well, i have been having some trouble with drugs. i just thought i would let you guys know. it all started a few months ago, i started dating a chick who i had wanted to get to know for a few months(she was from another school) well i got kicked out of that school and ended up at hers, it was a surprise, a nice one, well we were friends for a while and i wanted it to stay that way, but she wanted to take it further. i pondered it for a week or so and gave in. it was awesome for the few months we were together. she was the first girl i had ever actually loved, i have had a few girlfriends but i was at those times too young to fully understand what love was.

we are head over heals in love with each other, and it is the greatest feeling in the world, i quite smoking weed and for me thats huge, well w have a horrible breakup and we both are distraught me more so than her, she broke it off but still had feelings for me. any way if anybody has read my long ass story i wrote a while ago http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1980317
they know that i didnt want to get into any relationships really at all. but i did and a serious one. i just cant get her out of my head, and i m thinking about her alot. it really fucks me up inside. and eeven though its been so long when i think of her and all the great times we had and now we cant i just want to curl up and die.:(



Edit: sorry i am feling really depressed right know. and i had to talk about it.

Sorry about that , it sucks I know.
Maybe you could try getting bck with her , if she still likes you and stuff..?

anyways , good luck and stay strong.

So, are relationships not worth getting into then? Why don't you just get over it and find something else to do with your life? Is it because you can't?

I could probably tell you there are millions of people worse off than you, but I know that wouldn't make it hurt any less.

You should probably consider that this was your first love, so it might hurt the most. Don't worry, these feelings are just temporary. They last a couple months and we move on, but that's part of life. Call it a test of 'endurance' but nonetheless it'll pass.

It's only natural that you're grieving over loss (be thankful it's not death), otherwise I'd say you have 'real' mental issues. In a couple of days you'll start thinking about all her flaws, and then you'll be filled with anger. I'd say let it take it's course, just don't let it consume you.

Chin up, it'll pass.

<3

thanks dude that is the most helpful thing i have heard in a long time. i think i might try to get back with her because i know she still thinks im cool, or thats what my friends have said.

Go get her, if you want something that badly and she still does have feelings for you I see no reason why you can't get her back.

Depression is not just some emo outpuring of sentiments. It is a very real, and very dangerous clinical condition. And I know that right now, you are feeling very serious and very real symptoms of depression.

Right now, I am just a short trigger squeeze from ending it all. (for really quite different reasons from your own) But just that close, none the less.

No, I probably won't do it... mainly because of the hurt that I know it would leave behind, for my family and for my friends (what few of them who would ever know or even care).

But you CAN keep on going, just as I am. Breaking up with a loved one is perhaps the most difficult thing a human being can ever go through. It may take much more than weeks, perhaps months or even years to get over. But you will get over it. Just as I did, several decades ago. And again several years ago... and then again just few months ago.

If I can be any further help to you, please do NOT hesitate to ask... In the mean time, thank you so very much for helping me to take my finger off of the trigger and to put my pistol back in its case.

Until we meet again.... here, or in the hereafter

moo milk man chowder

well i am going to attempt to fall asleep, i will probably end up not being able o and be posting back here in a few hours. and phmeworp thank you for the kind words, and i hope you can find peace.

^^^ and I also am going to sleep now. Looking forward to just "one more day". And that is how we get through our hearbreaks, and our lives. Just "one more day" at a time. May you, and I, have many, many more of those "one more days"

My best Regards, and all the best to you in the years to come.

*gives thread a box of kleenax*

It gets easier with time.

The pain you are feeling now and the inevitablity of you feeling this way again about another girl.

All I can advise is keep your head up and know there's something better out there.