My girlfriend and i have known each other for about two years now, we have been seeing each other for just under that. I feel as if i could spend the rest of my life with her. We get on together so well and we are really good friends as well as lovers. I have been contemplating the thought of asking her to marry me in august for some time now(it is only a thought). If i did, i probably we probably wouldnt actually have the wedding until we had both finished uni.

When is it right to get married? Should it be based on emotion or the situation that you are in? Should you wait till both are earning proper money and have a stable life? What makes a stable marriage?

I can't tell you what would be a stable marriage... being currently unmarried myself! But I think marriage is probably generally right whenever it feels right! Although weddings can be pretty fucking expensive, so it depends what you'd both want out of that. I think my major question is, do you currently live with your girlfriend? I know some people don't want to live with a partner before they get married, but I personally think it's the only reliable way to find out if you can actually stand living together, 24/7. It can be pretty intense...

I think a stable marriage would be built over a stable partnership. Not just a fling of emotion, but when you know you are two best friends as well as lovers. When you know that you can function as well in the bad times as the good, then you could probably rest a little easier about it.
Oh, and congratulations, I suppose!

Why do married couples have to live together?

being joined to the hip like that can't be healthy in the long term (and high divorce rates would tend to agree with me).

When your ready to commit 100% for the rest of your life, though thick and thin and are evenlooking foward to facing the challenges of raising a family with her.

When is it right to get married?

Never.

www.NoMarriage.com

I think my major question is, do you currently live with your girlfriend? I know some people don't want to live with a partner before they get married, but I personally think it's the only reliable way to find out if you can actually stand living together, 24/7. It can be pretty intense...


QFMFT!!!

ABSOLUTELY live with her before tying the knot. There are literally thousands of small quirks that we all have, and you won't know if yours and hers will mesh and be tolerable unless you are in that situation. It could be your definition of cleanliness, how you fold the towels, how hot or cold it has to be in the bedroom for sleeping, morning person vs. night person.....etc. ad nauseum.

Since you are both in the university, I'm assuming you are in your early or mid 20's. I myself didn't marry my wife until I was 31, but then again we didn't meet until I was 28. Personally, I was glad to get all the failed relationships out of my system and was able to learn from them. Also, while I was single I banged enough pussy to not now feel as if I'm missing somthing......so I'll be faithful until I die. I'm not saying you are too young, just know what worked for me.

As for what makes a marriage work......I would say communication and laughter/humor. If you have constant open lines of talking, then you are well on your way to trust as well as a foundation to work through all of lifes ups and downs. And if they are that special someone that can always make you laugh, even for the silliest corniest things (like your little private jokes)......then life will be that much more joyful and fun.

Remember that if she is very attached to her family, you are pretty much marrying them as well. Whether its Xmas, funerals, BBQ's, whatever......you are going to be around these people quite a bit. So if you and her dad are at odds, or hate her brother, or Uncle John creeps you out.....there is no escaping those scenarios.

Lastly, analyze her flaws and be honest with yourself. They ain't going away, and time will only make them grate on your nerves that much more. What is now a minor annoyance while you are dating, going steady, whatever.....it could be a major war zone many years from now depending on how they are in contrast to your values and needs.

Never.

www.NoMarriage.com

That site is scary as fuck.

Though it may be an american thing. I don't often hear of husbands here getting raped in court.

You never know someone properly until you´re on their territory. My uncle´s girlfriend lived in his house first, and she was sweet and everything... now he lives in a house her parents bought them (it´s big, for the kids after they got married), and she´s a frigging monster. I always knew she was crazy anyway.

You have to live with her first, because different families/cultures/religions hold different traditions, and some of the things she does, which now don´t seem like a big deal, will when you try to tell her for the 1000th time. Like for example, in a Russian household, you don´t whistle. It´s considered that if you whistle inside a house, you´re whistling away all the money there. I´ve met atleast 20 more Russians whose families also have this quirk, not just mine. And because of years of scolding from my mum and grandmother, it´s kind of transfered itself onto me. Now my husband can´t for the life of him understand the logic behind this, and has always liked whistling tunes around the house. I highly consider killing him every time he does this, and he probably thinks I´m psycho because of how fast I snap when I hear him whistling indoors.

It doesn´t seem like a big deal, but it gets old fast.

