This is going to be quite long, so please, if you don't actually care about helping out, read the last paragraph.

I'm normally too vain to ask for help on here, but I've decided to take a break from the ranting and advice-giving to ask everyone's help. I've decided I'd like a relationship, and it's up to you to get me into one.

I haven't had a relationship or gotten laid in quite a while (barring the occasional blowjob here and there), and I think now-ish would be a good time. I don't know what the problem is. I've got confidence, I look good, have a car, cash, etc. And that's not really how you pick up chicks anyway, so it doesn't even matter.

I know many attractive girls who I'm friends/acquaintances with, but I've got a few issues with asking them out. Mainly, they'll turn me down, and then go on and tell all their friends/etc, and in doing what girls do best, I'll be left with my masculinity shattered and in pieces, back in my bottle and cigarettes. I want to avoid that.

Yet I don't engage women I meet out in the real world (Who I won't ever see again), because, once again, I'm afraid of the demasculation.

I'm quite social, but I often put my foot in my mouth and that gets me on some people's bad sides. I'm quite funny, but I don't know when to shut up.

So, I guess you could say I don't quite have the confidence I'd like to. I should work on that. I have to stop praying that I'll magically attract women, and they'll let me know exactly what they want.

All that being said, what the fuck is wrong with me, and how do I fix it? I'm looking for a woman, ranging from a 1-night stand to a long-term relationship, but lately I have absolutely no game. What the fuck. Yes, it could be that I've been cooped up indoors too long and I don't have a great palette to select from, but still, somebody CURE ME. I've set a goal to get a girlfriend (or at least get a couple of 1nighters) before the end of the month.

For the lazy:

I've got a terrible dry spell and I need a woman. I can't seem to find one, and they don't want to fall into my lap. What are my options, and what do I do? I want this issue to resolve quickly. At this point, anything you've got is appreciated.

Back yourself, go to somewhere where girls get drunk and try to pick up (a club, of course), and pick them up.

You have absolutely nothing to lose if you're not a regular player in the club. So just do it, and believe in yourself.

Go on. Do it.

I fucking hate clubs though. Everyone's a wanker, and then I feel like a fucking tool.

What a great start. I'm an hour into it, and I'm drunk on my couch, all a-fucking-lone.

I can't blame anybody, but I just don't like it.

Yet I don't engage women I meet out in the real world (Who I won't ever see again), because, once again, I'm afraid of the demasculation.
...
So, I guess you could say I don't quite have the confidence I'd like to. I should work on that. I have to stop praying that I'll magically attract women, and they'll let me know exactly what they want.


Have a few bottles of the elixer of courage, go out with your friends to back you up and chat up some girls.
Some you will woo, some you won't. You won't have a 100% success rate, but that's the game!
It's just something you have to deal with if you don't want to be lonely.

Have a few bottles of the elixer of courage, go out with your friends to back you up and chat up some girls.
Some you will woo, some you won't. You won't have a 100% success rate, but that's the game!
It's just something you have to deal with if you don't want to be lonely.

That is great advice, but there are times when I have to be sober. Am I fucked then, or do I just go for it?

I mean, it's normal for a man to ask a woman out. But then why am I so afraid that if I ask out one of my friends from class, she'll say no (because for some reason she's above me??) and tell her friends, and they'll tell everyone, and then the entire campus will exile me.

Man I'm nuts.

Your whole campus knows you? Seriously, even celebrities dont get that much lip in day-to-day gossip that you think.

I find it funny that I know what will happen if I ask someone from class to go out, even if she says yes or no. Most usually, nothing. Get yourself over the hump of asking, though. Have an attitude of "if you dont date me, fuck you. I'm too good for you anyway".

I'll try to watch this thread. I do wonder though, after some point of this "dry spell" does it take friends help to get you into a relationship? I have that arrogant attitude towards close friends as given away by my wit, I also know enough that people dont gossip as much about you as you think, yet I cant find it in me to ask a date. It took me a year to ask a coworker/fellow student before she left for DC. It took me that long to assure myself she was into me. All for nothing...

Damn I suck.

That is great advice, but there are times when I have to be sober. Am I fucked then, or do I just go for it?

I mean, it's normal for a man to ask a woman out. But then why am I so afraid that if I ask out one of my friends from class, she'll say no (because for some reason she's above me??) and tell her friends, and they'll tell everyone, and then the entire campus will exile me.

Man I'm nuts.

Alcohol is really just a placebo, you've got it inside of you!
You're only afraid because it's different to what you're used to. That's pretty much all fear is; the unknown!
But you've got the human ability to think 'hey, shit, asking a girl out is normal!' so just go for it man!

