Alright.. here's my problems:

I blow my load before it's even in..

Seriously, I feel like I'm fastest shot in the west, I don't know what the hell I'm to do.

Then I try and continue to do it semi-hard either after that, or a few hours down the line but my other problem..

It just keeps slipping out. I get it in, try and thrust a bit and it pops out again. I can never manage to get it in by myself, I always need the girl to grab me and have her insert it manually.

Even though I can get my fair share of sex I can't seem to be any good.. what do I do?

Although it's not an ideal solution, anti-depressants such as prozac have been known to delay the male climax.

murder/suicide.

But seriously, you lucky bastard.

Edit: try exercising your pc muscle & training yourself with stop'n'go while masturbating.