Around sex and affection most of the advice is quite poor and a lot of people who ask the questions seem totally clueless.

Some people here have no friends, no life, look like a piece of shit, have no girlfriend, are virgins, don't know how to turn girls on, have problems with their family, are depressed and a thousand other problems. This isn't because they're in some way a defective person, they just don't know how to go about fixing it and totse is completely unhelpful because its the blind leading the blind.

So for you, the average, maybe even ugly guy, maybe still living with your parents, who has problems with girls and friends, I'm the guy to listen to. What I will teach you is not to make you think im cool when we hang out together, not to let you down after a breakup. Its raw truth. I don't claim to be qualified, but i've spent a good 3rd of my life approaching, having sex with and being in the presence of thousands of women. I know how to interact with people and if you have a problem (you want to get one special girl, you're too needy, you think you're asexual (always bullshit) you're confused about your orientation, you have no idea how to get a girlfriend, no idea how to get friends, your friends hate you, your friends are boring etc) of any kind, post it in as much detail as you can here and i'll get back to you. As long as you listen to my advice, your problem will be fixed.

I'll check this thread as often as I can.

Some of my friends are boring and I need new ones.

I guess I'll take the attract women deal. Even when I'm 100000% certain a girl likes me, I always end up not doing anything. WHY? HELP ME JESUS!!!

I'll take advice from you when you spell "seem" correct.

First off, give me a specific situation where this happened. What were the indicators of interest that the girl gave that made you sure she was interested?

Thank you for pointing out the mistake

I know it may sound gay, but I'll walk by a girl, she'll smile at me, I'll smile at her, and I can TELL she wants me to walk up to her, and start a conversation. But I can't. I'm not smooth enough.

First off everyone trying to get laid get a myspace the girl you like will most likely already have a very detailed one if she likes you she will look for yours and when she finds it she thinks she knows you better after reading all that bullshit so she will be more confident now dont let her down flirt with her like an addict does his needles and your well on your way.

This is just approach anxiety. It's normal and fine since 80% of people can't walk up and approach someone they don't know outside of their social circle. It's also probably the reason 20% of guys do 90% of the fucking.

If you want to have success with number closing random women, you have to do just that: do it over and over again. If you literally can't do it, get a friend out with you and have him push you into groups. Make it a goal to approach one attractive woman a day, whether she displays interest or not and you WILL loose your AA. If you need me to help you with what to say and how to act, that's a whole different question.

Some questions. When approaching the hot woman a day, should I be in a mindset of picking her up, or just saying hello and passing by?

I'm in college so nobody really is articulate or well-spoken to such a degree, but if you have a few pointers they would be useful.

Consider this.. Know when people make a home video? They kind of move around like "Hello Jeff. This is Jeff. Say hello to Jeff, everyone. Now we're moving into the kitchen... ahaha, ahahah" - That's their home video mindset. They don't want to make a fool of themselves because they know people will be watching it years down the line so they overarticulate everything. When guys approach women they go into this whole "pickup" mindset and it's a massive turnoff because it telegraphs way too much interest. We'll get to this later.

So lets start at the basics.. before you even approach you need to make sure your body language is correct. This means:

Slow, deliberate gestures. Walk very slowly, if you're used to being jittery and nervous it might feel like you're almost swimming but people instantly pick up on it and see you as confident.

Keep your head up at all times.

A good thing to do is to "lift" your chest, because it puts your body into a more masculine position and fixes all the posture issues.

Walk from your hips.. most guys walk from their chest or head and it looks weird. Start walking from your hips - consciously walk from the hips rather than your chest, it will feel different and look much better. Try it right now and you'll see what I mean.

Depending on your personality, cultivate the expression on your face.. Decide whether you're the kind of guy who wants the "badboy" look (squinted eyes, furrowed brow, pursed lips) or to have a sly smile on your face most of the time. Whatever it is, don't just have a blank expression.

Lean BACK. I can't stress this enough. When you lean in to someone, especially a girl, it telegraphs way too much interest and they get scared off. Let them orient their body to you as time goes on - in fact, I always talk to girls over my shoulder, as if i'm just passing by, and wait for them to crowd around me rather than attempting to orient myself to them.

