Now I don't mean to complain like a little bitch about my personal probems, but all I'm asking for is some good help and advice.

I've always had problems with fitting in with people, talking to girls, making friends, and just talking to people in general.I was often ridiculed and criticized for most of my life, ever since the first grade. I just didn't blend well with society, people never really accepted me for who I was. I was always depressed because of this. It got even worse when highschool came. I really started to hate everything then. I started failing all my classes and just got fucked up everyday. I became more and more anti-social, and to this day, I don't really consider anybody my friends, only acquaintances. People I hang out with occasionally. I don't really think I can depend on someone outside of my family if I had a problem. If I was to get in a fight or get jumped, I don't even think anybody would back me up. I usually go places by myself and hang out by myself, because people always just tend to piss me off. Another thing is, that I always feel I have to bend my ways of acting or behaving in social situations. It's like everybody has to put on a mask and conform to the social norms to be accepted as an individual, and if you try to be yourself and do your own thing, bend the rules of society, people hate that shit. That's another reason why I tend not to hang out with people much.

Apart of me does not give a flying fuck about trying to improve my social skills with people, but I guess its just part of being human. We as humans are social creatures who, for the most part, depend on interacting with other human beings to be psychologicaly healthy.

I think my communicative skills have gotten a little bit better over the years, thanks to alcohol. I don't really get fucked up everyday, mostly on weekends, and I try not to rely on drugs and alcohol to make myself feel good about myself, because that's just bullshit when you have to hide behind a substance everyday as well. It's kind of strange though, but I think my drunken socializing at parties, gave me more confidence and self-esteem, that it rubbed off on my sober state of mind. I'm now eighteen, and I do feel alot more confident in myself than I did two or three years ago, but I still have kind of the same problems only to a lesser degree.

I guess the thing I care about most, and that scares the shit out of me, is that I will never find true love because of my lame ass communicative skills. I use to think I was an ugly, unattractive person, but I don't feel that way anymore. I now am comfortable with my appearance, and pretty girls have come to find me as an attractive person, but that's it. When I hook up with girls, it never lasts for more than a week or a month. Since I cannot maintain a stable relationship, I have come to think that I am boring, plain person, with no character. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not making a connection with the right girls.

I just want some advice on how to deal/talk to people better(girls for the most part). What are easier ways to break the ice, maintain interesting conversations with girls, without boring them to death?

Something about the drunk and sober states of mind: They're the same 'you'...you're just too slow when drunk to let your self-doubt kick in before you speak.

That's likely to bring problems into a relationship, however, as more than a couple days with someone will probably reveal low confidence to them.

If you're worried that you are the problem, then you are the problem. If you don't like to open up and chat a storm, don't...you should be confident in who you are as to know your personal boundaries and enforce them. Don't force yourself to do shit that makes you feel crappy; if you have internal dialog telling you to say something, and you're worrying about what to speak of, then you're going to sound like an inexperienced and frail fool...especially if forced conversation is contrary to your personality.

I'm going to cut this post short and put it concisely: Do what is comfortable for you.

I really used to have the same problem. It resulted in me becoming a bitter, unhappy, mean person. But, I made a ton of friends as soon as I stopped being nice and started being an asshole. I'm not telling you to be an asshole, that's a terrible idea. I'm just saying: The real you is always better when you put yourself out there. I was trying to be a nice guy, people don't like it when you're trying to be something you're not. I'm not a nice guy, I'm an asshole at heart. So, I started saying things other people were thinking. They thought I was funny and poof, people liked me.

"Tell us again about radio frequencies..." -My stoned friend.

"Alright, I'm a fucking bookwork, we get it. Why don't you stop asking me stupid questions and pick up a fucking book. You can read, right? Are you too busy looking like a pig?" -First time I was ever an asshole. I was stoned.

See? It wasn't too mean, but it was mean enough to be funny. The kid was bugging me, so I ripped him a new one. I had already explained radios to him like, three times. He was just asking me to show everyone else that I was a geek.

Yeah, I totally get what you guys are saying. Fuck, I just get so lonely sometimes. I don't even know why I even try. I don't know, I'm just all confused and fucked in the head.

I am a really nice guy as well. Probably way to nice. To the point where people just start trying to take advantage of me. When people talk shit to me, I won't even say anything back to them, I'll just ignore them and walk away. Fuck man, people really piss me off. Why is it that nice people are always treated like shit, and the cocky assholes are always admired? I hate those type of people though. I don't think I can see myself acting like that. They feed off of other peoples emotions to try and make themselves feel good and impress other people.

A lot of guys with lower confidence (not crippling, mind you) notice that they get more female attention when they're in a relationship. What they don't notice, is that they have no pressure to 'act' around women when they're in a relationship, so they just act like themselves...giving an air of confidence that gets pussy like magnets get iron.

Don't mistake a spine for hubris though...if people are talking shit to your face, exercise your judgment: if you're tired of being stepped on, stand the fuck up to assholes that treat you like you have no substance.