Live with her, learn her quirks, learn to deal with them, consider if you CAN live with them for the next 5, 10, 20, 50 years. Is she your best friend and confidante? Can you see yourself with her when shes old, fat and unattractive because you´ll still have so much to talk about?

once the daily blowjobs stop its all downhill from there

Sorry folks i completly lost this thread, and have only just went hunting for it!

I feel really bad because there is so much good advice.

We are great friends, I regard her as the best friend i have. We are great lovers, the sex is great but the relationship feels more centered around being in each others close company. Instead of fucking like mad all day, every day.

We go to different universities so we have no idea what it is like living with each other 24/7. However we are going around europe for a month in the summer holidays which will be a test of how we can handle being around each other for an extended period of time.

I would love to pop the question on top of the eiffel tower, or on a beach in italy. But i think she would freak at this point in our lifes and so would I!(plus i would want to buy her a bloody expensive ring which i cant do right now!)

I would definatly want to live with her for a while and her with me, to make sure if we could actually live together.

Thank you for all the great advice, sorry that i lost the thread.

Move in with her for a year or so, then you'll be able to tell if you want to marry her or not.

I would love that to happen! At this current point in time I would do anything to be with her. Its just that I am in Glasgow, and she is in Edinburgh... Graduation from uni is say 3 years away, its so fucking long away!

I guess it will be good to see if we can handle being apart as much as we can handle being together. It is probably just as important.

A friend who is a lot older then me once told me the way to know that if you're ready to marry the girl is go on a long road trip with her where supplies are scarce and you only have each other. Either way, good luck buddy. Marriage is a beautiful thing.

It's all good advice on here so far.

My wife and I met in highschool, started going out, went to uni, got engaged, bought a house, got married, had kids, and are still very much in love after going out and being married for about 14 years so far.

You will both know if you are right for each other - and make sure you move in together for a while before getting married. We house sat for a few people before buying a place. And it was all good, so we kept ramping up the commitment.

Marriage isn't about always being happy either - it's about mutual respect and love. It can sometimes be crazy, but on the whole very much worth while with the right person.

And remember - no two marriages are the same, so don't base yours on someone elses. There are people that are happy with open marriages, religious marriages, and everything in between.

Its just that I am in Glasgow, and she is in Edinburgh...

She's already fucking somebody else.

I would say DON'T live together before you marry. Why? I have no idea, but the divorce rates of couples who do that are WAY higher.

I was just looking through the Internet at some stats, and it looks like you are right!

Although I guess if the decision to get married has been made, then the couple move in together, then get married, that would increase the odds somewhat.

I always assumed it was better to move in together first. I guess it just felt like a good idea!

I was just looking through the Internet at some stats, and it looks like you are right!

Although I guess if the decision to get married has been made, then the couple move in together, then get married, that would increase the odds somewhat.

I always assumed it was better to move in together first. I guess it just felt like a good idea!
It seems like a good idea too to me, but apparently not...? Well, since your marriage is still going strong, I'd say the OP should just do what feels best. :D

I didn't read all the posts, but I agree with those who say that you need to try to live with her 24/7.

Seriously, if you can stand the test of living together for a while without things going downhill too fast, then maybe you have marriage material.

I really dont know why i am even thinking about this at this stage of my life! We wont be able to live together for another 3/4 years, even longer if i go mad and decided to a phd...

I would definatly want to take it really slowly, my emotions have a habbit of stabbing me in the back :(

you're in pretty much the same boat as me, except he already asked me to marry him, and it's not finishing uni, it's other similar things.

there's no set time to marry, it's entirely up to the couple. when you both feel it's right, then it's probably right.

I'd like to get married to a wheelbarrow, but sadly that isn't permitted yet.

Are you going to wait untill you can live together or just go for it now?

This might be a gross generalisation... but might that be for religious / traditional reasons? I know a few couples that got married having never lived together because pre-marital sex is frowned upon by their religion and their fairly strict families therefore weren't happy for them to live together beforehand. And if divorce is equally as frowned upon, then the marriages *are* more likely to last, as there isn't a lot of choice.

This might be a gross generalisation... but might that be for religious / traditional reasons? I know a few couples that got married having never lived together because pre-marital sex is frowned upon by their religion and their fairly strict families therefore weren't happy for them to live together beforehand. And if divorce is equally as frowned upon, then the marriages *are* more likely to last, as there isn't a lot of choice.

Statistics are generally useless. They can easily be twisted and altertered to fit a view point.