Practice not being scared of it, then soon enough that'll be second nature.

ffs just lower your fucking standards.

Argon, I am going to try. I'm going to ask a couple of people out this week, and I'm not going to stop when I get a yes. I figure it's best to ask out 20 people and get 5-10 yeses, as you are then in control and have total power to choose exactly who you want (playing into my hand). No, my campus doesn't know me, and I'd like it to stay that way.

And Cathartic, I am going to try. It's not quite that I'm scared, I can't explain quite what it is. But it's akin to taking your pants off in front of a woman and being laughed out of the bedroom. I don't fear that, and I have no reason to, it's just something I think every man has in the back of their head.

I hope that's clear enough.

Reminds me of a psych experiment:

Generic "attractive" experimenter walks up to people of the opposite gender on a college campus and asks:

"Hi, I've noticed you around campus, and I think you're attractive. Would you like to go on a date with me?"

Guys say yes 50% of the time, girls say yes 50% of the time.

"Hi, I've noticed you around campus, and I think you're attractive. Would you like to come back to my apartment?"

Guys say yes 75% of the time, girls say yes 5% of the time.

"Hi, I've noticed you around campus, and I think you're attractive. Would you like to have sex?"

Guys say yes 90% of the time, girls say yes 1% of the time.


The point of the experiment is how damn different men and women are, but all I could think of at the time was "Damn, girls will say yes to a random dinner invitation 50% of the time?"

So my advice to you is to walk up to hotties on campus and try that exact line. Then buy them dinner, and just be yourself. You'll lose some money on the dinners, but you may get some nice ass, and if you're truly yourself on the dates you may get a great long-term-relationship.

-B

So my advice to you is to walk up to hotties on campus and try that exact line. Then buy them dinner, and just be yourself.

Nice post. They say it's best to ask her out for a drink, not dinner, on the first date though.

You'd be surprised how many girls will say yes to a date. They'll be so flattered that you asked that they very well might accept.

We guys are so terrified of getting the dreaded "no, go away" that we don't realize what a big compliment we're giving the girls by asking them out.

Just be calm about it, don't overplay (nobody likes a smart-ass) and be yourself.

Reminds me of a psych experiment:

The point of the experiment is how damn different men and women are, but all I could think of at the time was "Damn, girls will say yes to a random dinner invitation 50% of the time?"

So my advice to you is to walk up to hotties on campus and try that exact line. Then buy them dinner, and just be yourself. You'll lose some money on the dinners, but you may get some nice ass, and if you're truly yourself on the dates you may get a great long-term-relationship.

-B

I will follow this advice. Although I will paraphrase and say "get something to eat/drink/coffee" probably more than I will straight out say "go out". I'll do it for 2 weeks, and I will give you a tallied result in two weeks time. Wish me luck.

Damn I should do this whole 'ask a bunch of people out thing', but nah, I really don't feel like it. That's way too much stress. Good idea though.

Don't be a pussy. I'm going to do it. You have to as well. COME ON!

Don't be a pussy. I'm going to do it. You have to as well. COME ON!

I'm not being a pussy. I'm doing exactly what I want to do (nothing).

I'll think about doing it.

Goddamit "The server is too busy at the moment. Please try again later."

Here's to the start of a brand new mindset. *Off to school to try it out*

Ok, the main problem I encountered was groups. Be it with girls or guys, it's a lot harder to barge into a group and put 1 girl in the spotlight. Tips for groups?

Dont. At least I wouldnt. Wouldnt you think it a bit odd if a random stranger walks up to you and says "Jenny, yea you should definitely go with that eyeliner and the pink lipstick. Hey do you wanna go out?"

In my case, there are plenty of females walking to or from classes alone at all times of the day. What about you?

There's always lots of girls, but because it's exam time, I'm stressed, and they're stressed, and most people are moving out to go back home for the summer. In short, I'm fucked in terms of the campus over the summer, but hopefully I'll have the beach, the mall, etc. Also, in general, here in Toronto, girls don't seem to like walk in singles.

Today, I didn't do anything. No excuses, just didn't feel confident enough. Let's hope for tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll go out in my bathrobe to get the mail and there'll be a hot chick just waiting to sex me up...

poor fucking you. everyone is telling you exactly what to do and for some reason you're still wallowing in self pity... get the hell out there man! jesus.

I'm not wallowing in self pity. I'm making an effort to go out there. Shit doesn't happen overnight. I've made a goal for a couple of dates before the month is through, I'm working towards that goal. So fuck you, and chill a bit. It's been one fucking day.

Day 2. Didn't ask anyone out, almost, but no dice. But I did convince my friend (just barely) to ask out an asian girl, and he did, and she said yes.

Now I feel retarted.