Since this a a forum of relations, I shall post this here.

First, about myself. I'm 17 in last year of high school.

Long:
I have acquaintances in each of my classes that I can approach and talk to, but otherwise I cannot call any of them friends. Truth be told, I have not had a person I perceive as a friend since seven years ago. I also have not engaged any female +/- 2 years from my age for more than 1 hour approx. total.

Ok, so you say &T is full of people similar to me, you say that flirting guides and approachment guides are abundant on the internet but I honestly can say that I am lost in terms of how to acquire friendships and relationships.

Back to friends, I recently started to frequent sitting at a table at lunch where one of my aquaintances sat. I methim last year and he seemed like someone I could get along with. I joined him at a few parties. The thing is though, I don't think he or any of the people I have gotten to that point want to pursue further meetings outside of school. They seem to drop me out of everything after the first few call-ups. When I try to pursue a meeting they seem to ignore me, or don't want to because nobody else will be there. The reason I say outside of school is because school is confined, not much to do there. It seems to me like these people, along with others do not want to be open with me, or maybe it is I who do not wish to be open with them, I don't know. I listen very well, without expressing over-emotion and without pushing situations.

I don't know what the fuck I expect out of people anymore. I think I am expecting too much out of people.
I don't think I'm better than anyone, but I wish I could connect with people on another level.
Is the world really that much better with friends?
Fuck yes it is.

Totse please assist me in acquiring a different mindset so that I can talk, laugh, and be generally be more happier. I have been more or less alone, other than immediate family, for my whole life.

Short:

I would like to have friends and relations with other people.


Please offer any advice for help

Go and find people that share a common interest and/or goals with you. You don't have to befriend the most popular people or the most well-liked people. Just meet people who you like and you feel comfortable around. Other than that it just takes time to build a relationship and sometimes it's hard. Don't worry though when you get out in the real-world (assuming your in high school) a lot more will open up to you.

OK, to be honest, I know the feeling. You seem like the kind of person I was at high school. My main advice to you would be to find people you can talk to for extended periods of time about things which are not always serious. Find people who can give and receive playful jibes.

I know this seems like irresponsible advice, but try taking up smoking. Contrary to common belief, smoking is a very social thing. When you go out at breaks, you have a cigarette with the other smokers and you will pick up friends from there easily. If the smokers at your school aren't the type of people you would get on with, just leave it.

As for carrying on friendships out of school, there's not much I can say to help. If you have a reputation as someone who is not fun to be with or as a bit of a geek, then it's already too late. If not, then try to throw a few parties, invite people from different cliques. Hang around with a lot of them and so forth. Invite them places and don't wait for them to invite you all the time. If they don't answer, keep pushing them until they do. You don't really have much to lose.

If all of those ideas fail, I took up the guitar when I was had very few friends. People like guitarists. Get good and you will draw friends to you like a magnet (if friends were made of metal).

As for the situation with girls, not much can be said if you feel uncomfortable around them. Basically, all you need to do is make friends with some girls. If you are shy, that may be easier said than done, but it's worth a try. If there is a night club near you which has an under 18s night, go there and sit on your own, some girl will eventually come and talk to you. I can guarantee it.

Funny you say these things MyFeetSmell. I smoke, very rarely, twice a month maybe. I also recently began attempting to learn musical theory (so I could play the guitar), in my free time.

I will take your advice and try little by little to be more assertive.


I've been thinking about this seriously since I posted and I have a few ideas I would like to try to enforce.

First focus on getting guy friends. You can manage this by, hanging out with those people you know more often and opening up. Just be real and don't be afraid of what they think . After you can call them friends and feel like you can hang out with them whenever, start talking to some of the girls they hang out with, parties are a great place to start because everyone is really open and happy. Consequently, these parties will help you meet more people and give you a common ground to discuss during the boring part of your week.

Lastly, you have to be avaliable! People won't make an extra effort to hang out with someone that doesn't act like they want to hang out.

A good question to ask yourself along the way is "Why am I a valueable friend?" if you can answer this, build on your strong points and you'll be happy in no time.

P.S. Also, get a myspace/facebook if you don't have one and drop a few bucks on some fresh clothes.

Im the exact same way.
Im tolerated, not accepted.

Maybe you're not a likeable person. Try to be more cool.