Why do girls think that lying can redeem a situation and make things better? They really must think I'm special ed.

I go to my girl's house to eat dinner with her son of a bitch dad, we're late, he's pissed off and leaves (good riddance), so I'm left to snoop around while my girl washes some dishes quick. I go by the phone and what do I see? A hastily scrawled message from her sister telling her that her ex had called. What the fuck? She always tells me how she hates the guy and never speaks to him.

I calmly inquire why he called and she says she doesn't know, but is glad she wasn't around to take the call. Naturally my instinct gets me a little suspicious and I follow up with another question.

"When's the last time you two spoke?"

A long time ago she tells me, and I already knew this, or I thought I did, because she told me about the last fight they had and how they hadn't spoken since, and this was a few months ago, but they broke up even earlier than that. I trust her when she says she has no attraction towards the man.

Now I find this kid online and he's got an offensive away message up that involves her, so I ask him to take it down nicely and he understands and does it. I then ask my girl again when the last time they spoke was. She finally admits to talking on the phone last night because he called to let her know her old dealer died from an OD. I can understand this, but why did she lie about that? It seems like a perfectly legit reason for someone to call, even if it is an ex. Now, I'm not worried about him but I am worried about the lies. She claims she didn't want me to think that they talk all the time, but damn all she had to do was explain the circumstances and we would have been cool. She lied to my face, her eyes locked on mine, didn't even give a hint of guilt.

How do I know she is being honest with me about everything else now if she can't even come clean with me on a simple phone call? Y'know, this all isn't seemingly a big deal, but I really feel like I'm in the dark on a few things yet. She THEN admitted later that he called the next morning too but she told him to stop calling. Well fuck, this all seems like awfully familiar territory. My ex girlfriends always had me nice and happy before I found out about their cheating ways or lack of honesty or whatever other bullshit.

Why am I typing this I don't know, not even looking for anyones flames or suggestions. I just felt like writing it down. This girl is my world and if I lose her then I'm really going to change my life and pack my shit in a backpack and vagabond a while. Love is all that I feel gives life any worth to me and when I lose it I crash hard. I don't think I could recover from this one; she's too perfect to lose. Time isn't just going to wave its wand this time and magically heal the wounds. I have to help this girl out of the life she's lived; I feel like it's my only chance to prove myself contrary to the waste of space existence I've lead so far. I have to do something. For her sake at least.

Eh, I read this over and it sounds pretty stupid but thanks if you read it. Take care.

I'd be a little suspicious about her for the next while. Lying looses trust, and thats something thats earned back not given back.

I don't think I could recover from this one; she's too perfect to lose.

Perfect girls don't lie to you about their ex-boyfriends.

If she lies about this, what else will she lie about to "stop you thinking" something?

you're not alone buddy. i hate finding out about those littles lies, where they have no reason to lie. after they are caught lying, its really hard to question them too much about it without either getting into a fight, or some kind of altercation.

hey, if you love her, don't let this shit slip by. she has a kid and because of the fact you're not already scared away proves that you have more balls than a lot of guys. just tell her to communicate with you, and assure her that you'd do the same. however, it was nosy of you to poke around, but to some extent everyone wants to know whats happening, otherwise you'd feel that urge to just find out.

She doesn't have a kid, sorry if you misunderstood me somewhere (we're both still young). Yeah it was a bit nosy of me but it was in plain sight so I feel justified.

edit: ah, I think you got confused when I said "my girl". I was actually referring to my girlfriend.

If she keeps lying i'd watch out generally if they lie once they have lied a million times.

If she has cheated on you spit in her face (seriously) then make sure her dad finds out that you dumped her cause she is a slut.

Perhaps she just didn't tell you because she didn't deem it that important, and knew you'd freak out about it? This seems a little sketchy considering he called to tell her someone died, and that's generally something you share with your s/o, but perhaps she really didn't care that much. Either way, be a little more alert for the next little while, but don't get too freaked out and posessive. That'll compound the problem significantly.

I know this sounds a bit stupid man, but take it from me, I fucked this up recently. I had problems with my ex, and didn't mention anything to her because she was "Too perfect to lose", by the time I cracked and went off on one at her, it was too late and the spark had gone. Its left me feeling like theres a huge hole in me, I still love her in some ways - but only as a friend, not as the girl I want to be with anymore.
If I had only spoken out sooner and talked it through, explained exactly what was wrong etc, I probably wouldnt be single right now.
Talk it through with her, explain that her lying has given you some paranoia, and if she takes it bad and gets pissy, then she isnt worth it!
Hope it helps.
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