Mine asks me to come closer, says "Oh GOD!" alot, and growled at me once...

What interesting/funny things do your boyfreinds/girlfreinds/fuck buddys say in bed?

'You fuck me so hard.'

It's good because I don't consider myself a god in bed. Nice for the self-esteem.

"I fantasize that I'm having sex with another woman when we fuck."

Fucking women and their penis envy. :p

Her moaning really gets me on !!! We fucked yesterday after 3 months of no interaction whatsoever between us, so she was really passionate and was telling me how much she wanted me and that she couldn't keep masturbating herself thinking about me anymore ....... hahaha that was really hot !!!!!

She says "Me love you long time" alot.
And she says "Oh yah" alot too.
And sometimes she says "Mi so horni"

"Oh you're fucking me, COOL!"

Well, I'm currently not involved with anyone... But for the fun of it I'll have to go ahead and make fun of virtually every girl I've ever fucked.

Here goes:
"Flatten that pussy!"
"Attack my pussy!"
"Oh yeah, give it to me Papa Bear."
"Fuck that hole!" (like it's a fucking game show)
"Fuck me like an animal! *growl*"
"Make me bleed!" (Note: I actually made her bleed, I stopped before I came.)
"Do you want to pee on me?"
"Fuck my tits!" (Titfucking = pointless)
"Give it to me Esteban!" (My name is Nathan.)
"Do you know what you're doing?" (I didn't, first time)
"Don't fucking judge me!" (Earlier in the night she had told me she'd never sleep with someone as promiscuous as me)

There's a lot more, but I can't think of anything right now.

"You're done already?" and "You didn't come inside me, did you?" are entirely too much a part of my partners' vocabulary. Yeah.

I've always wanted to bust out the ol' "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."

FB - "Would you stop farting on me! I swear to God I'm gonna put a cork up your ass if you do it again."

You must be a 40 year-old virgin.

"You like my big white cock in your tight pussy?!"

I'm not sure why he chose to use white as an adjective.

I don't dispute the color of his penis.

But whatever gets him off.

You are an understanding woman.

You are an understanding woman.

I try.

"Ouch."

I try.

But you don't feel any need to say whether the darn thing was as big & efficacious as he thought nor if you did, indeed, 'like it'?

"please not in the eye"

i lol'd

Haha....I don't know what to say. The girl that I fucked, was 90% silent when we were fucking. Only thing I've heard from that bitch was whispering "Oh Allen Oh Allen" and huffing/panting.


Man, I kinda feel bad for other guys who fucked her too. She was.....ugh, a boring bitch. Basically all she can do is fuck, nothing else.

"Do you like my cock in your pussy?... Say it."
"Am I the best fuck you've ever had?" (And the answer actually is "yes")
"Quit pulling my hair"
..."Wanna try anal?"

There are probably more interesting things but those are frequent and stick out in my mind more. :(

These are fucking great. Keep 'um coming! no pun intended.

"Fuck me like an animal! *growl*"

Hahaha, was that a NIN reference, or am I reading too much into things?

Hahaha, was that a NIN reference, or am I reading too much into things?

Uh, sure.

Another thing that she says in bed is:

"Are you gonna kill me?"

mmm, isn't she precious?

You must be a 40 year-old virgin.

She also says "Lets fuck"
She's just so crazy

I was sleeping with a girl who tried to talk dirty but it just made me laugh. Something about two 16 year olds, the girl saying 'oh yeah I want your big cock in my tight pussy' just felt a bit weird. Especially considering that I was young in those days and had somewhat of a stamina problem. Now I'm 20 and my stamina is fine, but dirty talk still makes me giggle a little bit inside.

I once had sex and afterward she said 'I bet we were both thinking about the hot girl we saw today' which I found quite funny. And also arousing.

I have lul'd so hard at this thread.

I like it when she quotes Soul Calibur
"Namu namu namu namu namu namu.."

And when she says kinky nerd shit, like "Fuck me like ~el8 fucked the OpenBSD servers!" or "yeah, BO2k!Bo2k!!"

Though mostly she just breathes fast and moans.

A girl looked down my boxers, and I said "yep, that's my penis."

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!! thats kind of creppy though hearing a chick scream that.

OMGZ PIX!? LOL

Seriously, though, that's hot.

The current fuck buddy says the standard shit "Fuck me" "yes" "Oh MadIndustries" all that other stuff, but after many, many times telling me how unbelievable I am in bed last night she screams out "OH my god you're by far the best sex I've ever had". I in no way consider myself anything special in bed, but the amount of times she brings it up is giving me quite a large head.

Oh and last night she got out some handcuffs and told me to cuff her to something. I was a little shocked, but it was fucking hot! Everybody should try it, just cuff her hands above her head to the bedpost, then do whatever you want, run your mouth over their body, drives them crazy.

I think these this youtube video apply to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3MgEV9hn0Y

Me and friends have agreed that we need to have a game that the next time we have sex with a girl we have to shout something stupid..

For instance just as we get an erection:
"Go go gadget penis!"

During sex:
"Pikachu, use your thundershock attack!"

"wow, that's a new record..10.5 seconds"

NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (insert money shot)

Pix::

The SSG/team OpenBSD sex chart

.----------bind---------.
| .---'|`----------|--------.
| | | | |
| | cripto----de raadt---obecian
aempirei | || .---'|`------.|
| | || | | ||
|.-----|---'| | jethro ||
|| | | | ||
|| `--route----|-------------'
|| | | |
||.---lore--|------|--------. |
||| | | | |
#hackphreak `---dangergrl `--halflife



,-._,-._ .----------------------------------.
_,-\ o O_/; | OpenBSD! The proactively secure |
/ , ` `| | operating system! ... |
| \-.,___, / ` | FOR ME TO PISS ON! |
\ `-.__/ / ,.\ `----------------------------------'
/ `-.__.-\` ./ \'
/ /| ___\ ,/ `\
( ( |.-"` '/\ \ `
\ \/ ,, | \ _
\| o/o / \.
\ , / /
( __`;-;'__`) \\
`//'` `||` `\
_// || ;
.-"-._,(__) .(__).-""-. `
/ \ / \ '
\ / \ / `
`'-------` `--------'` ;

What is that?"

- Referring to my surprise penis :D

"Is it in yet?"
"Are you sure?"
"Really!?"

:(

"oh baby put your penis in my vagina" its so...i dont know technical

Just the sort of normal things really. Moans and heavy breathing mainly, but it really depends. The most common one is "Oh my god." Other than that, screaming my name or otherwise telling me not to stop or to go faster or slower.

Some of my earlier girlfriends attempted the dirty talk thing, but I just find it funny hearing that. One of my girlfriends laughed, but it turns out that she had problems with her nerves which caused it to be overly sensitive and make her giggle when touched. True story.

a scream followed by, "I said no!" but normally the roofies kick in before that, on occation i get a scream followed by "I said no to anal" though.....good nights

"Are you really sure that's going to fit in my nostril? I can't breathe the way it is with all this lube"

"Fuck me harder daddy" carries some disturbing images still..

Reminds me of that one comic. Someone remind me what his name was.

"Ejaculation in T-Minus Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! ...Oops!"

A girl once flirted with me while my girlfriend was right there. So right in the middle of this crowded room, my girlfriend grabs me by the crotch and says "Mine!"

"Enjoy your aids" :(