Obvious stuff, but keep your hands away from each other, if you play with your hands, crack your knuckles, touch your face, shit like that, you will come across as nervous. Just keep them by your sides, on your hips, or in your back pockets.

After body language is your clothes.. Some basics. Have a good pair of shoes (this is the most important part) your trainers won't cut it unless you're black and going for the hip hop look. Wear a decent pair of jeans. Have some jewelry. I'm sure you know this stuff but brush your teeth and bathe before you go out, groom your facial hair accordingly, always have fresh breath and smooth lips. Have one or two interesting items that girls can comment on, like a tie, a necklace, a large ring, a pair of sunglasses (especially at night) etc, it makes you stand out and gives girls an excuse to approach you so you don't have to. I'm serious, you will just get random girls coming up to you whenever you're out and about saying "wow, that's cool, where did you get it?"

After clothes is your tonality of voice.. Speak from your chest, not your mouth and nose. A deep voice is universally attractive. Also, speak slowly and deliberately, and use pauses. (Unless you're a very high energy guy, in which case, do what works for you.)

As for the words.. They really don't matter. It's all about your mindset and how you say it. Some people use "openers," prescripted things they go out and use to approach girls with. Personally I just say whatever comes to mind, though if you want me to give you some openers with a very high success rate, I can.

Most people have a mindset as follows:

I will take whatever I can get (which is not much)
There is nothing special or unique about you, I settled for you, because I have no sexual choice. I’m grateful just to find someone who is willing to fuck a loser like me, apparently that someone is you.
Being with me makes you feel common and used.

You want to have every word out of your mouth coming from this angle:

I have a lot of choice when it comes to women. I am accustomed to success with women.
If I do take a liking to you, it is more than just for your looks. It is because you are a special and unique person who lives up to my high expectations.
I will only be with a quality woman and that’s what you are.

Just believe those three things about yourself, at all times. Would someone with the first belief, for example, get nervous? No. What would he think if some woman told him to get lost? He'd probably laugh and think it was her loss.

I wouldn't recommend this around campus (since people know you) but sometimes its fun to walk up to women and say crazy shit, just to see what happens. Make a fool of yourself and get over fear of public rejection because it frees up your mind to say what you want. A lot of sad guys approach and get all intense with boring questions like.. What do you do.. How are you.. Where do you work.. Got any brothers or sisters.. Its painful. Bust her balls, be cocky and funny, be fun and interesting. Say whatever comes into your head.

If you do decide to approach, post the results here and i'll analyze what happened and how you could improve. Good luck.

Everything here is written from what's in my own knowledge. It sounds like you logged onto some weird seduction sites and aren't having the success you want so you're bitter at me. If you really care - go ahead and google my posts, and see if it leads to a source i'm copying from.

Or you could share any of your own problems with me and I can help you out

Yeah man, it's fucking weird isn't it? I'm adverse to approaching less attractive girls than the more attractive, because I know 9s and 10s are a sure thing. I wouldn't run material on this girl. At the same time, you're talking dangerously here.. "I don't want to fuck it up" is common of oneitis, and what it does is put you in a state where you're afraid to say what comes into your head. Everything that you think of is vetoed for one reason or another because you "don't want to screw up your chances" and you're only left with boring stuff. She decides you're not worth talking to and moves on.

Even though you seem against it, social proof will work for you really well. Just her seeing you around laughing and joking with hot girls will be enough by itself for her to become attracted. If you don't have her number then that's the first step. Open, attract, close, wait a few days, set something up and take it from there. Lay back, be cocky and funny, bust her balls, say whatever comes into mind, comment on your surroundings, and she WILL fall for you because she's used to guys getting all flustered, boring, overanalytical, nervous, and worked up because they think she's so amazing and beautiful and oh my god can I please take you out some time.

The less you try to impress, the more of an impression you'll make.

Fair enough..

Whats the best way to pick up a waitress then?

EDIT:

Actually, now I read through your old posts, I see where your source is.

Folks - read www.fastseduction.com/guide.

When your done there, read some of the posts on the forums there. Look out for articles from David Shade, Maniac High, Mr Smooth, Svengali, and a couple of other old timers there

Both Durell and Trapped in a Box have read these, and now they are experts.

Durell - you're not in Sydney are you? I'm sometimes looking for a wing that actually knows what the score is......

lol....