Punching out some cockwad that thinks you're a pushover is not feeding on their emotions, nor trying to impress anyone...it's keeping your ground. If they're all talk and aren't actually trying to take advantage of you, just leave them be. Good judgment is derived from bad judgment...I've been where you say you are...it sucks.

Cajones, man...they're all ya need.

Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss

Although it applies more to learning how to pick up girls, it also helps with social skills overall. Its a non-fiction book, so it provides for somer interesting insight.

http://www.succeedsocially.com is a good site. really good, honest and useful advice. read it.

When you find someone you get along with reeeeally well, you'll open up and it'll be easy. If you're lucky, you'll "click" and you can not talk for months, but still be comfortable with one another and open.

I was never an outgoing person, but once, on a whim I just went for it and opened up to someone. We were friends then, we're together now and have been for nearing two years.
Another person this happened with, about a year after the first time, was with a good friend of mine. We don't see each other anywhere near as much as I'd like to, which is crushing really, but I still hold him in high regard. We just get on incredibly well?
The experience of letting go and good coming of it encouraged me to force myself to be more talkative and friendly, not change myself but just not to hold back or worry. It's been good. It's been the best thing I've ever done, socially.
I'm still quiet and far from the most outgoing person, but I'm just open and friendly with anyone. I don't mind people talking to me at the bus stop, I'll smile at people in the street, I'll be cute with someone's kid if they climb all over me on the bus.
Getting a job in retail helped too, because I had to be friendly and smiley and put up with kids, I used to hate kids with a passion.

Um, yeah, so there's hope for you too :]
Get a job in retail to get used to talking to people you don't know, maybe something local so there's familiar faces. Ignore your doubts about yourself sometime, let go and talk to someone. Smile, practice smiling at people in the street or people who look at you when you're about. I'm not talking manic grin, I'm talking little smiles, holding eyes for a second and flashing some teeth briefly. Ohhh, do it with little kids, they always smile at you and they're hardly going to say "fuck off pervert" or "WTF YOU LOOKIN@ AT?".
And stick up for yourself, you can be choosy with people. There's no point hanging around with trash, being alone is better than being walked all over. Never allow others to use your spine as a stepping stone :]

Try not to able to speak english well enough and is hard of hearing.


Many people don't bother to come and talk to me because it's too much of hassle for them.

I know how you feel..

I'm sorta the same way. I'm not really shy, but I don't talk to people I don't know unless they talk to me first, and as a result I don't have as many friends as some. I have a lot of friends though, just not as many as I would. Most people like me once they get to know me though.

[QUOTE=NaRcO;8080647] I am a really nice guy as well. Probably way to nice. To the point where people just start trying to take advantage of me. When people talk shit to me, I won't even say anything back to them, I'll just ignore them and walk away. Fuck man, people really piss me off. QUOTE]

dude, i know what you mean. people fuck around with you and shit, do you care that they do? people do the same with me but i really dont give a shit and they know it, but if i did they would stop, maybe this is your case or maybe its not. do what i do if somebody doesnt know me and they fuck with me and they go too far i beat their ass, simple as that. just let them know that it is really annoying the hell out of you.

wikihow.com

great site for these type of questions

you all need to stop wallowing in your anger and sorrows and be fucking men. i used to be like the OP and others in this thread, but i manned up and tried to socialize with people. you all have to realize that the world is how you make it. don't like how you are now? change it. sure you can bitch and moan about people fucking with you, or you can pick yourself up and work at life. stop focusing on the negitive aspects of your life, stop thinking about how people treat you "unfairly", because do you think they give a shit about what you think? they dont. if you fall into negitivity, you'll end up either seriously fucked up or you'll end up like eric and dylan from columbine.

Get a job in retail to get used to talking to people you don't know

This has helped me so much. All those people with all their goddam questions, and you get to stand there with a smile on your face as they make your life harder. But it helps.

Just be confident. Do something that makes you more confident too, something which most people can't do. I picked up trampolining and parkour. As corny as it sounds, six months in, I could see how firmly rooted people are to the ground, how unconfident in motion they are, and I would just grin to myself.

Kick back, and remind yourself that you're not losing anything if a particular person doesn't like you. I was absolutely socially inept for a long time(I was "the weird kid", the "smart kid who lets us cheat off his tests", and, sadly, my high school's first "trench coat kid"), got fed up with it, and said, essentially, "Fuck it, I don't give a rat's ass anyways." I just acted natural, which to me is cocky, confident, and smart.

Next thing I know, my social circle became enormous. I haven't had a single problem with keeping anyone around either, except for the people I get rid of. It sounds arrogant, but it's the truth. I take control of what I can, let slide what doesn't.

I've never had trouble with girls when I approach them, I don't know what it is, probably confidence. I get bored and irritated with them far before they get rid of me. If I find one I like, I keep her, like I'm doing now.

If you honestly don't like people, don't worry about it, keep acquaintances for boredom/drugs/whatever you want, and make good friends of the ones you feel are worthy of it. Just get some confidence, and push it through in everything you do.