Yes I found this on the web, but it is better suited to this forum.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/280998378.html

143 Reasons That I Will Be The Best Girlfriend You've Ever Had


1. I don't like to snuggle everytime we bang.
2. Sex isn't always love-making to me. Sometimes its just wild, sweaty monkey fucking. It's cool.
3. I'm short so I will always be able to look up at you
4. I have gorgeous eyes
5. I enjoy being a girl (But not a valleygirl!)
6. Can be one of the boys
7. I don't wear grannie panties!
8. I am curvalicious!
9. I go to the gym
10. I love dogs and cats, even lizards!
11. I have long hair
12. I won't drag you shopping with me (that's what girlfriends are for!)
13. I will scratch your back (in and out of the shower)
14. I will not move into your apartment the first chance I get.
15. Like you, I am scared of commitment
16. I won't steal food out of your plate after ordering a salad.
17. I wont order a salad.
18. I'm genuine.
19. I have all my shots.
20. I've travelled.
21. I didn't vote for Bush or Arnold Swaggawaggadingdong either.
22. I'm in.
23. I will hide around corners and try to scare you in the dark of the night.
24. I will end up scaring myself and you'll have to calm me down.
25. I will sneak out of the bed and brush my teeth before you get up so we can have hygenic morning sex. (I might drop a mint into yours. don't choke)
26. I collect keychains and currency.
27. I won't nag you when you watch sports. (I'll watch if soccer is on!)
28. I write the date with European notation (Today is 13 January, 2007)
29. I'm Indian (from the country) and I speak Spanish!
30. I like the color purple.
31. I will let you be the man in the relationship.
32. I get my toes done.
33. I work.
34. I school.
35. Did I mention that I like the color purple? I do.
36. I have excellent spelling and grammar. (ya, I goof sometimes!)
37. I watch Family Guy, Simpsons, American Dad.
38. I know something about cars.
39. I can't drive automatic (You shouldn't be able to either)
40. I give heart-felt (sometimes homemade)gifts.
41. I don't hold grudges.
42. I will love your penis
43. I always smell good. (well almost)
44. I dance!
45. I keep-up my nails
46. I listen to pretty much everything.
47. I know that 4 stroke isn't a dirty joke.
48. I know what makes the rocking world go round.
49. I'll lay naked in bed with you.
50. My bed isn't overstuffed with furry animals (except my cat, but he's real)
51. I don't ghost ride.
52. But I can get hyphy.
53. I'm artsy without being artsy.
54. I give supreme oral.
55. I have a car (6 speed mani trans anyone?)
56. It turns me on when you work on your car.
57. I'm not opposed to having a hump-session anytime anywhere.
58. I don't want you to spoon me everynight
59. I like you to poke me in the butt in the morning
60. I will rate your burps. (1-10)
61. You can pee while I'm brushing my teeth.
62. I'll put sunburn cream on you if you go crispy.
63. I make a bomb spicy chicken alfredo risotto.
64. I don't mind taking out the garbage.
65. I let you open jars that "I can't open"
66. I won't ever cheat.
67. My first boyfriend used to hit me and then he cheated, so I've learned to stand up for myself.
68. I 'm gracious.
69. I laugh like there's no tomorrow.
70. I would sneak into your office and give you desk head.
71. I would fax you my ass.
72. I know what displacement means. (In reference to cars)
73. I can cook, clean, bake and I'll drink a beer while doing it.
74. I will hold you when you need it.
75. I listen when you need to talk.
76. I will be your date to anything that you need. (even that monster car rally, you hick)