Shit loads of ways man. I assume you've read The Game, so you know Zans cocky funny waitress technique.

The thing with waitresses is, you can just flirt around with them and come back later. You don't have to worry because she's always going to be there, so you can build up gradually. Some funny things to do are - when she makes a mistake, throw your hands in despair and get really pissed. When she writes in the notebook, ask to see it, comment a persons handwriting says a lot about them, then hand it back. General cocky/funny with flirting over a period of time is what does it - If you ask for her number the first time, she's going to think it's weird and reject you, so build up.

There are some really funny lines around for waitresses, just google it.

Yes, Savoy is a great guy. He isn't like the other "gurus" and just tells everything straight, no tacky marketing and shit. My only concern is that if you start using material you'll feel like you have to keep up the image of the interesting fun guy, try too hard and get blown out. I've seen it way too many times in comparison to the guys who just lay back and don't even try. Make sure you balance it out. It's a fine line you're walking since you've assigned yourself a hypnotic command in "I don't want to fuck things up." Most of all, make sure that you continue to game other women until you're in a relationship and don't get obsessed. I've had oneitis shit loads of times. Good luck with it.

Apparently I do all of this stuff when i'm drunk. Except I hit on about 4's or 5's thinking they're of course 8's or 9's. Usually I get the furthest wen I can remember the least. lulz

Either way alcohol helps a lot. Cheers!

I just wanted to get your opinion my situation:

Basiclly there's this girl (how it always starts.....) she's in one of my classes and long story short we get on really well, we have so much stuff in common it's wierd and I don't say so because it would seem like I'm making it up and we have had some flirtatious moments. I added her on msn and we talked for about 4 hours.

The problem when we first started getting to know each other she started to go out with this other guy who is really good friends with my friends but I don't know him really well.

The problem she is in the year below me and I'm in the last year of school so #i have about 7 weeks to wait hoping she breaks up with the other guy

The thing is she has quite low self esteem (even though she has no reason to) and I think she may have said yes because of that.

I mean I've subtly expressed interest and she has responded well, but do you think I should express interest while shes still going out or wait until she is available.

My problem:
I'm really arrogent and smart arsed.
I find it really funny though even though I know that other people don't.
When I try and pick up a chick, my method is that I usally start talking to them on msn. I like msn because I can think before I say anything. Then I'll ask them out, and so on and it's good from there. But If I'm trying to meet someone out, then I always can't find the line between being an asshole, and being witty.


Also I have another problem.
(Read this thread first) http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=1988069
This girl and I were getting on really well but it didn't work because of her friend hated me.
The girl and her friend recently had a massive arguement and I had a long talk with her friend and now we're cool with each other.
What can I do now because I still have feeling for this girl...

If you all honestly want decent, respectable women, stop spending your life on Totse and relying on abunch of people's opinions/advice you don't know to make you confident or content with who you are, that take none of their own advice and are in the same state as you.

What Trapped is telling you will work, it's the basic psychology behind women, but in reality we're not difficult. The moment you know you're better, is the moment you get pussy. Stop worrying about minor details.

Majority of you are grown college men, that to me is pathetic. At least choose a better web forum with a little less dumbasses.

My problem isn't really in my approach or that I am too ugly,/boring it is that there really are no good looking girls at my college. I go to a technical school that focuses on nature oriented technologies (forestry, wildlife management...etc). I take Archaeology and there are FOUR other girls in my major and they all wiegh more than I do (I weigh a solid 205)!

Thing is that I am a 10 minute drive away from a major party school. I have a few friends up there but most of the time I go up there I only get high and hag out with them or a few other friends. All within the same sort of social cirlce. I am only 19 so I can't hit bars yet. I just don't know where to meet girls. I know there are plenty around but where am I supposed to go to meet them?

I just find it akward to walk around aimlessly in the town... I don't have money to go to the shops. I am not much of a dancer. Plus I live out of town.

I am not really hot or anything but I would say I am at least average looking. I am tall and work out on a daily basis at least( only thing I am self concious abiout is I have mild acne). Keep in mind that I am not looking for one night stands. I am really interested in finding a girlfriend or at least a girl that I will see more than once. Main question is where to look.

Any advice you could give is greatly appreciated.