Ok, I know it’s a long read, but I love reading through what everyone has to say on s&a – I’ve just finished reading 7 pages worth of stuff, so I’m guessing there’ll be someone else out there, bored like me, who’ll find this an interesting read. Plus, I find writing to be such a good release from everyday life…

Anyways about one month ago now - I asked a friend of mine whether they’d be going to Glastonbury (a UK music festival) this year, she said no but hooked me up with her classmate who was going. From square one we hit it off – staying up till stupid hours in the morning on the phone/on MSN/texting each other, and then a week later, we went on our first date - to a gig, where we had an absolutely amazing night and had our first (and second and third and god knows how many more kisses). Then from then on, we were in a sense, addicted to each other – meeting whenever we could and having great times together.

It wasn’t before long before she began to severely hint about asking her out, and she got plenty of her friends to persuade me in doing so. I, personally, was a bit sceptical – I felt things were a bit rushed, and that 2 weeks wasn’t enough to be fully sure on whether I wanted things to escalate between us. I guess my first mistake was failing to mention my concerns, so I blindly gave in to her demands and asked her out. We spent a further week together, still having the most amazing of times – still cuddling up in bed watching the films we both loved; lying underneath the stars together; getting lost on huge walks in the country and hitting the local pub which serves underage and dancing together all night. Then one night, on the bus home, everything felt different. The next evening, she told me on msn that we ‘rushed into things’ and wanted to just be friends - not really giving an explanation as to why.

I’m not naïve, and it annoyed so much that she wouldn’t open up and tell me what was wrong - especially since her reason of ‘rushing into things’ was arguably her fault. But most of all, I felt very confused, as I’ve never really known her as a friend. It felt as though if I acted as I did before it would just be the same, and she obviously didn’t want that. I tried to distance myself from her, and for a solid 2 weeks of so, we just argued, and argued, and made up, then discussed old times, and begun to argue again. Eventually, she told me her previous relationship was very abusive, and she was scared of the same thing happening over again. Instinctively I just wanted to hold her and be there for her; the extent to how abusive she said the relationship was just painful to hear and the images that went through my head nearly brought me to tears. As I looked back on the arguments we’ve had, and all the things I said to her – I felt selfish and realised how wrong I actually was. Instead of me constantly asking questions, all she needed was just some reassurance that everything would be ok with me.

Ever since, I’ve been there for her as a very close mate. The feelings still haven’t died, but I’m so uncertain as to whether she still feels the same way. One day, it’ll be like an exact replica of when we was going out, then suddenly she just won’t talk, or will treat me like a piece of shit. I’ve ‘gotten over her’ many a time now, but whenever the ‘old her’ comes back, I mindlessly come running back too. I think my confusion and general paranoia overplay her ‘bad phases’ sometimes, but still, something just doesn’t feel right at times. Which brings me to tonight – I decided to have a quiet night and end up having a really good conversation with her on msn, where we agree to meet tomorrow and see what happens. Then all of a sudden, like before, she just changes, and everything comes to a halt. She says she has to go, but stays online. Then every time I try and speak, she keeps saying she has to go and that more people keep chatting to her – thus making her stay on longer. Out of curiosity I say I have to go and she asks me to text her before she goes to bed. I change my status to ‘appear offline’ and go and play some poker. Eventually after draining a few tables, I get round to texting her, and I’ve noticed her and a boy mate of hers have stayed on for at least another hour then go offline together. I’m not a jealous person to be honest, but I just can’t help thinking what the fuck.

She replies shortly after and says she was reading a book. I didn’t bother questioning her because I really didn’t feel like starting another argument, and after a few texts we started get quite passionate with each other and describing the things we’ll be doing together tomorrow. Back when we were together, we didn’t have a sexual relationship; to be quite honest I didn’t quite have the confidence – knowing that she spent a year with that other guy who fucked with her head, and with me not having the greatest sex record to date lol – ‘drunken shenanigans, faked orgasms and false accusations’ I’d call it if I was to write a song about it…

Anyways, this writing has helped cleared my mind up loads, I don’t really feel like posting now – after reading through, but I might aswell. Maybe it’ll be of interest to someone, and maybe some of you will be kind enough to throw some advise at me at you see fit.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on what happens tomorrow if any of you are interested.

Take care totse, thanks for listening ;)

Run away man =/. She sounds like nothing but bad news... Cut off all contact, times like this you need to overcome your want for her, and just give up. She's playing games with you.. and clearly it isn't doing any good for you, the ons and offs and what not.

I know some others will agree with me..

Just don't be stupid, use common sense instead of emotion..

Good luck.

Ahh man, you sound exactly like what my mind was telling me to do last night. I get so close to cutting her off, then she just comes back and says something amazing, in her own little way. There's so many things I couldn't put into words which need taking into consideration though.

The stupid thing is though, I can actually get girls who are "so much better", and when things fuck up with them, I just laugh it off and move on... I can't with her :(

You think playing along with it for the fun times and experience is worth it? Or just more damaging in the long run...

Ahh man, you sound exactly like what my mind was telling me to do last night. I get so close to cutting her off, then she just comes back and says something amazing, in her own little way. There's so many things I couldn't put into words which need taking into consideration though.

The stupid thing is though, I can actually get girls who are "so much better", and when things fuck up with them, I just laugh it off and move on... I can't with her :(

You think playing along with it for the fun times and experience is worth it? Or just more damaging in the long run...

No...reason being, you'll get more and more emotionally attached, and thus causing the final break or her fucking with you in a negative way, to be disastrous to you.


You seem like a good guy, really I don't think you deserve that, give up, get over it and find a nice girl that will love you just as much as you love her... Its a nice feeling, trust me :)

I’m not trying to sound distasteful, but it’s immensely blatant that she wanted some ‘bonus time’ with you as well, and she felt that you were being awfully frigid and gave up.

You see how she told you to text her before you go to bed, and it then become quite flirty, almost ‘sexy’? Get a clue dude.

And these little sparks she has with you over msn ect just come naturally with her.

Your so immersed in her little ‘cuteness’ that you fail to see her obvious female cynicism.

Summary: She only gives a fuck about herself.

You can do better man.

P.S. Btw you are naïve, sorry. Lol.