77. I will remember your birthday (and I'll make it so that you will always remember it *wink wink*)
78. I don't need fancy things to have a good time.
79. I don't care what we are doing as long as its with you.
80. You will always look hot as hell to me first thing in the morning.
81. I'll initiate sex.
82. I get free condoms from school.
83. I'm 22 with the mind of a 30 year old and a heart of a 10 year old.
84. I dont do drugs. I don't smoke.
85. I won't sleep with your best friend.
86. Your dog/cat can sleep with us at night.
87. I only need to see you 2-3 times a week.
88. I only need a 2-10 minute phone call everyday. (Make sure you're okay. I worry!)
89. I make bomb brownies.
90. I have sexy lips.
91. I am a bio student and I know all about anatomy. (ie. I know where the good parts are)
92. I will hang out in your clothes to keep your smell close to me (it wont be your gym clothes though, sorry.)
93. I won't put girlie things into your bathroom/shower/room
94. I'll "accidently" leave my sexy underwear in your bed
95. I keep myself well dressed and groomed (for the most part)
96. I won't burden you with my PMS problems.
97. I brush my teeth 2x a day
98. Shower atleast once!
99. I'll never kick you in the crotch on purpose.
100. I won't make fun of your manhood (In public)
101. I take exactly one hour from wake up to car to get ready.
102. I pee as fast as a hamster on crack (but into the toilet)
103. I can operate a fire extinguisher
104. I would rather see an epic movie than a chickflick (that's what girlfriends and gays are for)
105. I treat you for ice cream or dinner too!
106. I love suprises.
107. Any present, big or small, will make me happy because I know that you were thinking about me.
108. I know when Pirate Day is.
109. I have all my teeth (minus wisdoms) and they are straight.
110. I pay my own bills.
111. I'm not looking for financial support
112. I don't want to marry you right now.
113. I can't get pregnant unless I want to. (sex all the time!)
114. I'll let you hug me even when you are sweaty.
115. I won't drag you to the manicurist.
116. I don't eat pizza with a fork and knife.
117. I won't go out all night without letting you know and let you freak out.
118. I'll call when I say I will. (or text in lieu of calling if I'm still occupied)
119. I won't text you while you are out with your friends.
120. Your wallet, car and house don't impress me.
121. Treat me like a lady and I will treat you like a man and I will always be there for you.
122. I have a rack that I will shamelessly display for you.
123. I can pick things up with my toes.
124. I don't hog blankets (well, sometimes)
125. I drink a lot of water.
126. I can burp a couple of letters.
127. I can gleak when I eat sour things. (and pretty far too)
128. I still have the Snoopy I was given the day I was born.
129. I can carry a conversation for long than 30 seconds.
130. I memorize weird facts and will regurge them at random oppurtunities.
131. I love ketchup.
132. I won't go through your drawers or try to get into your cellphone/email.
133. I love showering and just laying in the sun (indoors!) to dry off.
134. I keep my car up to date on her oil changes.
135. Your laugh will make me smile years to come.
136. I will put post-its in random places for you to find when I'm not there.
137. I know what a barometer is.
138. I still have my Minnie Mouse Comforter from way back in the day, because they just don't make them the same anymore.
139. I think quarters are the best coin. and 20's are the best bill.
140. I read a lot.
141. You + Me + Dancing + Outdoors + Rain = Afternoon fun.
142. I don't listen to a lot of pop either.
143. You have already invested by reading this, so take a leap.


