I may have calmed down a bit by morning. But at the moment, I'm pretty fucking shitty. About three hours ago, my girlfriend told me that one of my best mates has been sifting onto her. Her ex boyfriend. Now, I can understand that they had a history together. I just can't understand why the fuck he wants to be a bastard and try and kill my relationship with her. Asshole.

Anyway, I'll give the story. So on Saturday Me, the Girlfriend, and the mate were at a party. Not a big one, just a few of us round for beers, spa, and BBQ. Well I was having the time of my life. I was trying to work my way through a litre of vodka which, unfortunately, made me too drunk to notice his advances.

Apparently while we were in the spa the Girlfriend had a hand on her leg which she thought was mine, until I took both out to reach for my bottle of vodka. Then she realised it was the ex boyfriend. Other party goers left the spa, but he stayed in with us for an extra two or more hours.

Fastforward a wee while after we get out of the spa and dry off, me and the girlfriend are trying to sleep in the car. She's txting away and then decides to get up and say she'll be right back. Well I find out today that he was txting her, trying to get her to go meet him and that he wanted to make things right. So she got up, walked off, and told him to fuck off.

In hindsight, she got up to see him twice. I'm gonna have to ask about that in the morning.

In the past couple of days however, he's been talking to her telling her to drop me and go for him. It was a mistake that they broke up and all this sort of crap.

I dunno if I'm talking shit because I'm pissed off, but I wanna do something about this. Problem is if i fight him, I'm gonna get wasted because he's a big fella. All that will achieve is make me look like a stroppy bastard and get me hurt. I dunno I was thinking about setting him up with another mate of mine to take him out of the game. I could let him know that she cheated on him badly, I don't know. But I feel that I can't just hear that he did that, and accept it.

She got up and left twice? When text, telling him to get lost and then turning off the phone would have sufficed. O.o

If he was drunk while all this happened forgive and forget... it's what up horny men do.

If not, tell the girlfriend to stop fucking talking to him. It's just as much her fault as it is his. If she's not being upfront and telling the lad to fuck off then.

If neither is the case here's what you'll need.

1. A baseball
2. Zippo Lighter with skulls on it
3. Gallon of Gasoline
4. Box of Mike and Ikes
5. Sunglasses (Aviators work best)

Confront him while your wearing the sunglasses (it's best if it's dusk out) and holding the baseball bat inb one hand down by your side. Hit him once with the bat and shatter his knee cap. When he keels over hit him in the face in an upward motion. If done correctly he should fall to his back and be dazzed if not knocked out. Give your bat a nice little toss forward about five feet for dramatical effects. Open your gallon of gas and drentch him in it. (some people like smoking a cigarette while doing this) Now here's the key part. If you fuck this up it's not going to work. Pull out your lighter, it must have the skulls on it, flames help to. Light the zippo and say this word for word "*Girlfriends name* loves the burnt cock." Do a sinister smile while taking off the shades and tossing the lighter in his vicinity. This is where it helps to have the cigarette, because if you miss with the lighter your fucked... if you want this done correctly you can't pick it back up. Then while the motherfucker's burning pull out your mike and ikes and walk away eating them and laughing.

Good luck pal, hope I was some help. Let me know how it goes.

Do a sinister smile while taking off the shades and tossing the lighter in his vicinity.

So.. you're supposed to smile sinisterly, remove the shades AND throw the lighter all at the same time? Are you sure there is no step by step order to this like remove shades - smile sinisterly - say burnt cock thing - toss lighter

Speak to your girlfriend, if she says she isnt going to leave you then everything is cool. Has she ever given you a reason to not trust her?

And if the constant advances on your girlfriend wear thin then burn the fucker!

You're probably right... I've only done it a few times so I'm not exactly at expert level yet.

:)

Yeah well she has got a bit of a history of cheating on the ex boyfriend who was making the advances. He doesnt know about them and the ideas been bouncing around my head to let him find out. I don't think they'd be speaking much after that. The problem is, that although it will deal with him, it might damage some trust between me and her

Dude, you need to confront him directly if he is your best friend.

It's not on.