This is truly the greatest thing I've EVER EVER read, please don't delete it jack.

quote: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either... but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

How does that make you feel women?

It kind of makes me feel like drop kicking that woman for making the rest of us look like cold bitches.

Kind of.

Fucking old, and I would rape her anyways.

hahaha...good read

It's amazing how many women there are out there like that.

Funny, but sad to know its so true.

quote:Originally posted by Zig Zag:

hahaha...good read

One of the best things I've read in awhile.

WIN.

thx. thats awesome

Funny Stuff :)

ha. silly bitch!

I actually LOLed

Good read

Beautifull :)
I actually rofloled

Ha brilliant :)

I just crashed my roflcopter

Hahahaha, fuckin owned...

Ahahaha, that's priceless!

Only thing thats made me laugh today, so far.

Old~!

Haha, oh that was awesome.

Lmfao, pure gold.

I saw that coming. I wanted to yell a Mencia "BIIIITCH! Drop that shit NOWWW!"

So very true.

I didn't see that coming. That was fucking great.

lulz she got own'd hardcore

Amen!

That made me proud to carry a pair of balls around.


Thats one thing you cant buy in the department store:A man's dignity.

Had a quick lolz0r.

Fucking classic :D

- Rabb

Fuck that was gold, thank you for brightening my day!

That is simply brilliant

Anyone who thinks that was in any way entertaining obviously has had some mis matched relationships.

If you're in a relationship and your partner does not want sex as much as you do, or seems to not even like it, fucking leave.

If you aren't fucking you might aswell cut the love shit and make it a friendship.

If only they were married. It's not considered rape if you're married.