus, what a surprise. Thank you, I will take all your advice. I guess its only because I've been a totsean for a while but hey, you guys said way too many nice things.

Frankly, yeah, I dont have much confidence and when I talk to a girl Im interested to I usually start to mix up words and look really strange. Sometimes its a good day and I can whip out a little charm but then, rarely.

Regardless though I'll take this thread as inspiration. Thank you

DaGuru: Yeah, happyish was taken in the spur of the moment for little reason other than to see if I could pull of the "hang-loose" hand sign without looking like a dork, to which the answer is no. "Pointing was taken after posing in the web cam lloking for something along the lines of "cool" not "creepy" and for some reason it looks like I have eyeliner on and a shadow over my face. Again, I didnt mean to look that uh...evil but I will definitely use this picture and put a scary caption over it. Maybe something like "BUTTSECKS....YOU!" And no, cleaning pools isnt terrible but I like my job as a computer tech. Cleaning tubs is probably a step down in pay but a step up in ease.

Durell: lol Thanks for starting the "Antonio Banderas" thing lol. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4d/3122_boys.jpg <<is what I have been thinking about regarding that.

Jack: Youre a dead sexy beast.

Youlookfourteen: Youlookfourteen! Whoa, you are both smart and pretty so coming from you that means a lot. Your the number one female poster in my book. I appreciate it, but no....unfortunately my sense of humor died in a terrible hang-gliding accident about 2 or 3 years ago. Btw, please dont be offended but I have to tell you that you look like Hillary Swank.

azalie: One day

Exposo: OMFGZ Exposo!?! I can diez happyz.

Shiva: Yeah...thank you though.

MrMojoRisin: What?!? Geez, no. Tell them a mans not worth that. Exotic? lol, Im not exotic in Miami Mojo. Fully caucasian people are more the minority but since you live in south florida im pretty sure you know that. Truly though, youre absolutely right. I usually mess things up AFTER I open my mouth, not before. Simply because I will say something completely retarded or be unable to say anything and then look like an idiot. Thank you, I will try.

MaddMan: Thanks man, yeah. Gotta work on the sense of humor part.

Isobutane: eh...eventually? Just to let you know, in some bizzare twist of fate you will fall in love with a man with long hair. hehehe...

xilikeeggs0: :(

Rocker: Hmm...I dont know why you would think my hair is greasy. Its...soft and thick. Yeah, sounds like a myspace spiel but THIS is waaaay better and WAAAY more honest. So forgive me, I dont know anywhere else to get unbiased opinions.

Suissemista: Why thank you! Again, thats hella fuckin surprising but...uh...thanks! After this post how could I not be more confident?

Something Obscure: Sure thing. :) eh...that is...if your a woman. If youre a dude? That'll be $70.00 homeslice.

PrettyPoems: .... :) Geez man, talk about my ego being too big for my body. Orlando Bloom?!?! LOL. Thank you, you are one totally cool girl. Pretty poems, never stop posting.

Rio Bravo: Gracias amigo. Eventually.

73cv: Whoa man, thank you for all your help and your monstrous post. Yeah, facial creams and stuff like that...I hate doing it. But youre definitely right, a man needs to keep himself looking good and honestly, you're right, I dont groom enough.

Big hispanic guys? Lol. Nah man, Im 5'6, 150 lbs. Thats shorter than average. My body odor aint as bad as all that (only because Im familiar with the body odors of many different types of people, living in a pretty multicultural city) but youre totally on point with that.

I will take your advice man.

H4T3: Haha, so you thought I was some pasty faced computer nerd huh? Well... GUESS AGAIN MOTHAFUCKA CUS IM IN YO CLOSET!!!WITH A SPORK!!! http://tinyurl.com/3yxcdf

kidding kidding, yeah, Im not a regularly scary looking person. I just wear normal close and walk around with a slight grin. Not a scary one though lol. But yeah man, we had some good debates.

KAte: Thank you. Confidence is number one and everybodys been just seriously cool.

Gadzooks: Buttsecks now...

Zero Malarki: Yeah, its a preference. Hopefully it aint too big a deal though.

Thanks a million guys.

Gadzooks: Buttsecks now...

Thanks a million guys.

Anytime... :)

Dude just cut your hair that shit looks dangerous

lol omg, REALLYZ? Pix?

H4T3: Haha, so you thought I was some pasty faced computer nerd huh? Well... GUESS AGAIN MOTHAFUCKA CUS IM IN YO CLOSET!!!WITH A SPORK!!! http://tinyurl.com/3yxcdf

kidding kidding, yeah, Im not a regularly scary looking person. I just wear normal close and walk around with a slight grin. Not a scary one though lol. But yeah man, we had some good debates.


AHHH!

Even though you were kidding I now won't be able to sleep for three days. Thanks, asshole, you've activated my insomnia.

While you are attractive, there is something about your eyes that makes you look like you crack skulls for a living. Maybe the chicks will dig that, "his smile says he's taking me for a romantic picnic but his eyes say he is going to snap my neck and leave me in a dumpster." Women love guys that are unpredictable.

TruthWielder, if you listen to any advice on this thread.....please hear me out and take it from a guy who knows....

"Fuck ALL the haters telling you to cut your hair!"

Bullshit! There are TONS of chicks that will dig you....in all shapes and forms. There are only 2 reasons why you should ever cut your hair....

1) Because YOU want to, for whatever reasons not having to do with thinking that is how others want you to be.

2)$$$$$$$$ If whatever career or job you are into mandates that's what it takes to put food on the table and a roof over your head, no one can fault a guy for that. I admit, I'm a sellout. While my hair right now is longER than 95% of most men......it still could and should be longer. Unfortunately there are games you have to play in society and dealing with the clientele that I do daily, my old Axl Rose type just don't work.

Trust me bud, you WILL pick up women with long hair, and you absolutely WILL get laid. Just don't cut your hair cuz you think that is what other people want......no matter what stereotype or prejudice certain folks have! That is THEIR problem not yours, and truth be told they'll find something else to pick on if they look hard enough. I mean really....if you had a choice and could change your Hispanic heritage to something else, just because of other idiots pre conceived nonsense and slurs and other hassles....would you? Of course you wouldn't, and its the same deal with your hair if it satisfies you.

and all's it takes is a great personality to get a great girl, TRUST ME.


rofl..

azalie: One day



At least wash it or invest in a hair straightener.

Btw, are you wearing eyeliner?
<3

I approve. + i like the hair.

I think you'd get plenty of chicks where i am. noone here is attractive. And the ones that are turn out to be gay.

Shit, I'd fuck you and I'm a straight guy.

Youlookfourteen: Youlookfourteen! Whoa, you are both smart and pretty so coming from you that means a lot. Your the number one female poster in my book. I appreciate it, but no....unfortunately my sense of humor died in a terrible hang-gliding accident about 2 or 3 years ago. Btw, please dont be offended but I have to tell you that you look like Hillary Swank.


well thank you, i have to say i'm flattered as well. i'm very sorry to hear about your sense of humour though. that's tragic.
haha honestly, sense of humour is huge in my books as well as most girls i've talked to. my boyfriend is hilarious and i think some of the best times we've had have been just laughing like idiots at each other's stupid jokes. so it's a bonus that your funny bone is intact because dude, you're not ugly and you don't seem like an asshole, so now you have 3 things going for you.
and thank you for the compliments. who would be offended by a hilary swank comparison?! i've heard that before but i've gotta say i don't see it.
anyway, go find a lady. you seem like a pretty decent guy.

1. I'm a girl.
2. Jesus christ cut your hair.
3. Hair aside, not half bad.

cut your fucking hair and you will be fine.