Comments? Faves? Anything missing?

Sure, she may be an ugly dog, but that is the reality most Totse members have to settle for.

Haha I like this list... and the ideal girl is most of those.


I couldn't find her picture though.

I want to secks you :o NOW!

- ♫.i.b.y.v.n.t.h.♫

PS. Picture?

Best list ever. Too bad girls like this dont exist.

Yes I found this on the web, but it is better suited to this forum.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/280998378.html


71. I would fax you my ass.


That's the one that won me over.

That's stupid and unrealistic. I also imagine that the girl who wrote it was an arrogant, narcissitic bitch who thinks she's amazing and all of those qualities. And also fat and single.

93. I won't put girlie things into your bathroom/shower/room
94. I'll "accidently" leave my sexy underwear in your bed


Bitch please get your nasty ass underwear off my shit before I slap you upside your face with my dick.

Since when were you a moderator?

I sort of agree. It reeks of desperation. Some things are nice but it's scary that she'll tell you straight up she'll do them all. And God damn it I don't want to burp around a woman and I'm not obsessed with cars and I like cuddling after sex

And what the hell? I can pee while she's brushing her teeth? Wh-...b-...I-... *falters*

Some funny 'truisms' but its also sad that she's kind of missed the point.

Which is that what men REALLY want is A WOMAN.

If I wanted someone I could drink beer with and share burps, I'd shag my best (male) mate

Don't get me wrong a lot of the things she mentions are pluses but they aren't important.

I want to be with you because you're you not because you understand the Offside Rule (english football thing).

You can fix a car? Great...but touch my tools without asking and you're still going over my knee.

You always look and smell like a sex goddess? Super but even on bad hair, bad breath and oozing cunny days you're still sleeping naked in my bed next to me.


You can be one of the boys? Then grow a dick...now that i wanta see.

Since when were you a moderator?

Since sambob and Napolean Complex asked Root to make her one (about 3 days ago)

You always look and smell like a sex goddess? Super but even on bad hair, bad breath and oozing cunny days you're still sleeping naked in my bed next to me.

You seriously disgust me sometimes.

Marry me?

Marry me?

Slowdown desperado. The OP copy and pasted from a website.

1 reason while I will be your best boyfriend ever:

FUCK YOU BITCH! I don't give a shit how I stand up to your exes! :)

116. I don't eat pizza with a fork and knife.

Watching a fat girl eat pizza with a fork and knife is hilarious.

Watching a fat girl eat pizza with a fork and knife is hilarious.

Watching someone 'eat' their next meal through a straw cos they laughed at a fat girl and her pizza, is also highy amusing :P

That girl sounds like an idiot. And it doesn't even sound like a joke... Sad. :(

1. I don't like to snuggle everytime we bang.

Well she's automatically off my list of a "would be best girlfriend". I like snuggling.

54. I give supreme oral.

Reason #1.

I'd really like you for a fuckmate; but not as a girlfriend - someone who I'd really love. I want my girl to be a 'traditional' girl. In short, I'll be ditching you as soon as I find the girl I have on my mind.

I am profoundly turned off by her writing style.

No kidding.

#27 was good, though. There is, however, a Superior method.

I married her. Well probably not her, but someone like her.

That's disgusting. I don't watch sports, I like snuggling, and like Jack said I want a woman not one of the boys!

My girl is far superior. :D

42. I will love your penis

That was the only thing that really got my attention. The rest of it was obvious bullshit --- she just wants somebody to pay the bills and fuck her from time to time.

And I bet she's a manatee.

My girlfriend is at least twice as good as this bitch, and definitely WAY better-looking :)

sounds like an ugly, desperate, asian doormat.

"You and your teeth are white and straight. " gold digger/US visa is about to run out

you missed of #144 im a pathological liar

and besides my ideal girlfriend wouldn't waste her time writing about how great she is

self centred much

You always look and smell like a sex goddess? Super but even on bad hair, bad breath and oozing cunny days you're still sleeping naked in my bed next to me.
Thats hilarious... but so true.

I don't understand why the fact that she's Indian is a reason why she will be the best girlfriend. If anything, it's a reason she wouldn't get a look in.

8. I am curvalicious!

Translation: I am fat; Brace yourself.

Here's something I want in a girl.. especially because I've met one that actually behaves this way:

Has a water fight in the middle of a club for fun.

I think it's the closest I've ever been to being in love with someone. It angers me something shocking.

I like trouble-makers. Open/closed, drugs/clean, smart/dumb, pretty/ugly, crazy/sane...don't give a shit. As long as she's by my side when I blow up the 20-gallon tank of gasoline and then fucks me afterwards, I'm set and I'm in love. God, I love to blow shit up.

Anyone near Rockford, IL want to set some shit on fire?

that sounds pretty much like a gf i used to have. holy shit!! where did you find this?

niccccce

Post pic for great justice.