I always spend Saturdays at my boyfriends because we work together and he lives nearby where we work. However, three weeks ago I left work early and didn't see him that night which I was really sad about because I hadn't seen him all week. A few night later, after quite a bit of begging he came to my house basically just for sex and left when he woke up the next day. The reason I'd begged him to come over was because I've been seeing an old ex of mine almost daily - completely plutonically, but I'm sure he'd like it to be more - and I just really wanted to remind myself of who I was really seeing.

Anyways, that was Wednesday and I didn't see or talk to him again until the next Saturday when I had to leave work early again. On Monday he sent me a text message, but I haven't heard from him all week. So, it's been nearly three weeks since we've spent any significant time together and he really hasn't even called me hardly in all this time. No, actually, he hasn't called me once all this time. He sent me a text message on Monday. That's all.

Frankly, I don't think we're even still together, but I've been through this before with him and I know that when I come into the bar tonight and ask him "So, are we still together?" He's going to freak out and act like I'm being a huge bitch who is trying to force him to be with me every second of the day. Or he'll say something like "Well, you didn't call me either." But, I did call him, several times. He never answers his phone, so eventually I stopped.

I mean, I don't see how we're even together if he doesn't even like talking to me enough to call me once in three weeks, or come to see me. It's ridiculous. Or am I overreacting?

Cheers,
Lost

In every relationship, one person is always more invested then the other. And when thats the case, theres really no point in continuing on. What good is a relationship where you can go a month without really seeing each other?

If he doesnt want to see you, move on.

I've tried to dump him, though, before and it never works. He always finds a way to make it my fault or he says things like

"You're just thinking you're missing out on something else. You want to be able to fuck other people." etc... and we always end up hooking back up.

I do just want to move on, but I also don't want to cause a huge uproar at my job.

Cheers,
Lost

In every relationship, one person is always more invested then the other. And when thats the case, theres really no point in continuing on.


right there, you just stated that every relationship is pointless.

Fact of the matter is that you deserve more than what you're getting. Its obvious you two shared some kind of connection at one point, but if this connection has weakened, and if it was the entire point of the relationship in the beginning, then there is no reason to continue it.

All I can tell you is never to let anyone else dictate your future. Even those we love have no lease on our lives. True independence is one of the highest forms of inner happiness, and finding it sometimes means making sacrifices which are temporarily painful. However, these sacrifices always lend themselves toward your long-term happiness.

Take a moment to really study how valuable you are as a person, and then make it a point to regard this as his loss, and an investment in your future happiness.

I don't have a doubt in my mind that you're going to be able to move on.

right there, you just stated that every relationship is pointless.
Got to it before I did. :p

I don't think you're overreacting, LC.

With every thread you make about this guy, he sounds more and more like a worthless asshole. Just break up with him already.

Aren't you still kinda busy? Even if you wanted to devote more of your free time to clinging to him like you were 15? How much time would you actually have to do that?

If he was really interested, wouldn't he work at finding more opportunities to be with you? If he doesn't work with you towards that end, won't numerous 'windows' be lost?

After all: you'll be '27' one day & 'lost' for good! :p

seems like you know what must be done. Go forth and do it my child

I think he's trying to tell you something.

:(

It sounds like he's just being an asshole, unless his job is that much of an influence on him.

And if he just turns the situation around on you, then just leave. You're not there to argue, you're there to get something done and over with (maybe literally)